zazpowered
zazpowered (900)

6

Adblock Competenacy Test

Checking to see if a person has enough basic knowledge to have installed adblock on their browser of choice.

After opening the link to the new Justin Bieber music video, George failed the Adblock Competency Test after waiting for a 30 second Honda commercial to end.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

    12

    IE Troll

    A person who purposely uses Internet Explorer in front of others and claims that it is the superior browser on the market, to either mock another person or make it seem like they are completely incompetent.

    Jack is an IE troll who gets girls to help him install chrome because he is "so bad" at using computers.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

      3

      Add Me on Google Plus

      A commonly used expression used during the first two weeks of the product's release.

      I just got my invite, add me on Google Plus. This is going to destroy facebook

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

        20

        Bing It

        An expression created by a marketing team within Microsoft that hypothesized that people would say this over the more commonly used expression "Google it."

        Microsoft Marketing Rep: I want you to figure out Google's market share.
        Bing Product Engineer: Sure one sec let me Google it.
        Microsoft Marketing Rep: NO! Bing it!
        Bing Product Engineer: Oh right, I forgot.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

          5

          Hacker News Hack

          A person who spends his time commenting on Hacker News product posts all day criticizing everything he sees, but is just barely aware that they can't make something original of his or her own.

          During his breaks, Jack becomes a hacker news hack who browses hacker news all day and criticizes everything he reads.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

            13

            The Anti Drug Test Node

            An employee who mostly does his assignments and work under the influence quite often, but is so valuable to the company that the managers go through any length to prevent drug tests from being conducted on that individual or department.

            We never have drug tests here in the engineering department because of all the anti-drug test nodes in the office. If we did we'd have to fire half the people who've designed our system architecture.

            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

              14

              Swift

              Swift is a multi-paradigm, compiled programming language created by Apple Inc. It is also the last name of a famous American pop star.

              Zeeshan: Your resume says you have 10 years of Swift experience.
              Intern Applicant: Yes sir.
              Zeeshan: You do realize it hasn't been around for that long...
              Intern Applicant: Sorry sir I was trying to look cool.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                4

                *Insert Company Name Here* Happy Hour

                We will give you free booze to browse our app, have a positive impression of us, and meet other people doing the same thing.

                You should come to our Product Hunt Happy Hour early this Thursday. There's normally a line wrapping around the building.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                  36

                  MBA

                  Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

                  Steve: Have you started your business yet?
                  Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                  3

                  Synergy

                  A word used by members of the marketing department to describe a vague link to their company and the company that they are pitching to in order to receive a lucrative financial reward

                  "This kind of synergy between our 2 companies is what will fuel the future of forward thinking and bold innovation"

                  Added by thefacebook thefacebook almost 9 years ago

                    40

                    Bus Factor

                    The number of people that need to be hit by a bus before their project is dead.

                    "Our engineers work in teams of 10 for the higher bus factor"

                    Added by asdf asdf almost 9 years ago

                    • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

                      It is well known that engineers make a "SPOF" sound when hit by a bus.

                      2
                      Reply
                      almost 8 years ago
                    2

                    Stack

                    Shorthand for Stackoverflow, the question and answer site for professional and enthusiast programmers.

                    A: "I just cannot figure out how I'm supposed to get this gulp task to work!"
                    B: "Did you check Stack? Looks like a common enough problem."
                    A: "Good point, I'll ask Stack."

                    Added by picopallasi picopallasi almost 9 years ago

                      4

                      Bro Rata

                      A term used to describe your commitment to investing in your friendship every round even when it's going down to the right.
                      A term coined by Startup L. Jackson.

                      Tony: Friend, I'm going to be spending more time with you in order to maintain my bro rata in you. I just can't risk losing my stake anymore.
                      Steven: Seriously, you're gonna do that after you went out with my girlfriend?!

                      Added by svhunt svhunt almost 9 years ago

                        13

                        Vaporware

                        A piece of nothing. Generally used to describe something that is inexistent. "The snake oil of tech".

                        John: he got the investment without a product?
                        Andrew: he sold them total vaporware dude, he's not even sure what he's gonna build

                        Added by Cloudhamza Cloudhamza almost 9 years ago

                          3

                          Recruiter

                          A non-technical sales person who acts as a professional middle man/woman that does everything they can to get between tech talent and the company they want to work for, in order to arbitrage the deal-flow around the economics of a code ninja actually working for a company. Their job is to get in the way and stop tech talent from working for the companies they want to work for unless they the recruiter can get paid for the work the tech talent does as well. They will only introduce you to the companies they can make money from and are not known to care about "fit" or your own happiness outside of them getting paid, but because they get paid so much for providing so little value they will smile and lie to your face and tell you otherwise.. Also known as a cancer to most startups and companies.

                          Adam: The recruiter lied again. I'm still not getting paid on time or in the right amounts. And its not a full time gig like I was told, its a contract with no possibility of conversation or extension.
                          Steve: Dude, that's what recruiters do. Never trust a recruiter, they are a cancer.

                          Added by honestduane honestduane almost 9 years ago

                            5

                            No Free Lunch

                            An expression known all to well to employees at Apple Inc, who are required to pay for their own lunch.

                            Back at Google we'd get free food during all times of day, but here at Apple it comes out of my salary because there's no free lunch.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                              2

                              Ephemeral Messaging

                              Normally refers to modern chat services that delete the conversation users have between one another at some point in time.

                              I love ephemeral messaging services because I never have to feel conscious about how much I curse.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                                10

                                ESports

                                Video game players attempt to turn DOTA, LoL, Counter Strike, and other popular video games into a sport lost in a twilight dream that one day they can be paid large sums of money to validate their laziness.

                                I didn't go to a single class this semester because my friends and I are dropping out to start a Goat Simulator ESports team.

                                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                                  30

                                  Vanity Metrics

                                  Useless data that looks good but does not necessarily correlate real success.

                                  Bob: Our website gets a million views daily!
                                  Mark: How many of them are you converting to paid users?
                                  Bob: Well.. we are still working on that.

                                  Added by serge serge almost 9 years ago

                                  11

                                  Lean Startup

                                  A startup philosophy that attempts to combine the aspects of product driven with customer driven resulting in often successful, and simultaneously mediocre apps and websites that fails to bring forth truly disruptive technology.

                                  Bob: I've spent all day doing customer development surveys for my Uber for tutoring app.

                                  Alice: That's nice. I just finished some testing for my needle-free vaccine delivery system.

                                  Bob: [Walks away feeling sorry for Alice, who has no clue what his customers really want and won't be able to pivot after sinking such large R&D costs]

                                  Added by Mcat Mcat almost 9 years ago