zazpowered
zazpowered (900)

3

Recreational Cyber Team Building

Playing a MOBA or online FPS on the same team to increase trust between one another.

Our office had a Recreational Cyber Team Building hour at work. I discovered everyone at the office sucks at video games.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

    5

    How Do You Like Them Apples

    A dorky (and almost non-sensical) Bay Area expression often used, when Apple releases a new version of their products, in an attempt to belittle someone else's older model and mock the slow pace in which they've adopted the new product.

    Originally taken out of context from a popular scene of the film, Good Will Hunting, where Matt Damon slaps a post-it note onto a diner window proclaiming his superiority after getting a girl's phone number.

    I just got the iWatch 2 bitches. How do you like them apples?

    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

      4

      Equity Dilution

      Think of a share as a small unit of ownership in a company. When your shares are unprotected their value is dependent on factors outside your control, such as how many other shares are being distributed to other people. Equity dilution is when these factors decimate the value of your ownership.

      Even though Ron was a graduate of the Haas School of Business, he did not know what equity dilution was, so after a year of working at a Stanford student's startup, he lost all the control that he thought he would have.

      Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 almost 9 years ago

        7

        Digital Detox

        Taking a few days away from email, social media, and anything else that involves a glowing screen.
        Practicing major restraint — no Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc. for an entire weekend, or any other length of time.

        "Don't worry if you don't hear from me this weekend — I'm doing a digital detox, so I won't see your message until Monday."

        Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper almost 9 years ago

          8

          Bricked

          A piece of hardware that doesn’t function anymore because it was tampered with.
          You seriously messed up that upgrade, and now your entire device has been rendered useless.

          "I tried to install the most recent version of Windows on my old Mac, but it totally bricked the whole computer."

          Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper almost 9 years ago

            8

            Dogfooding

            When companies use their own products, often in beta, to test and work out any bugs.
            Dogfooding often results in companies catching glitches in their apps before they're released to the public.

            "They really should have dogfooded that app before they released it — there were so many bugs!"

            Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper almost 9 years ago

              7

              Irreplaceability Tipping Point

              The point in one's career in which being kept on the payroll, will costs less than firing and hiring someone to fill that same job. This is typically used to refer to engineers who've shipped a sizable amount of code making it an extreme pain to fire them and teach someone old code left by another author.

              Jack: You went to Yale, you should start your own company.
              Zeerek: Nah, as the lead engineer and part time PM on the Microsoft Bing team, I am slowly reaching the irreplaceablity tipping point of my career, in which I'll be able to show up, do minimal work, and laugh my way to the bank until I'm old and decrepit.
              Jack: I don't know whether you're lazy or incredibly smart.
              Zeerek: I like to think I'm both.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

              3

              Cap Table

              Pretty much just lays out the founder's and investor's percentage of ownership, equity dilution, and value of equity in each round of investment.

              I sometimes hate raising money because of all the shifty things investors try to do to fuck founders on the cap table instead of trying to look for terms that benefit both sides and the company.

              Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer almost 9 years ago

                3

                Acquire

                To purchase a companies assets and brand.

                Snapchat's founders refused to get acquired by Facebook because their families were already filthy rich and he knew they could weather it out and make it's value even higher.

                Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer almost 9 years ago

                4

                Aggregate

                To list material from different websites over the Internet in one place.

                There are hubdreds of news agregators on the Internet.

                Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer almost 9 years ago

                  5

                  Free OS Neutrality

                  The stance that you honestly just don't give a fuck about which Operating System is better. Just that it comes on a computer you don't have to pay for as an employee computer.

                  I was a Linux and Windows advocate all my life until Google gave me Macbook Retina. Now I abide by Free OS Neutrality.

                  Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer almost 9 years ago

                    8

                    Legacy Code

                    Legacy code is source code that relates to a no-longer supported, manufactured operating system or other computer technology.

                    To punish Lewis, the senior engineer decided to make him read and edit legacy code for an entire week.

                    Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                      4

                      alphabet

                      The parent company of Google along with a handful of other companies. You can think of Alphabet as a mega company who owns a ton of shit.

                      My friends have been making fun of me ever since Google changed its name. Being an Alphabet employee sorta sounds embarrassing for some reason.

                      Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer almost 9 years ago

                        10

                        I Could've Built That Fallacy

                        The fallacy in which someone believes that they were capable of building something before an already more popular version of a product has come out.

                        In many instances this fallacy is contained by engineers working at companies or in academia in an indirect attempt to belittle the success of founders, claiming how trivial it is to build said app. It can also be a feeble attempt to make up for their unrealized internal inferiority complex. In reality they might have been able to code it, but not conceive it's details, key features, and brand identity.

                        George suffered from the I could've built that fallacy for weeks after Snapchat received an offer from Facebook for over a billion dollars in talked about acquisition. He built his own version while working at Google, but it only had 5 users. He was happy he didn't quit his day job.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                        6

                        Snapcash

                        A feature on the popular media sharing app, Snapchat that lets you pay the same friends that you send the pictures you're too embarrassed to post on Facebook with.

                        James: I'll pay for breakfast, just SnapCash me back.

                        Lewis: Hell no, I'm jut going to use Venmo.

                        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago

                        • zazpowered zazpowered

                          Does anyone use Facebook Messenger's version of this?

                          1
                          Reply
                          almost 9 years ago
                        5

                        To Get Eduardofucked

                        Getting your equity diluted, while thinking that no one in the company hates you enough to fuck you over. This happened to a Facebook founder, Eduordo Saverin, by Mark Zuckerberg and Sean Parker. Goes under Zuckerberging and pretty much why he sued the fuck out of Facebook and Mark later on.

                        Let's Eduardofuck a bunch of Stanford MBAs who can do marketing and who don't know how cap tables work. We can promise them dilutable common stock and save a ton of money.

                        Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 almost 9 years ago

                          3

                          Accelerator

                          A term given to startup incubators that promise new startups connections, advice, and office space in exchange for percentage ownership of a company.

                          Ron: We're already getting 150,000 users a day

                          Wes: Why do people even use accelerators anyway? They're glorified cheerleaders.

                          Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer almost 9 years ago

                            13

                            Zombie Startup

                            VC funded companies that don't close their doors after funding runs out, but also does not grow significantly. They typically generate enough revenues to continue business, but the VC is unable to divest. As a result, the company tends to shed all of its brainpower and continues to operate as a brainless zombie for many years.

                            All of the engineering talent has left the company. What's left is a zombie startup that should continue to operate, but nobody's ever going to make money there.

                            Added by ttitus ttitus almost 9 years ago

                            6

                            Linkedin

                            A publicly-traded spam-bot and click-bait machine. It will steal your contacts info and transmit spam to you and your contacts in perpetuity. The 'Unsubscribe' link in the email is only a placeholder. LinkedIn engineers deliberately did not code any action into the link click, because Fuck You!
                            Compelled by the torrent of spam, you will login to the web interface/app and have your news feed bombarded with Grade A click-bait from famous internet trolls such as Business Insider.

                            I recently signed up on LinkedIn and now my 100GB inbox is #reckt.

                            Added by That_Guy That_Guy almost 9 years ago

                            • blwinters blwinters

                              Best thing I've read on SVD.

                              1
                              Reply
                              almost 9 years ago
                            • charlesjo charlesjo

                              Whoever wrote this definition, please endorse me.

                              1
                              Reply
                              almost 9 years ago
                            6

                            Uber Funded

                            When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

                            Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

                            Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

                            Zayne: Right...congrats?

                            Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 almost 9 years ago