zander
zander (77)

3

Forking

When you use your dick and your two legs to stab him in the lower torso.

"I'm not asking you to spoon with the guy, or even fork him-"
"What is that?"
"Forking is when you use your dick and your two legs to stab him in the lower torso."

Added by zander zander over 1 year ago

5

Internet Explorer

Satan's child.

Greg: "Hey Joe, it looks like our users on IE are reporting the website is flipped upside down."
Joe: "Well tell them to get themselves the fuck on a decent browser."
Greg: "I did, but they're telling me the download link for Chrome is redirected to that Rick Roll YouTube video"
Joe: "Mother fuck. Looks like we're gonna have to sacrifice another intern to IE's Dark Lord."

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

10

Who's Hiring

A once-a-month opportunity for startups and tech companies get their grimy hands on the website HackerNews and post their job listings. Qualifications often include being a code ninja (http://svdictionary.com/words/code-ninja) or a 10x engineer (http://svdictionary.com/words/10x-engineer) for little pay and long hours because you get equity, yo.

HackerNews: 'Who's hiring?'
Every startup: 'we are and we're the best bc of culture and stuff, yo.'

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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16

Slack

A communication tool for sending messages, files, and GIFS to coworkers, team members, etc.

Roberto: Hey Mike, did you get the TPS reports from Barbara?
Mike: Nah hombre, let me go slack her.
Roberto: Sounds good. Don't forget to spam the channel with GIFS that no want wants to see.
Mike: Will do!

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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3

Git

A version control system used by everybody. If you don't use it, you're probably a git.

Joe: I don't use git.
Bill: You're a git.

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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28

Stack

Refers to the variety of technologies used to build and maintain your website, app, or service. Might also refer to a large amount of pancakes.

Son: Hey pops, wanna throw another stack on my plate? Pass the syrup too.
Pops: No son, your stack needs to maintainable, don't let your code base get out of control!

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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    6 months ago
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4

Churn Rate

Refers to the speed at which you can churn butter. Interns are often graded on this criteria. Higher churn rate makes you more legit in the valley.

Intern: do I really have to churn all of this butter?
Boss: yes it is vital for our equitable stability consumer vision internet of things platform.

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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3

Exit Strategy

Plan you must devise with your employees in case a competitor starts attacking your office in an attempt to obtain your most secret information. If you care about the safety of the people you employ, it is very important that you have an exit strategy.

Employee: They're breaking the perimeter! What do we do?
Employee 2: We should give in and hand over the algorithm!
Boss Dude: NO- remember the exit strategy! Mark- prepare the flamethrower, Hillary- do you remember how to fly the helicopter?

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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5

Yottabyte

A very large number of bytes. 10^24 bytes to be exact, but this term can never be used in serious context, so it doesn't really matter.

Dude 1: Dude how much porn do you have on there?
Dude 2: Yottabytes dude.

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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