10

Thought Leader

How somebody without any real skills describes themselves. The phrase itself is self explanatory.

Matthew: tell us why we should hire you
Kilim: I am a thought leader in the area of SAAS
Matthew: what does that even mean
Kilim: I am a thought leader

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 5 years ago

    10

    Growth Hacking

    Growth hacking is a buzzword journalists and marketers shamelessly use to describe marketing techniques that uses internet applications in non-traditional ways. It makes the person saying it seem as if they've mastered a skill traditional marketers haven't caught on to. Although this is incredibly important aspect for startups it is pretty much a douchier way of saying marketing.

    Studying various growth hacking techniques, Jimmy decided to email a million people Dogecoins with his companies name at the bottom of the email to increase exposure.

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

      10

      I Could've Built That Fallacy

      The fallacy in which someone believes that they were capable of building something before an already more popular version of a product has come out.

      In many instances this fallacy is contained by engineers working at companies or in academia in an indirect attempt to belittle the success of founders, claiming how trivial it is to build said app. It can also be a feeble attempt to make up for their unrealized internal inferiority complex. In reality they might have been able to code it, but not conceive it's details, key features, and brand identity.

      George suffered from the I could've built that fallacy for weeks after Snapchat received an offer from Facebook for over a billion dollars in talked about acquisition. He built his own version while working at Google, but it only had 5 users. He was happy he didn't quit his day job.

      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

      10

      Erlich Bachman

      A man of the hour. He sold his company Aviato. Now, he runs an incubator out of his house which also happens to be where Pied Piper is headquartered in. He invested in a few other ideas which never came to fruition. He played a critical role in coming up with an innovative and truly disruptive dick jerk algorithm.

      In season two, he helps Richard raise a seed round by going around negging a bunch of investors.

      There's no need for an example. He is the verb, noun and the everything else that matters in this world.

      Just watch this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9_PfruyLlU enough said.

      Added by svhunt svhunt over 4 years ago

        10

        Lean Domaining

        Is a strategy used by scrappy startup founders to acquire domains from domain squatters for the lowest price possible. You email the squatter under the guise of a young boy trying to set up a website for his local church group. By using bad grammar (and just sounding dumb in general) you need to sell to the squatter how little money you have, how much hardship you are going through and how much that website will mean to your community. After selling you the domain, the squatter may read your $35m Series A on Techcrunch but that's just business.

        hey john,

        I'm new to the internet i sw that you own cars.com. my church group has made me in charge of setting up a web page. I heard that geocities would be a good place to start. u recommend perl? anyways i have $50. please help me out

        Timmy

        Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

          10

          ESports

          Video game players attempt to turn DOTA, LoL, Counter Strike, and other popular video games into a sport lost in a twilight dream that one day they can be paid large sums of money to validate their laziness.

          I didn't go to a single class this semester because my friends and I are dropping out to start a Goat Simulator ESports team.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

            10

            The Woz

            Legendary Apple Co-Founder and alumni of UC Berkeley rumored to have mystical power beyond human understanding. A lounge in UC Berkeley's Soda Hall is named after him in his honor.

            The Woz has somehow managed to outlive his co-founder Steve Jobs, who ironically cared alot more about his diet and health than he did. I wonder what he knows that the world doesn't.

            Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 4 years ago

              10

              Who's Hiring

              A once-a-month opportunity for startups and tech companies get their grimy hands on the website HackerNews and post their job listings. Qualifications often include being a code ninja (http://svdictionary.com/words/code-ninja) or a 10x engineer (http://svdictionary.com/words/10x-engineer) for little pay and long hours because you get equity, yo.

              HackerNews: 'Who's hiring?'
              Every startup: 'we are and we're the best bc of culture and stuff, yo.'

              Added by zander zander over 4 years ago

                9

                Protective Incompetence

                Being bad at something you don't like to do, so you don't have to do it.

                > I think the reason I made such a mystery of business was that I was disgusted by the idea of doing it. I wanted to work in the pure, intellectual world of software, not deal with customers' mundane problems. People who don't want to get dragged into some kind of work often develop a protective incompetence at it. Paul Erdos was particularly good at this. By seeming unable even to cut a grapefruit in half (let alone go to the store and buy one), he forced other people to do such things for him, leaving all his time free for math. Erdos was an extreme case, but most husbands use the same trick to some degree.

                http://www.paulgraham.com/start.html

                Added by adamzerner adamzerner over 4 years ago

                  9

                  Slack Overflow

                  The state of perpetual notification pinging on each of your devices as a result of participating in way too many Slack channels.

                  Alice: Why did you need to take a mental health day yesterday?
                  Bob: Slack Overflow.

                  Added by ruby32 ruby32 over 4 years ago

                    9

                    San Francisco

                    The city of San Francisco is one the most famous cities in the Bay Area, home to the SF Giants, hipsters, a thriving LGBT community, and enough fog to make you consider suicide, commonly referred to as "The City". When non Bay Area natives talk about the Bay Area, they're either talking about SF or Silicon Valley.

                    Alex: Yo man, you doing something later? It's Friday.
                    Kim: Yea I'm thinking about heading to The City later for some drinks, probably near Nob Hill or something.
                    Alex: Sounds chill. Can I come?
                    Kim: I don't know if it's your scene. The place has pretty hipster bars. They all have PBR on tap for $5 a pint.

                    Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 4 years ago

                      9

                      Solving Own Problem

                      A bullshit story founders present to lie on how they arrived at their product.

                      We built datemycate app because we wanted to solve our own problem to help our cat find a date. He was very horny all the time and was always flirty with my girlfriend.

                      Added by beenpoor beenpoor over 4 years ago

                        9

                        Y Combinator

                        A label you add to your startup's intro (if chosen) that your company exchanges 7% of protected equity to arbitrary increase your valuation with.

                        After getting accepted from Y Combinator, my 3 man team from [insert top 5 engineering school here], we launched our [insert undeveloped idea that sounds good on paper here], and raised 1.5 million dollars from Demo Day because we're changing the world.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

                        • charlesjo charlesjo

                          Possibly more valuable label than Stanford in the startup world.

                          2
                          Reply
                          over 4 years ago
                        9

                        @Username Ignore

                        When someone mentions a famous person in a semi-popular tweet, but is brutally ignored by the person they mentioned.

                        Jerry: Did you see the Sam Altman tweet, tagging Snoop Dog saying how he would've been an awesome candidate as the new CEO of reddit.

                        George: Yeah Snoop @Username Ignored him though. I feel bad for him. Really left the guy hanging.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

                          9

                          Janitor at startup

                          The title an asshole CEO (generally a sole founder) puts on their Linkedin title to show they have the ability to fire anybody.

                          Random dude: Where do you work?
                          Albert: I am at the greatest game company around called BigVikingGames
                          Random dude: Cool, what do you do there?
                          Albert: I am the janitor, I just take out the trash!
                          Random dude: cool story bro

                          Added by timferris timferris over 4 years ago

                            9

                            Work From Home

                            A synonym of "Sit at home eating chips while watching TV"

                            Chris: Hey boss. Can I work from home on Tuesday?
                            Boss: Let me know if last weeks episode is worth watching

                            Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 5 years ago

                              9

                              LilB

                              An artist and cultural icon from Berkeley, California who many regard as "the rawest rapper in the game." To many of his fans he's simply known as The BasedGod and to many's surprise, he's quite plugged into life in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley.

                              I went to the free LilB concert on the UC Berkeley campus today. We pretty much spent the night bobbing our head to his mastermind music, while doing the LilB cooking dance. It was fantastic.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

                                9

                                Unicorn

                                A startup valued at over $1 billion dollars. Also a mythical horse-like creature with a single horn on its forehead.

                                Founder 1: I'm now the proud CEO of a Unicorn after our latest Series D
                                Founder 2: Ugh, Unicorns are so 2012. It's all about the Decacorns now.

                                Added by ssc242 ssc242 over 4 years ago

                                  9

                                  Adding Wheels To A Moving Car

                                  Expecting the design or development team to scope a feature without definition or complete explanation while the product is being built.

                                  Them: "How long would it take you to add this feature to the product?"
                                  You: "I'm not sure I understand what the product and feature even is, let alone how to estimate it."
                                  Them: "Well, just give me a ballpark..."
                                  You: "That would be like adding wheels to a moving car."

                                  Added by RobotCowboy RobotCowboy over 4 years ago

                                    9

                                    Bear Goggles

                                    Similar to beer goggles, bear goggles refer to a the influence of studying at UC Berkeley on one's visual perception, whereby one slowly finds someone attractive who would not have been attractive before studying at UC Berkeley.

                                    James: What do you think about her? She's pretty hot, right?
                                    Dave: What are you on? You said she was hideous last semester. Did your optometrist prescribe you bear goggles?

                                    Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 4 years ago