zazpowered (900)
Medium
A blogging platform to announce your Incredible Journey.
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employeeNumbaOne almost 8 years agoVR Critical Mass Prison
A metaphorical prison for people who've dedicated more than 2 years of their lives on Virtual Reality startups whose sole existence in the future depends on VR devices reaching critical mass. If it doesn't, they are screwed.
Jaime quit making iPhone apps and started developing games on VR. He plays hundreds of hours of Team Fortress 2 every week to escape the fact that he is in VR Critical Mass Prison.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoTinder Ghostwriter
Someone who is hired to chat on behalf of others with the intention of getting their employer a date.
I've paid my rent this month by tinder ghostwriting for more than half of the engineering department. The hardest part is convincing them to take pictures of themselves without unlaundered hoodies and mom jeans.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoRubber Duck Debugging
A method of evaluating and debugging a set of one's code, where a programmer schizophrenically explains his or her logic to a rubber duck, line by line. This is delineated in a popular book called "The Pragmatic Programmer."
Ryan: I can't tell if Satish is crazy or if he's evaluating his Tinder clone app using Rubber Duck Debugging. Sasha: He's just crazy.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoVP Of Product
Overseas the vision of the product. Communicates between the C Level executives and the engineering heads to develop a product consistent with the company's values.
Ryan got promoted to VP of Product and now spends most of his time in meetings with the CTO trying to hammer out reasonable trajectories for the company.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoUnicorn Graveyard
The metaphorical graveyard that is projected to encompasses the carcasses of tech companies that have raised VC money with high valuations, unable to deliver the value and results that they promised.
Alot of people think that Evernote, Dropbox, and Box will be amoung the departed dug deep into the soil of the unicorn graveyard.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoBus Factor
The number of people that need to be hit by a bus before their project is dead.
"Our engineers work in teams of 10 for the higher bus factor"
asdf almost 9 years agoMultiply people by dollars
To multiply dollars by people. A situation where the startup is based on arithmetic and primitive desire to get rich. It relies heavily on an assumption that everyone should become a user of the service.
Two people were traveling in the bus and talked about potential startups. Suddenly, one of them saw a janitor, whose orange jacket flashed in the window.
- Oh... Listen, what if we create the social network for janitors? There are many of them in Moscow.
- I wonder how many?
- 50 thousand, I guess.
- And what about other workers?
- Another 50 thousand, no less.
- So then we get 100 thousand of them... They're from Central Asia and most are lonely here, they want to get married and get acquainted with each other. By the way, this target group they consume special type of rice, cottonseed oil...
- So ... Subscription model? Two dollars a month? $24 a year is cheap, right?
- Wait-wait-wait a second! Multiply by 24 hundred thousand and we get...
- Two million four hundred thousand a year!..
- Plus ads!
SergeyMoskalev over 8 years agohahahahaha that's hilarious. Good to know that such mindset is global.
Killing Email
A goal that thousands of startups every year pitch with their "unique" web app. This was mostly done because during a time, 1000's of investors would eat this sort of pitch up.
Jim: We're making a platform that connects Facebook, Twitter, and your phone contacts and lets you message anyone directly. We're killing email. Zeeshan: Or you're recreating it, but replacing email addresses with social network data? Jim: #ChangingTheWorld Zeeshan: ...
yungsnuggie over 8 years ago
Crushing it
Achieving exceptional success with something.
Jess is totally crushing it with her new Uber-for-VC-funding app. She's already been hunted.
Travis almost 9 years agoFounders use this term until "Awesome Journey."
Bitcoin
An internet exchange currency originally used on Silk Road that silicon valley entrepreneurs and investors don't want failing because their startup revolves around it. These same people rarely use it on a day to day basis.
Jimmy: My startup lets you pay for ice cream using Bitcoin.
Jerry: Awesome, as the founder of a Bitcoin company how many Bitcoins do you actually own?
Jimmy: 0
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoFavorite Baiting
When companies on Twitter like Tweets with specific key words to get you to click on their page.
After taking a picture of my ice cream and hashtagging #ILoveChocolate, I received likes from three interracial dieting Twitter pages trying to favorite bait me
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoGirlfriend
For a handful of heterosexual men, this term is referred to as one's laptop because they rarely want others touching it and it's the only warm thing that touches them below the waste for long periods of time.
Meek: Have you seen my girlfriend? Drake: Nikkis in Paris for a show. Meek: Nah I mean my MacBook Air. I wanna tweet a new diss at you. I probably won't see Nikki for awhile. Drake: It's next to Wayne's bed. Meek: I'm gonna curl up with my girlfriend and watch some Game of Thrones.
covfefelord over 8 years ago@blwinters lol
"the waste", a rather poetic typo
Passion
(1) A word that has been ceaselessly bastardized and overused by founders and investors who are too lazy to actually give well thought out advice. When someone tells you to "follow your passion" here, they are essentially copping out and giving you an answer that aims to make them look good without actually professing anything with actual substance. Using this word is only somewhat acceptable when paired with other useful advice, but never alone.
(2) An expression used to secretly talk down to someone you find meaningless.
James: You got any advice for founders who've just signed on their first hundred customers and are now trying to raise their first round of funding? Prominent founder: Follow your passion. Laura: How about finding technical founders to join you? Prominent founder: If you follow your passion they will come to you. Dan: Any advice on marketing one's product for the first time? Prominent founder: If you show potential customers you have passion, they will buy or subscribe to your product. Matt: Any advice on pivoting from a project you were passionate about? Prominent founder: Yes. Find another passion.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoRod Stewart https://youtu.be/iIi3LUrUioA
Futurist
A futurist uses their semi-egotistically driven foresight to describe what could happen in the future. Because they are exposed to very early versions of new technology and believe they hold a strong grasp on the insights of the human condition, they channel their sagely ways via often ignored online blog posts, tweets, and books that are rarely read.
Jane: VR is pretty cool isn't it? Futurist: STAHP RIGHT THERE. HERE IS WHAT SHALL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE. WE SHALL ALL USE VR TO COMMUNINCATE WITH PEOPLE. THERE WILL BE NO MORE NEED FOR PEOPLE TO FLY AROUND THE WORLD TO MEET EACH OTHER. THEY WILL MEET ON THE INTERNET USING BODY SCANS AND FACIAL RECOGNITION. THE POPULATION OF HUMANS WILL DECREASE BECAUSE VR WILL MAKE VIRTUAL SEX MORE ACCESSIBLE THAN REAL SEX. WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF RADICAL HUMAN CHANGE. THE WORLD AS WE KNO IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. Jane: That's interesting, I always thought that augmented reality would... Futurist: STAHP RIGHT THERE. AUGMENTED REALITY IS ONLY IN ITS INCEPTION AS WE DELIVE INTO THE OVERALL HEDGE OF WHERE THE TECHNOLOGY CAN TAKE US. WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF INCREDIBLE CHA- Jane: Hey that's my friend Matt over there, I'm gonna go say Hi to him.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoThree Commas Club
The three comma club is an all exclusive club limited to those whose net worth is valued at a billion dollars or more. The three commas are meant to symbolize the three commas that are present within the billion integer: 1,000,000,000.
My uncle started destroying half of his house out of anger upon finding he was now only worth 980,000,000 dollars and was no longer a member of the Three Comma club.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoPostmates Shame
When you order Postmates from the same place two nights in a row, and get the same courier
me: i got postmates shamed. can you get the food instead?
roommate: sure
orien over 8 years agoembarassing....
Making the world a better place
Solving a very specific problem that loosely translates into a social benefit.
We are making the world a better place through P2P iBeacon messaging platforms.
dennis almost 9 years agoLook at how much time sink we've created for evil people... with Reddit.
Design Hackers
This is a term created out of desperation to make graphic designers, animators, or product desginers seem more tech company friendly.
James: What's your sister do? Marlin: Oh she's a design hacker. James: So...like a designer? Marlin: Yeah but nah.
yungsnuggie over 8 years ago
It is well known that engineers make a "SPOF" sound when hit by a bus.