zazpowered
zazpowered (867)

5

Tech Drowning

How you feel after living in Silicon Valley for a while because it seems like everyone you talk to is either working at a startup, trying to start something or a VC. It's normal to feel a little annoyed when you overhear your bus driver say he is preparing a YC application (http://svdictionary.com/words/y-combinator).

Tim: Living in Silicon Valley is nice but its not hard to feel like you are tech drowning sometimes. The midwest would be a nice change

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
3

Button's Law

Inspired by Benjamin Button and Moore's Law, this is an observation that the average age of new engineers & entrepreneurs decreases by approximately 1 with every passing year. With online education becoming commonplace, people all over the world are able to learn at a faster pace. Critics of Button's Law argue that this doesn't make any sense because average age will eventually reach 0 but they are wrong.

Matthew: Damn did you read about that 7 year old entrepreneur? He started his own car company to compete with Tesla and has already raised funding.
Sarah: Jesus. Back when I was 7 I was building sand castles.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
3

B.S. Computer Science, Freeloading Minor

The distinction a CS student receives upon graduating college having written minimal code. This is done by free loading off of team members during group projects and copying code from peers during individual assignments. If they graduate having written no code, they get a double major.

Brad: Did John write any code in his 4 years here? I just want to see if he got B.S. CS, Freloading Minor or B.S. CS, B.A. Freeloading

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
3

Chris Bosh

An NBA basketball player that promoted computer science in a code.org video. Some people are skeptical that a 6'10 power forward making 20m a year is coding in his free time but its possible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oHe0ozN7Oc

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
7

Post Silicon Valley Move Stress Disorder (PSVMSD)

What an investment banker experiences after moving to Silicon Valley because he is no longer at the top of the totem pole.

Lloyd: The other day I was talking to this girl when suddenly this nerdy Facebook employee starts talking to her, not even Mark, just a regular employee... and then she completely ignores me. I work in finance. I repeat, I work in finance. I miss New York.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
4

Airbnb

A website for people to rent out lodging. An example of a dumb sounding idea that turned out really well.

VC: So let me get this straight. A stranger will come into your house and sleep on an air mattress? and then you will give them breakfast? and you think it will be worth $25 billion one day? I know the market is really hot for founders right now but you need to do something else.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
3

Apple

A massive electronics company started by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. With $180B in cash on hand, a $730B market cap and people all over the world scrambling to buy their latest products, Apple is doing almost everything well. A large part of their success is due to their marketing of the latest iPhone upgrade as the greatest thing in the world. See http://svdictionary.com/words/this-changes-everything

Jenny: I need that gold iPhone. I make $10k a year but I need that iPhone

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
13

Uber Driver Engineer

A label that describes a lot of Uber drivers. When you talk to one they will tell you they are trying to learn how to code, build an app and start a company. Uber is only now, startup is future. The passenger will encourage the driver but deep down inside they don't think its happening.

Because of the success of Uber there has been an influx of Uber Driver Engineers trying to start their own companies.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
7

This is Uber

What a passenger will say to turn down their Uber driver when he attempts to start a conversion or expects a fist bump. This happens because of the high percentage of Uber drivers that also drive for Lyft.

Driver: Man the weather is really nice today. Where are you headed?
Chris: This is Uber.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
10

Lean Domaining

Is a strategy used by scrappy startup founders to acquire domains from domain squatters for the lowest price possible. You email the squatter under the guise of a young boy trying to set up a website for his local church group. By using bad grammar (and just sounding dumb in general) you need to sell to the squatter how little money you have, how much hardship you are going through and how much that website will mean to your community. After selling you the domain, the squatter may read your $35m Series A on Techcrunch but that's just business.

hey john,

I'm new to the internet i sw that you own cars.com. my church group has made me in charge of setting up a web page. I heard that geocities would be a good place to start. u recommend perl? anyways i have $50. please help me out

Timmy

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
2

Whale

A term borrowed from the gambling world to refer to higher rollers that drop a lot of cash and make casinos a ton of money. In Silicon Valley, whale refers to high rollers in mobile games. Zynga, Supercell and other mobile gaming companies make most of their money from whales as less than 3% of freemium game players spend any money on in-app purchases.

Richard: Lets make our game free so we can attract the most number of downloads and hope that a good percentage of our players convert into whales.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
16

Herd Mentality

When people follow the leader or others like a herd instead of thinking independently. Often seen when investors are deciding which startups to fund.

VC: You guys have a really strong team, exactly the type that we like to fund, but we just don't believe in the idea.
Kim: Did I mention that a16z decided to invest in us yesterday.
VC: Wait. Don't leave. I think we started things off on the wrong foot.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

5

Startup Dinner

When startups provide their employees with free dinner. It is offered partly because your employer is nice but mostly to get you to work longer hours.

Eugene: Hey Alex, are you going to stay for dinner. We are starting to offer free dinner everyday now.
Justin: No I'm ok I was actually going to cook something at home.
Eugene: Are you sure? Please stay

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
8

Self made entrepreneur

A label meaning that an entrepreneur has come from nothing, has not inherited their wealth or startup. A lot of entrepreneurs have found a loophole because while inheriting a lot of money disqualifies one from being self made, receiving a shit ton of money and connections from your parents while they are alive doesn't.

John: How did you possibly hire 50 people without any VC funding. You told me you were self made?
Lyman: My dad gave me a ton of money and connections. Does that count?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
8

SWOT Analysis

SWOT is a planning method used to evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of an idea or decision. Jared is ridiculed by the other members of Pied Piper on Silicon Valley for suggesting SWOT because they think it is corporate and a waste of time.

"I've booby trapped the house with corporate resources"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfB0g_JDIds

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
5

Startup Social Worth

When your Silicon Valley social worth is based on which startups you have founded or work at.

Sidecar Employee at bar: There are so many Uber employees here. I have no chance with these women

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
26

10x Engineer

A concept sometimes used in Silicon Valley to describe an engineer that is 10x more productive than an average engineer although the 10x metric is figurative. Sometimes referred to as "Ninjas", these engineers are highly sought after by all tech companies.

Jim: You gave me 100 resumes but none of these guys are 10x engineers. Why hire a few of these guys to slow us down when a 10x engineer is so much more productive?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

13

Hockey Stick Growth

A way to describe the type of fast growth that VC likes which is up and to the right like a hockey stick. When pitched by founders, it is often accompanied by a y axis that isn't labeled or a growth percentage that doesn't include initial value.

Matthew: We experienced 1200% user growth in the past week. Our growth is as hockey stick as it gets.
Sam: How many users did you start off with.
Matthew: You know... I didn't need to take this meeting. VCs are lining up to fund me

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
6

Snack Dick

Like a regular dick but smaller and tucked behind the ear. Used by Dinesh on Silicon Valley to describe Pied Piper's logo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze4JhsDiSWI

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.
25

Silicon Valley Billionaire

Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.

Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

  • Login to leave a comment.