zazpowered
zazpowered (901)

4

Low Engagement Shame

The shame that people of the internet generation feel after they add a piece of content to a social network and there is little or no engagement. This can be likes and comments on Facebook/Instagram or favorites and retweets on Twitter.

David: I uploaded a selfie 10 minutes ago and nobody has liked it yet. Did I use a bad filter? What is going on? I need to delete this right away

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

    2

    On-demand Worker

    An on-demand worker is someone employed by an on-demand company such as Uber, Lyft, Instacart or Postmates although many on-demand workers work for a few of these companies concurrently. They are usually 1099 workers or independent contractors and do not get the same company benefits such as healthcare and PTO that full time employees enjoy. Companies hire on-demand workers for flexibility, to save money and to have less liability.

    Tim: Although being an on-demand worker affords me fewer benefits I kinda like it because I can set my own hours and learn how to code on the side.

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

      3

      BART

      BART which stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit is a rapid transit system that services the San Francisco Bay Area. It is one of the most popular ways to get around the area as they operate 44 stations that cover a large portion of SF Bay. While safe and convenient for the most part, BART is also home to some of the most interesting characters you will find.

      Tim: Why does it smell so bad in here? Did that dude just pee on the ground? Why is he taking his pants off now?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5_z1r-mlmI (NSFW)

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

      • orien orien

        that guy is really flexible

        2
        Reply
        over 9 years ago
      • zazpowered zazpowered

        @orien comments are saying why is nobody stopping him but I wouldn't want to fuck with somebody that athletic. especially when they are on drugs

        1
        Reply
        over 9 years ago
      3

      Backlink

      A backlink is an inbound link to a webpage. Search engine rankings are heavily based on the number of quality backlinks a webpage has because it is a signal of popularity and importance. Anchor text is the descriptive label of a backlink and determines how relevant the link is to a web page.

      This is a backlink to Google with anchor text "Google"

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

        4

        Humorification

        Like gamification except you add elements of humor to your product to make it more interesting and engaging.

        Tim: What does Agile mean? I hate reading dictionaries I feel like I'm back in college.
        Chris: http://svdictionary.com/words/agile
        Tim: Wow that's amazing. I'm going to visit this site everyday

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

          3

          Early Engineer at Successful Company

          Instead of buying a nice watch or a super car, rich people in Silicon Valley will flaunt either their title, such as early engineer at Twitter or their star investors, such as Andreessen Horowitz, because it implies they have a lot of money.

          Tim: Why do you always introduce yourself as an early employee at Facebook. Isn't that a little pretentious?
          David: But.. but I drive a Prius.. and I'm wearing a plain t-shirt.

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

            3

            Adderall

            Adderall is a drug that some startup founders and employees use for heightened attention, energy and awareness so they can perform better at work. It is normally used to treat those with ADHD and ADD

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SSvM9lzYV0

            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

              3

              First Mover Advantage

              The advantage a startup gains by being the first to market such as limited competition and novelty factor.

              John: I've got good news. I did a quick Google search and it seems like no one has tried our on-demand oranges idea yet. We will have first mover advantage!
              Paul: There's probably a good reason for that

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                4

                Startup 15

                Similar to Freshman 15 except this weight gain is caused by alcohol and catered meals that your startup offers you.

                John: My startup needs to stop feeding me. I already have Startup 15 but luckily there's a gym at work.

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                  2

                  Logo Wingman Fail

                  When you go out with your logo wingman but you don't choose a suitable logo.

                  Jen: I know what you're doing but I don't know what Pied Piper is

                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                    12

                    Just go start a company

                    Common advice given in Silicon Valley due to the current rockstar status of entrepreneurs and how easy and affordable it has become to start a company. Tools like AWS, Heroku and Rails have made it easy for new developers to put up simple websites and mobile apps to validate their ideas. Online coding education such as Codecademy is getting better and becoming more commonplace. With all that said, not everyone is suited to be entrepreneur, companies need employees and being a successful entrepreneur is not as easy as it may seem based on the number of funding announcements you see on TechCrunch.

                    http://techcrunch.com/2014/07/20/the-problem-with-founders/

                    Boss: I think you have too much potential to be working here as an early employee. Just go start a company.
                    David: I don't really want to. The last idea I attempted was an on-demand cat walking service and it failed so badly I don't want to ever do it again.
                    Boss: I'll be honest. That sounds pretty bad... but I still think you should start a company.

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                      5

                      Office Kitchen Thief

                      1st Definition: Somebody who takes food or drink from their startup's kitchen with the intention to consume it at home versus at the workplace. Not a real thief.
                      2nd Definition: Somebody who takes food or drink labeled with one of their coworkers' names.

                      Bob: My Instacart delivery isn't going to come in time. I'm going to be a office kitchen thief for today and just grab a few things

                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                        5

                        Hipster Designer Fallacy

                        The mistaken belief that good designers must be hipsters or look like hipsters.

                        Tim: So there's this really great designer I am interviewing. He has a really nice portfolio and seems like a sharp dude but he doesn't have oversized black rimmed glasses or a scarf. Do you think he will be any good?
                        Rachel: Hmm. I wouldn't risk it.

                        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                          3

                          Timid Sales Rep

                          The Timid Sales Rep is completely honest about the SAAS product he is selling, not pushy and never raising his voice. He also misses quota most of the time.

                          Sales Rep: How did I do on that call?
                          Sales manager: Why the hell were you speaking so softly? Also I know the base package only allows 10 users but you need to kludge it a little. Just tell them 15 to close the deal.

                          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                            4

                            Soylent Diet

                            Refers to the diet of busy entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley. Instead of eating like normal human beings these entrepreneurs drink Soylent, a powered meal replacement, because it is more efficient than chewing and using knife and fork.

                            Check out this New York Times article for more about this interesting phenomenon.

                            Matthew: Wow have you heard of Soylent? It will allow me to work throughout the day without wasting any time to eat like these foodies out here. I only wish it came in a backpack so I could attach a feeding tube between it and my stomach and have it on the go.

                            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                              6

                              One Dollar Billionaire

                              Refers to the $1 a year salary that a lot of founders and top executives take on for tax benefits. It's also because who really cares about salary when you have a billion dollars.

                              Mark Zuckerberg: I make $1 a year. You know what that means

                              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                                4

                                Nelson “Big Head” Bighetti

                                Nelson "Big Head" Bighetti was a tenant of Erlich's incubator and is Richard's friend. He is hired by Hooli on a huge promotion to work on Nucleus, Hooli's version of Pied Pier, and to spite Richard. After Big Head is removed from the Nucleus project due to his limited tech knowledge he begins to rest and vest. Later he is promoted to Sole Head Dreamer at Hooli XYZ, a bullshit title and department, because Gavin wants to sue Pied Piper by arguing that Big Head came up with Pied Piper's algorithm while at Hooli.

                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bPAiAE7COo
                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFhrjtZBV_k
                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vwo5rjlLhTo
                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM67VYO8qeo

                                Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                                  4

                                  Jack Dorsey Style Scale

                                  A highly scientific way to rate Internet moguls' approach to dressing relative to that of Jack Dorsey's. Reference

                                  Sarah: Woah Mark Pincus dresses really well. I think he is an example of an internet mogul with 5 out of 5 on the Dorsey Style Scale.
                                  Adarsh: That's true but he's not an engineer. We need to revise the scale to be technical moguls only if want to make it fair.

                                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                                    3

                                    Private Beta

                                    When a startup requires an invite to use their product but invite codes are handed out like candy. Used to appear favorably to investors because it implies there were at least some users that wanted to use their product but couldn't get in.

                                    Founder: Guys we are in private beta right now but if you use invite code TRYME you will have access. Don't share with your friends though. Make sure you don't share

                                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                                      4

                                      Zombie Mode

                                      A state of minimal eye or head movement while looking at a phone. Frequently observed during your morning commute to work on BART, subway or bus. If you look up once in a while to observe your surroundings you are not in zombie mode.

                                      Jason: Hey do you see that guy sitting over there. That's my dad. Why is taking the bus right now.
                                      Tim: Sorry say that again. I wasn't listening

                                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago