zazpowered
zazpowered (900)

5

Logo Wingman

When an employee of a hot pre-IPO company purposely wears a lot of corporate swag to attract the opposite sex.

Richard: Yesterday I was talking to this woman at the bar and I purposely tilted my body so she could get a glance at the Uber logo on my sweatshirt. My backpack had Uber on it too. No response. I mean I didn't initiate conversation but I thought that would be enough.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

    9

    Ramen Profitable

    When a startup makes enough money to pay for the founders' living expenses. To read more check out Paul Graham's post on it

    Matthew: Just because it's called ramen profitable doesn't mean you need to be eating ramen all the time. There are other foods in the same price range.
    Kilim: Wait I don't?

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

      5

      Stack Overflow Effect

      Refers to how much Stack Overflow has improved developer efficiency around the world. If it didn't exist engineers would be using shitty mailing lists or figuring out things themselves.

      Boss: So you're telling me that because Stack Overflow is down you need to take a break? and I hired you because you know how to search a website that anybody in the world can access? Why am I paying you so much?

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

        5

        Microsoft Word

        A skill people add to their Linkedin profile that instantly tells you, with 100% accuracy, that they are not tech savvy.

        Harold: I have Microsoft Word and Excel listed on my Linkedin profile with approximately 50 endorsements each and I'm not getting any responses to my tech job applications. Did I apply with the wrong email?

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

          6

          That's Startup Life

          The default response whenever someone talks about how shitty being an entrepreneur is.

          Kim: I've been working for the past 15 hours, can't afford anything but Taco Bell and investors are telling me they want to circle back in a few months. We all know what that means. This sucks.
          Matthew: That's startup life. What do you expect?

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

            4

            Linkedin Recommendation

            Something you write in response to a Linkedin recommendation you receive or if you want to receive a new Linkedin recommendation.

            Arrel: You know, I could just ask David for a Linkedin recommendation but I found the most efficient way is to just recommend them and wait for the kickback recommendation

            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

              9

              Equity Whore

              A startup founder that micro manages company equity to maximize his own ownership but loses sight of more important things.

              David: Did you hear? I managed to negotiate that lead engineer down to 0.3%. Now I will have an extra 1%.
              Sarah: Stop being such an equity whore, having a smaller piece of something is better than having a large piece of nothing.

              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                6

                Freemium

                A strategy used by startups to make money by shoving as many people through the top of a funnel as possible and hoping some of them convert into paid users.

                Matthew: Right now we have a shitty product that nobody will pay for. Lets release it for free so at least somebody will use it and then we can gradually improve it and charge them for extra services.

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                  5

                  Airbnb Job

                  Refers to the job of renting out sections of your own apartment or even renting and purchasing new property for the sole purpose of renting out on Airbnb.

                  Rachel: You told me you didn't have a job.
                  Tim: Oh, it's an Airbnb job. Not a real job but my closet is fetching $800 a month right now so I make good money.

                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                    7

                    Phone Sleep

                    Refers to the one hour in bed you will spend checking your phone before you actually go to sleep.

                    SAT question: If Johnny is a phone sleeper and needs to real sleep by 12am so he can wake up for a 7am interview what time does he need to get to bed?

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                      5

                      Scrappy

                      A word used by startup founders to justify the unethical tactics they use to grow their companies.

                      Jen: Did you really just scrape all of that site's content and then email their users to promote your own website? Omg thats so admirable. You're so scrappy

                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                        20

                        Technical Founder

                        A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.

                        Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.

                        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                        3

                        Big Company Utopia

                        Refers to the type of environment that big companies such as Facebook and Google create for their employees. This includes free dinner and lunch, mini fridges filled with $8 a bottle cold pressed juices, organic everything, shuttles to and from work and even mobile hair salons waiting for you outside in the parking lot. Meanwhile a small startup might get a water fountain that will work half the time.

                        Tiffany: I heard Facebook stocks their fridge with kombucha. What the hell. I want that. I don't even get paid as much.

                        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                          6

                          Does anyone make money around here?

                          Users of venture backed startups and residents of Silicon Valley ask this question frequently. They do not understand how a lot of social apps such as Snapchat and Facebook (before they started to run ads) are able to raise so much money at sky high valuations without generating revenue.

                          For on demand services such as Uber, Instacart and Caviar they do not understand how signup credit, promo codes and referral credit can be offered so frequently.

                          Jim: Let me get this straight. Snapchat is worth $10 billion now and they haven't made any money? Just now I read Uber is offering $100 signup credit, $50 credit for every friend I refer and a one time promo code of $20 off of my first ride. Does anyone make money around here?

                          Tim: You realize Uber has raised $1 billion dollars every month for the past 12 months right?

                          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                            59

                            Non-technical Cofounder

                            A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.

                            Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.

                            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                            5

                            Buying the logo

                            Investors putting a tiny percentage of a fund into a company so they can claim credit. Credit to Sam Altman

                            Due to the success of Airbnb, some investors are buying the logo so they can put an Airbnb badge on their website.

                            Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                              4

                              Ride Sharing Tension

                              The tension a user of Uber Pool or Lyft Line feels when they feel obligated to make small talk with other passengers.

                              "Shit he's right next to me. Do I need to talk to him? It's already been 5 minutes since he got into the car though. Dammit I'm using regular Uber next time."

                              Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                                4

                                Business Hour

                                When you go to a happy hour with the only intention to network with people that might invest in you or promote your startup.

                                Rachel: That dude has been talking to Ryan Hoover this whole time. I know a Product Hunt feature is nice but I thought this was a happy hour not a business hour.

                                Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                                  2

                                  Uber Fast Food

                                  When you are hungry during a Uber ride so you tell your driver to go through Mcdonald's drive-through.

                                  Matt: "Honestly, getting Uber Fast Food isn't so bad. It is a little awkward for the Mcdonald's employee to see your driver trying to align the backseat window with the drive-through window so you can pay . Of course if a friend sees you it's also a little embarrassing but that's it."

                                  Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

                                    2

                                    Dressing the part

                                    When an engineer that normally wears contact lenses puts on glasses for a job interview or pitch meeting.

                                    See http://svdictionary.com/words/software-engineer-uniform

                                    Jennifer: You seriously think wearing glasses is going to help you get funded?
                                    David: It's called dressing the part and it works so stop talking.

                                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago