chipchop
chipchop (0)

7

Man Jose

Man Jose refers to the city of San Jose, located within Silicon Valley, which contains a large number of male Software Engineers.

Sam: Why can't I find a nice girl to go out with?
Mark: What did you expect? You live in Man Jose.

Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 8 years ago

    9

    Protective Incompetence

    Being bad at something you don't like to do, so you don't have to do it.

    > I think the reason I made such a mystery of business was that I was disgusted by the idea of doing it. I wanted to work in the pure, intellectual world of software, not deal with customers' mundane problems. People who don't want to get dragged into some kind of work often develop a protective incompetence at it. Paul Erdos was particularly good at this. By seeming unable even to cut a grapefruit in half (let alone go to the store and buy one), he forced other people to do such things for him, leaving all his time free for math. Erdos was an extreme case, but most husbands use the same trick to some degree.

    http://www.paulgraham.com/start.html

    Added by adamzerner adamzerner over 8 years ago

      6

      To Tswift

      To call out or threaten to call out a company on social media and have it actually mean something due to your popularity

      I know my performance at work hasn't been the best but I think firing me is a little too drastic. Now you know I have 300,000 followers on Twitter. I don't like to do it but I will tswift the company if you don't change your mind.

      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 8 years ago

        7

        Junior Software Engineer

        An engineer that fixes bugs and writes tests.

        Tim: I've just been fixing typos and writing tests for all the shitty code other engineers are putting out. When will I do real work?
        Harold: Shut up and keep working

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 8 years ago

        • memobug memobug

          the example doesn't use the term

          1
          Reply
          over 8 years ago
        • chipchop chipchop

          @memobug true. For some definitions using the actual word made the example flow a little worse so I leave it out if it's obvious. What do you think?

          1
          Reply
          over 8 years ago
        6

        Glasshole

        Refers to some users of Google Glass that were rude or not respectful of privacy such as recording video of people without their permission. Google even referenced this term in their Google Glass do's and don'ts list. It was put together because glassholes ruin public perception of the device and impede mainstream adoption.

        Justin: That glasshole has been recoding video of us in the corner. He can at least say something

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 8 years ago

          5

          Long Nail Delay

          When an engineer or person working at a computer doesn't cut his finger nails and his typing speed is slowed down because of it.

          Jack: Why are you working so slowly today? It took you 20 more minutes to debug Horace's shitty code today

          Lou: It's Long Nail Delay, My roommate sold my nail clipper to some pervert on Craigslist.

          Jack: Totally makes sense now.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

          • zazpowered zazpowered

            sounds really dumb but it does slow you down

            1
            Reply
            over 8 years ago
          6

          Toyota Prius

          Official car of the Bay Area due to the eco-friendly lifestyle in portrays. It is slowly being replaced by Tesla.

          Tim: You're in the 3 comma club why do you drive a Prius?
          Matt: Does your car get 46 MPG?

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 8 years ago

            5

            Editor War

            Refers to the rivalry between users of the Emacs and Vi text editors.

            https://xkcd.com/378/

            Added by pygmyknight pygmyknight over 8 years ago

              7

              Do the Needful

              Usually coined by Tech workers of East Indian descent, in context means I have to do what I have to do to get the job done or to keep my Boss from firing me.

              "Yes, we have to do the Needful to beta test this new code by Friday"

              Added by Hammer Hammer over 8 years ago

              • charlesjo charlesjo

                Only applies to esteemed organizations though ;)

                1
                Reply
                over 8 years ago
              6

              Shopping Season

              The time of the semester in which career fairs are held on campuses to recruit engineer or business dev new hires. This is when many students (mostly engineers), go around with a career fair bag and pocket free tshirts, regardless of their interest in said company.

              Jay: I scored 14 shirts this year.
              Zeeshan: Sick, that's 2 more than last semester's shopping season.
              Jay: Yeah man, I didn't even print my resumes. I asked them for their cards and told them I'd email them it.

              Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 8 years ago

                9

                I/O

                A techie way of saying Input/Output.

                All you really need to know is that it communicates between an information processing system, such as a computer, and the real world, possibly a human.

                This is not to be confused with .IO, which is a tld people use to name their sites with because they are too lazy to negotiate for the .com.

                A computer that uses memory-mapped I/O accesses hardware by reading and writing to specific memory locations. This basically means your computer will help you initiate commands with your Macbook's hardware.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                  5

                  Follow Marketing

                  When an individual using their own account or their business account follows customers on Twitter with the intention of getting them to view their profile and see their sales pitch.

                  In an attempt to kick start the awareness of his new protein powder made from peanuts and edible soap, Jack decided to do follow marketing, following every bodybuilder he could in hopes that they would check his Twitter profile to see his buy 1 get 2 free special.

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                    8

                    Rollback

                    Generally refers to when you push bad code to production and you want to undo your changes by rolling back to a previous release

                    I've made a huge mistake. Do a rollback

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 8 years ago

                      9

                      Bear Goggles

                      Similar to beer goggles, bear goggles refer to a the influence of studying at UC Berkeley on one's visual perception, whereby one slowly finds someone attractive who would not have been attractive before studying at UC Berkeley.

                      James: What do you think about her? She's pretty hot, right?
                      Dave: What are you on? You said she was hideous last semester. Did your optometrist prescribe you bear goggles?

                      Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 8 years ago

                      8

                      Bricked

                      A piece of hardware that doesn’t function anymore because it was tampered with.
                      You seriously messed up that upgrade, and now your entire device has been rendered useless.

                      "I tried to install the most recent version of Windows on my old Mac, but it totally bricked the whole computer."

                      Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper over 8 years ago

                        7

                        Valley Ageism

                        Belief that older software engineers aren't cool because they haven't learned the newest programming languages or aren't willing to work 16 hours a day because of family commitments. There's also pressure to do well at a young age due to the celebrity status of young entrepreneurs/engineers such as Mark Zuckerburg

                        The Carver: Your algorithm is solid. It's really good schema.
                        Richard: Ok... Thanks
                        The Carver: I thought you'd be younger. What are you 25?
                        Richard: 26
                        The Carver: Yikes

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdXKdRoB9Wk

                        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 8 years ago

                          7

                          Irreplaceability Tipping Point

                          The point in one's career in which being kept on the payroll, will costs less than firing and hiring someone to fill that same job. This is typically used to refer to engineers who've shipped a sizable amount of code making it an extreme pain to fire them and teach someone old code left by another author.

                          Jack: You went to Yale, you should start your own company.
                          Zeerek: Nah, as the lead engineer and part time PM on the Microsoft Bing team, I am slowly reaching the irreplaceablity tipping point of my career, in which I'll be able to show up, do minimal work, and laugh my way to the bank until I'm old and decrepit.
                          Jack: I don't know whether you're lazy or incredibly smart.
                          Zeerek: I like to think I'm both.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                          46

                          This changes everything

                          Nothing has changed. Pure marketing

                          See http://svdictionary.com/words/changing-the-world

                          Introducing the iPhone 4. This changes everything.

                          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 8 years ago

                          • charlesjo charlesjo

                            Love it. Although, I did love my iPhone 4S. And it still runs like ALL Apple products I have ever owned!

                            2
                            Reply
                            over 8 years ago
                          • thepaleking thepaleking

                            Doesn't change much to be honest, 99% marketing 1% decent phone

                            2
                            Reply
                            over 8 years ago
                          8

                          Legacy Code

                          Legacy code is source code that relates to a no-longer supported, manufactured operating system or other computer technology.

                          To punish Lewis, the senior engineer decided to make him read and edit legacy code for an entire week.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago

                            10

                            I Could've Built That Fallacy

                            The fallacy in which someone believes that they were capable of building something before an already more popular version of a product has come out.

                            In many instances this fallacy is contained by engineers working at companies or in academia in an indirect attempt to belittle the success of founders, claiming how trivial it is to build said app. It can also be a feeble attempt to make up for their unrealized internal inferiority complex. In reality they might have been able to code it, but not conceive it's details, key features, and brand identity.

                            George suffered from the I could've built that fallacy for weeks after Snapchat received an offer from Facebook for over a billion dollars in talked about acquisition. He built his own version while working at Google, but it only had 5 users. He was happy he didn't quit his day job.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 8 years ago