CUI
Coding under the influence.
Last Tuesday, Jeremy decided to code from a bar near his house instead of going to work. His code was very sloppy so the PM on the team gave him a CUI warning.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoAcquihire
When a startup is bought with the sole purpose of hiring the startup's employees versus obtaining the product/users. Generally, startups that get acquhired are struggling and the move is done as a last resort.
Alex: I heard your startup got acquired by Facebook. Give me some of that startup money.
John: It was an acquihire. I don't want to talk about it.
zazpowered over 9 years agoPintern
A title interns at the company Pinterest give themselves when joining the company for an internship.
Along with the intellectual prestige that goes along with working at a brand named company like this, it's mostly used to make the intern feel cute/happy go lucky.
Vanessa: I interned at Microsoft in Seattle this year on the Bing team. It was pretty sweet. Whad you do Pete? Pete: I'm GLAD you asked Vanessa! I was a PINTERN this summer. I'd go to my work in my pajamas and drink hot cocoas all day, while developing some pretty pintresting stuff. Vanessa: Fantastic...
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoStartup T-shirts
When you combine poor college students, too lazy to do laundry with free startup branded t-shirts you get the greatest growth hack in Silicon Valley. It's a win win for everybody.
Chris: You realize by wearing that Dropbox t-shirt you are providing free advertising for them right?
Kilim: I have nothing else to wear though.
zazpowered over 9 years ago*Insert Company Name Here* Happy Hour
We will give you free booze to browse our app, have a positive impression of us, and meet other people doing the same thing.
You should come to our Product Hunt Happy Hour early this Thursday. There's normally a line wrapping around the building.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoRebillionizing
To renter the 3 comma club. Made popular by Russ Hanneman on Silicon Valley.
Russ: Due to some bad investments I joined the 2 comma club but Pied Piper will help me rebillionize shortly
https://youtu.be/xzMUrB-Um1Y?t=92
zazpowered over 9 years agoSteve Jobs
The subject of Hollywood biopics and Silicon Valley biographies for the next couple decades. People on the internet (computer programmers in particular) complain about they are after paying money to see it.
He is also the founder of Apple Computer and Pixar Inc.
Hey Jimmy I'm sad because every Steve Jobs movie I watch is the same thing.
Let's watch Jurassic World instead because Dinosaurs.
- YOUNG STEVE JOBS DOING PSYCHIADELICS
- HE'S BACK FROM INDIA (WOAH HOW RANDOM HES A VEGETARIAN NOW)
- STEVE JOBS LOOKING AT STEVE WOZNIAK WITH HIS MOUTH WATERING ABOUT HOW HE CAN SELL WHAT WOZ IS BUILDING
- STEVE JOBS HAS AN ILLIGENTIAMTE CHILD (WOAH HE NAMES THE COMPUTER AFTER IT LATER?!)
- STEVE JOBS YELLS AT SOME GUY WHO PROBABLY DOESN'T DESERVE IT. SOME GUY GETS MAD AT STEVE JOBS SAYING HE'S OUT OF LINE
- STEVE JOBS HIRES THE CEO OF PEPSI (DO YOU WANT TO SELL SUGAR WATER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WOAH HOW COOL)
- STEVE JOBS IS FIRED AND SCREAMS WHILE DRIVING HIS CAR HOME
- STEVE JOBS STARTS ANOTHER COMPANY AND ACTS LIKE A SMUG BASTARD WHEN THE COMPANY IS DOING SHITTY
- STEVE JOBS GOES BACK TO THE COMPANY AND IT DOES WELL (DISCREETLY ALLUDE TO THE IPOD)
- THROW IN SOMETHING ABOUT CALLIGRAPHY, WOZ EATING A HOTDOG, AND SOME DRAMATIC QUOTES TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT AND FADE TO BLACK
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoBusiness Hour
When you go to a happy hour with the only intention to network with people that might invest in you or promote your startup.
Rachel: That dude has been talking to Ryan Hoover this whole time. I know a Product Hunt feature is nice but I thought this was a happy hour not a business hour.
zazpowered over 9 years agoThe Incompetence Interview
Pretending to be someone who doesn't know shit, in an attempt to see how well someone is at explaining things.
Jessica did an incompetence interview on Lando asking her to teach him some basic Ruby on Rails concepts. He didn't know how to even open his terminal.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoCaching Out
Day dreaming about old memories and fantasies.
This can also mean "to get black out drunk."
The morning dev meetings are so fucking boring. I always end up caching out thinking about the times in college where I'd ditch class to play basketball.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoStartup Dementor
Someone in an early company whose prescience is so negative and soul sucking that nearly every happy memory you've had when with them dissipates.
Dementors originiate as fictional creatures that guard a wizard prison in the Harry Potter series
Ronald and Perry are startup dementors who help destroy the early companies they join with their consistent negativity and thoughtless criticism.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoSME
Subject Matter Expert.
Steve is the SME for the Matlab project. Talk to him for guidance on that.
slushieman over 9 years agoRide Sharing Tension
The tension a user of Uber Pool or Lyft Line feels when they feel obligated to make small talk with other passengers.
"Shit he's right next to me. Do I need to talk to him? It's already been 5 minutes since he got into the car though. Dammit I'm using regular Uber next time."
zazpowered over 9 years agoEquity Dilution
Think of a share as a small unit of ownership in a company. When your shares are unprotected their value is dependent on factors outside your control, such as how many other shares are being distributed to other people. Equity dilution is when these factors decimate the value of your ownership.
Even though Ron was a graduate of the Haas School of Business, he did not know what equity dilution was, so after a year of working at a Stanford student's startup, he lost all the control that he thought he would have.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoGenius
Someone who works at an Apple Genius Bar to fix and teach you how to use your Macbooks and iPhones
Added by
zazpowered over 9 years agoAirbnb
A website for people to rent out lodging. An example of a dumb sounding idea that turned out really well.
VC: So let me get this straight. A stranger will come into your house and sleep on an air mattress? and then you will give them breakfast? and you think it will be worth $25 billion one day? I know the market is really hot for founders right now but you need to do something else.
zazpowered over 9 years agoMike Judge
Saving our country from itself since Idiocracy.
Patron Saint of all SV ludicrousness. Evidence: http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2356389/top-10-silicon-valley-quotes-minimum-viable-product
svbiz over 9 years ago
@alphabet
A dad and self-proclaimed geek that lives in Cleveland, OH. Owns the @alphabet Twitter handle. Will soon become rich.
Guy 1: This guy's just a geeky dad on Twitter. Guy 2: No, he's @alphabet and will earn more money in one day than you've earned in an entire year.
Original Jared over 9 years agoHe's also a fan of the Cleveland Browns. Dads in Pittsburgh are geeks.
Fry's Electronics
If Costco tried to create the Apple Store...
Fry's Electronics is less dangerous than Game Stop but creepier than to Best Buy.
charlesjo over 9 years ago
Wyle E. Coyote is a super genius.