Y Combinator
A higher-order function that satisfies the "fixed point theorem"
Professor: "We have Y = [\f . (\x . f(xx) ) . (\x . f(xx)) ], that we call the Y-Combinator"
Business student: "SORRY PROFESSOR BUT YOU ARE WRONG. Y COMBINATOR IS AN INCUMBATOR OK???"
Professor: "Please calm down Michael, Paul Graham is indeed very inspired, and enthusiastic about lambda calculus but this..."
Business student: "NO HE IS THE FOUNDER OF Y-COMBINATOR, I HAVE PROOFS"
Professor: "Sigh."
freefunctor over 9 years agoMongoDB
It just scale.
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "Why do you think so?"
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "I see, but from a technical standpoint why do you think we should use a NoSQL database?"
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "I... I don't know what to think! How in the world did you graduate from college?"
Engineer 1: "Hey, relational databases sucks!!! We should use MongoDB fo sho"
Engineer 2: "F@*$#@!!!"
freefunctor over 9 years agoUniversity of Toronto
A University in Toronto that does not give a single fuck about its undergraduates, and filled with over-competitive kids who think that success is a zero-sum game.
Student 1: "Hello, I am your new TA. I will be working 35 hours per week, and be payed below minimum wage." Student 2: "I think the University is abusing you" University Exec: "GTFO if you are not happy." Student 1: "Sigh. I wish I got into Waterloo" Student 2: "We all do..."
freefunctor over 9 years agoRainbow Bike Contraband
Stolen company bikes being seen riden outside of the Mountain View HQ.
I saw a group of dudes riding rainbow bike contraband through Oakland today. Yeah they're a bunch of dick programmers who thought it would be funny to steal Google bikes and ride them through the East Bay.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoElevator Pitch
An investor pitch that literally spans the time of a single elevator ride. People use this expression as a systematic way of telling founders to shut the fuck up and get to the point.
Ron spent 10 months preparing his 10 second elevator pitch. He did everything he could to get it right.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoPitch Climaxing
The orgasmic feeling one gets when completing one's pitch.
After pitching to YC and getting in I pitch climaxed so hard.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoInvestor Ambushing
Camping out in front of the exit of a speaking event or the office of an investment firm to get minimal face time with them to either pitch or set up a meeting.
Leo is shameless. He investor ambushes in Palo Alto on Tuesdays and Thursdays trying to pitch his women only dating app.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoTwitter Ghosting
Taking the identity of a friend or somewhat famous person and creating a fan Twitter account of them.
I twitter ghosted as my friend Lewis for years just writing things he'd say to me during class. My troll account of him has more follows than my own.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoData Scientist
A statistician who lives in the Bay Area.
Q: How many Data Scientists does it take to implement a Spark stack?
A: All of them, since at first they tend to have a Hive mind.
justpivot over 9 years agoDO a startup
Something wantrepenurs or new silicon valley enthusiasts say in trying to convey "working on a startup" or "starting a business."
Ryan: I graduated from business school. Lets DO a startup guys. Menlo: Get the fuck out of here. Startups aren't something you DO.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoFirestarters
Strategists and writers at online media who purposely write one side of an incredibly controversial subject to garner massive love from one side and hatred for another. This is done with the intention of getting shares.
My job writing for the New York Times opinion column prepared me perfectly for my new job as a firestarter at the Huffington Post. I just pick the most controversial stories of the past week and month and write for one side. From there you just watch the shares number increase and ignore the comments because flame wars are always the same.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoLinkedIn Endorsement Flirting
Endorsing someone your attracted to for skills they may or not have to start a form of communication between the two of you.
Sabrina: Why did you endorse Zayn for Python. You're a lawyer, you don't even code. Jess: I was endorsement flirting with him. Even though I hate coding, dudes love it when you notice their code.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoOnly New Friends
A habit alot of founders make (with exception to the people they work with) to only hang out with new people or acquaintances because their old friends are negative as shit. This is the opposite of the hip hop theme propagated by Drakes "No New Friends," track.
Steve (at home): Brad never answers my calls anymore. I bet he's having a rough time. I'm going to talk to him for 3 hours next time I see him about how bad his life probably is going to be and try to convince us to join us at Task Rabbit. Brad (at bar): Fuck Steve. Only new friends.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoNo Eeyores Rule
A rule where startups should avoid hiring people who are pessimistic, gloomy, depressed in order to prevent decreased morale.
A term first proposed by Jason Calacanis in this tweet -> https://twitter.com/Jason/status/627907240037519360
Employee #1: Jack I really don't think you should hire chris because you know no Eeyores rule.
Nontechnical CEO: Cool. Let's look for another engineer unicorn.
svhunt over 9 years agoTo Get Eduardofucked
Getting your equity diluted, while thinking that no one in the company hates you enough to fuck you over. This happened to a Facebook founder, Eduordo Saverin, by Mark Zuckerberg and Sean Parker. Goes under Zuckerberging and pretty much why he sued the fuck out of Facebook and Mark later on.
Let's Eduardofuck a bunch of Stanford MBAs who can do marketing and who don't know how cap tables work. We can promise them dilutable common stock and save a ton of money.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoEquity Dilution
Think of a share as a small unit of ownership in a company. When your shares are unprotected their value is dependent on factors outside your control, such as how many other shares are being distributed to other people. Equity dilution is when these factors decimate the value of your ownership.
Even though Ron was a graduate of the Haas School of Business, he did not know what equity dilution was, so after a year of working at a Stanford student's startup, he lost all the control that he thought he would have.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoCap Table
Pretty much just lays out the founder's and investor's percentage of ownership, equity dilution, and value of equity in each round of investment.
I sometimes hate raising money because of all the shifty things investors try to do to fuck founders on the cap table instead of trying to look for terms that benefit both sides and the company.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoRecreational Cyber Team Building
Playing a MOBA or online FPS on the same team to increase trust between one another.
Our office had a Recreational Cyber Team Building hour at work. I discovered everyone at the office sucks at video games.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoCompiler
Basically converts your source code ("think of these as your commands") into an executable program that you use.
My compiler ran my python code and now allows me to see the amount of time between whatever 2 dates that I input. I call it Day Span.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoMarketecture
A set of powerpoint slides that visually represent a product or software architecture in such a beautiful way but it really hasn't been built or tested just yet.
Wow what a great presentation and a real great idea, here is $20M. We hope the product they just presented isn't just Marketecture....ie. Marketing+Architecture
svchris over 9 years ago
See http://svdictionary.com/words/vaporware