Hardware Engineer
A generally hardworking engineer who works on designing and building physical products after years of dedication to a certain field.
Mistakes they make are very costly since they can't recompile or release a hotfix
Software engineer: I always wanted to do hardware but I heard it is tough Hardware engineer: If it was easy it would be called easyware!
Mrandrewandrade over 9 years agoPre-Revenue
The purist form of startup. A startup that is valued for billions of dollars without recording any sales revenue. Typically, less revenue demonstrates a higher valuation by "Early Stage Investors"
Investor: 'What's your revenue model?'
Founder: 'At the moment, we are pre-revenue...we are focused on user acquisition and securing a unicorn valuation for our Series A'
healpay over 9 years agoIncredible opportunity
White lie to claim that an unknown number of users are having sleepless nights dreaming of your idea.
This is an incredible opportunity to make a difference in the life horny males by providing them a life sized doll.
beenpoor over 9 years agoFollow Marketing
When an individual using their own account or their business account follows customers on Twitter with the intention of getting them to view their profile and see their sales pitch.
In an attempt to kick start the awareness of his new protein powder made from peanuts and edible soap, Jack decided to do follow marketing, following every bodybuilder he could in hopes that they would check his Twitter profile to see his buy 1 get 2 free special.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoMoleskine
The third magical tool in the Silicon Valley (more San Francisco) designer tool box.
A total poser. He had a MBP and iPhone. Even a decent tat. But he didn't have a Moleskine. That's what gave it away that he wasn't a real serious UX Designer.
charlesjo over 9 years ago@chipchop I like Moleskine but want to see more challengers in this sector.
@charlesjo create one and launch a kickstarter. I'll buy it
@zazpowered great idea! :)
Shallow Alto
Another name for Palo Alto, denoting how shallow and superficial many (but not all) of it's inhabitants are.
Winston: Stanford is so much better than Cal. We're higher ranked and our football team actually wins games. The people who go to your school are plebeians. Steve: Oh yeah! Well... Winston: I like how your school spends so much of my taxpayer money on that pathetic group of children you call a football team. Your stadium can't cover up how much they suck. Steve: Just get outta here man. Go back to Shallow Alto. We got heart here. Winston: Sleeping on the floor and smoking weed all day doesn't mean you guys have heart. Steve: Get back to Shallow ALTO man!!! Just because we don't get sexually aroused every time we see someone driving a nice car, pay higher prices for shitty property, and judge others solely for their wealth and education doesn't make us any worse.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoStartup Social Worth
When your Silicon Valley social worth is based on which startups you have founded or work at.
Sidecar Employee at bar: There are so many Uber employees here. I have no chance with these women
zazpowered over 9 years agoCollege Dropout
A complete wildcard. They are either genius level smart or are biting off more they can chew. In the case of the latter, they have either watched too many Peter Thiel talks that didn't apply to them, watched The Social Network more than 2 times, or are not familiar with the terms on this website.
Like I used to go to Davis, but now I'm a college dropout. It's just that school was holding me back you know? Like Zuck in the Social Network, I'm just way smarter than everyone and girls don't get me. I got my iPod on Kanye West's College Dropout album too cuz that's what I relate too and he's pretty much singing about me.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoThe Macbook Selfie
A selfie one takes on his or her own macbook normally out of laziness or vanity.
I was sorta attracted to Mark, but after adding him on Facebook and seeing his Macbook selfie profile picture in a dimly lit disgustingly messy room, I'm sorta of repulsed by him.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoMarketroid
The smooth-talking member of the marketing department who signs up users by promising that the next version of the product will have features which are unplanned, extremely difficult to implement, and/or in violation of the laws of physics. By Thursday.
Dave: Did you see that Tom promised the client that end-to-end encryption would be in the next release?!
Larry: But we don't control the user's operating system - how is that even possible?
Steve: Somebody better give that marketroid a crash course in reality.
doctorgee over 9 years agoKorean
Ethnic subgroup common in Silicon Valley.
In the workplace they tend to be more nepotistic, viewing other Korean engineers more favorably. They are also split by generational divides; Korean born engineers and American Born Korean Engineers interact rarely.
Among Korean born engineers imported from abroad, hierarchical attitudes can be common. Emphasis is placed on age, company ranking and salary.
"The Koreans are going out again." "Why don't they ever invite us along?" "Don't worry about it man, they're always up to some secret Korean shit."
koreanfuckboy over 9 years ago
Tech Lobbyist
A person whose job it is to lobby for big tech corporations like Google, Facebook, Apple, etc. Their work increasingly involves pushing congress and local government to enact laws that they barely understand anyway dealing with topics like cyber security, dragnet surveillance, and online constitutional issues.
After finishing school at Berkeley, Jim became a tech lobbyist for Facebook approving laws with technical jargon that most congressmen aren't familiar with anyway.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoWith the FTC breathing down its neck, Google has stepped up its lobbying spend in the last year, shelling out $4.03 million in 2009. That's up 44% from the year prior. Despite the growth, Google's lobbying spend remains relatively small. Microsoft spent $6.7 million in 2009. Comcast spent $12.6 and AT&T spent $14.7 million. We decided to take a look at lobbying from tech companies after we ran a chart looking at ad spending for tech companies. (For what it's worth, Google's lobbying is half what it spends on advertising.) Our lobbying data comes from the Senate Office of Public Affairs database. We also graphed lobbying spend as a percent of revenue. Interestingly, of the companies we looked at, ebay spends the least on lobbying as percent of revenue. Guess that's the advantage of not dominating any market, other than mp3 players
sorry ..... correction ( in above comment istead of apple it was mistyped as ebay)
Uninstalled
Fired or laid off.
"Jeff was here last week, but he was uninstalled on Monday."
iamDeveloper over 9 years agoAlternative usage is to show the world what great taste you have about apps. "I had to uninstall Yahoo Weather. Graphics overdone."
Hipsterpreneur
A person that sits frequently in hi-design coffee bistros, that claims to be changing the world with his big eco-friendly & non-scalable idea.
While in reality this harmless, cobweb-bearded, latte-sipping, fixie-cycling creature camps out days on end, in mood-light-coffee-bistros leeching on free wifi and lemon water without having a remote clue of what it actually takes to hustle and hack his way to a MVP and beyond.
Added by
Abologic over 9 years agoHipsterpreneur: Hashtag MVP. Hashtag unicorn. Friend/Interventionist: Dude, you got biscotti on your beard.
Necessity is the Mother of Invention
A outlook describing how a founder's untapped creative wealth comes to life when put in perilous (and sometimes self-inflicted) situations.
Jim: I've spent all my investment money on t-shirts and shot glasses. How am I going to raise another round and pay my engineer's salary.
Lewis: Relax, they say necessity is the mother of invention. Let's take more shots out of these glasses you bought.
Jim: In the time it took you to finish that sentence, I found a new renewable energy source.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoAuthority Wizard
Someone who is an authority in a chosen field and is able to use his or her special knowledge and powers to transform others into authority figures.
T. Allen Hanes, an Authority Wizard graduates another class of authors.
Escalante almost 9 years agoTo Compile
When your machine is assembling the information and commands you've written. If there are no errors that prevent this from happening, your program is normally ready to be tested.
Matt: No errors! My code compiles. This shit works. Zeeshan: Let's pistol ship it and call it a day.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoWikipedia Kid
That co-worker who doesn’t really know the job, but pretends to by just slapping together everyone else’s contributions.
Illustration of a Wikipedia Kid (from “The IT Crowd”):
Mr Reynholm (the big boss): Jen, did I just see you googling “IT manager”?
Jen (the IT manager): Um…
doctorgee over 9 years agoLemming Clicker
Someone who will click on any link they are sent, often happily entering their banking passwords as well.
Dave: So how do we leverage our mailing database to drive adoption?
Larry: We could email them an invitation link.
Steve: That will get the lemming clickers, but the majority won't click through.
doctorgee over 9 years ago
I was about to fall to the hype and get one. They are pretty overpriced