svhunt
svhunt (108)

6

Pre-Revenue

The bullshit an entrepreneur spews to investors to convince them of a high valuation since the seed money will allow the startup to grow immeasurably. Usually followed by more bullshit, greater valuations and eventually and a low revenue to evaluation ratio and companies which never attain revenues to justify their evaluation.

Currently the greatest contribution to the startup bubble.

Person A: How can that startup afford golden toilets and helicopter rides to work?

Person B: Of course they can, they are pre-revenue and focusing on growth!

Added by JonWilkins JonWilkins over 9 years ago

20

Technical Founder

A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.

Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

11

Lean Startup

A startup philosophy that attempts to combine the aspects of product driven with customer driven resulting in often successful, and simultaneously mediocre apps and websites that fails to bring forth truly disruptive technology.

Bob: I've spent all day doing customer development surveys for my Uber for tutoring app.

Alice: That's nice. I just finished some testing for my needle-free vaccine delivery system.

Bob: [Walks away feeling sorry for Alice, who has no clue what his customers really want and won't be able to pivot after sinking such large R&D costs]

Added by Mcat Mcat over 9 years ago

    6

    Silicone Valley

    A nickname for Los Angeles, plastic surgery capital of the world. Commonly mistaken for Silicon Valley.

    I'm going down to Silicone Valley this year for an Oscar Party.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

    29

    Silicon Valley Billionaire

    Silicon Valley Billionaires tend to be younger, poorer dressed and generally less douchey than billionaires from other areas. Some are so poorly dressed that it is often hard to distinguish one from a hobo. In New York, a 23 year old scrawny male with t-shirt and jeans might be told to fuck off at a Lambourhini dealership but the same thing would never happen in Silicon Valley.

    Sales person: Do you think I should even talk to that guy over there. It doesn't look like he can afford a car.
    2nd sales person: That's Mark Zuckerberg

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

      37

      Uber of...

      Commonly used by startup founders to compare their mediocre startup or idea to the startup unicorn Uber.

      Startup Founder: We're the Uber of food delivery.
      VC: Uhhh... so is everyone else.

      Added by ssc242 ssc242 over 9 years ago

      • iceariel13 iceariel13

        Yep, seamless, delivery,com, munchery, caviar...the list never ends

        1
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        over 9 years ago
      • N.Hemingway N.Hemingway

        You should additionally add "Facebook of..." probably the most heard phrase since 2010 ;D

        1
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        over 9 years ago
      58

      Engineer Unicorn

      An engineer that is competent, good looking, dresses well and is not socially awkward.

      John: How come no other engineers are like David?
      Mary: He's an engineer unicorn. They are rare.

      Added by pygmyknight pygmyknight over 9 years ago

      • torbenberger torbenberger

        The legend says some of them can be found here http://www.engineerunicorns.com

        2
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        over 9 years ago
      • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

        "Unicorn" is a common term for an engineer (usually front-end) who also has good taste in design and is able to contribute to UX early on. But "unicorn" is also used for startups that turn out to be breakout successes, like Uber and Airbnb. Silicon Valley really likes unicorns.

        3
        Reply
        over 9 years ago
      26

      Engineer Hot Girl Syndrome

      When a non-technical founder starts treating really good engineers like attractive girls, asking them out to dinner, buying them gifts arbitrarily, and sometimes getting nervous in their presence.

      Zeeshan's friend Vishnu is such a good programmer I get engineer hot girl syndrome in his presence. I want him on our team so badly.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

        36

        MBA

        Certification that you've read case studies on how others have succeeded.

        Steve: Have you started your business yet?
        Jeremey: No I'm getting my MBA. I'll start my first business when I'm 30 and have a wife and kids.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

        30

        Stack

        Refers to the variety of technologies used to build and maintain your website, app, or service. Might also refer to a large amount of pancakes.

        Son: Hey pops, wanna throw another stack on my plate? Pass the syrup too.
        Pops: No son, your stack needs to maintainable, don't let your code base get out of control!

        Added by zander zander over 9 years ago

          94

          Waterloo

          A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.

          Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
          Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."

          Added by robert robert over 9 years ago

          • zazpowered zazpowered

            @orien No what are you talking about

            1
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            over 9 years ago
          • zazpowered zazpowered

            @SingleCommaClub It's similar to what you see from immigrants to a new country like US or Canada

            1
            Reply
            over 9 years ago
          • zazpowered zazpowered

            I have a lot of friends from canada and waterloo and this seems really accurate from what i've heard

            1
            Reply
            over 9 years ago
          • charlesjo charlesjo

            It's like a parallel universe of Silicon Valley where people speak American English...

            3
            Reply
            over 9 years ago
          • orien orien

            @zazpowered aren't you from waterloo

            2
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            over 9 years ago
          • freefunctor freefunctor

            @SingleCommaClub That's not true at all. Pretty much everyone I know from my graduating class got offers from US companies. A significant proportion of students choose to stay because the region is booming right now, and also the quality of life in Canada is pretty high.

            2
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            over 9 years ago
          • zazpowered zazpowered

            @freefunctor toronto and canada are awesome

            2
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            over 9 years ago
          • SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub

            Have worked with a lot of engineers from Waterloo through internships and full time. Can honestly say they are very talented, but there is a bias because all the ones that make it to US companies are generally top notch.

            2
            Reply
            over 9 years ago
          • Devilinlimbo Devilinlimbo

            I love this site!

            6
            Reply
            almost 8 years ago
          36

          Brogrammer

          When you mix your typical engineer with your typical frat boy. The official heuristic to identify a brogrammer in your organization is when you can't tell whether the suspect is part of your engineering team or your sales team.

          David: I originally thought Kilim was a programmer but he's been popping his collar and talking a lot. Is he a brogrammer?

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

          • bkelly bkelly

            More useful information for problogrammer here IBM

            1
            Reply
            over 8 years ago