Silly Web App
How people like to describe what a lot of what engineers in silicon valley build. They are sometimes right and sometimes wrong but in either case they are sitting on their asses doing nothing themselves.
Kilim: What the hell is Silicon Valley dictionary. Stop making silly web apps
Matthew: Stop watching tv
zazpowered over 9 years agoFailing Up
When obviously incompetent, uninspired, or undeserving employees are promoted, even when they openly fail for all to see. Inexplicably, this often occurs at the exact same time others around them are busting their ass to deliver for the company.
Just relax - the dumber you are, the better you'll do.
Person A: "How did Matt get that promotion? The guy hasn't written a line of meaningful code in over 6 months, all he does is write IRC robots that display cheesy GIFs when people are chatting about the size, shape, or length of something." Person B: "I know, he's failing up - I only wish I had it in me to be so carefree and incompetent."
csuwildcat over 9 years agoMilestone
Common term used to communicate between founders and investors the goals they intend on passing. Milestones are sometimes used in determination for future funding worth.
Draymond's company passed all it's milestones so the investors were happy to write him a check for the next round.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoZombie Mode
A state of minimal eye or head movement while looking at a phone. Frequently observed during your morning commute to work on BART, subway or bus. If you look up once in a while to observe your surroundings you are not in zombie mode.
Jason: Hey do you see that guy sitting over there. That's my dad. Why is taking the bus right now.
Tim: Sorry say that again. I wasn't listening
zazpowered over 9 years agoGenius
Someone who works at an Apple Genius Bar to fix and teach you how to use your Macbooks and iPhones
Added by
zazpowered over 9 years ago
Mike Judge
Saving our country from itself since Idiocracy.
Patron Saint of all SV ludicrousness. Evidence: http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2356389/top-10-silicon-valley-quotes-minimum-viable-product
svbiz over 9 years agoPostmates Shame
When you order Postmates from the same place two nights in a row, and get the same courier
me: i got postmates shamed. can you get the food instead?
roommate: sure
orien about 9 years agoembarassing....
The Steve Jobs Diet
A dietary regimen containing mostly fruits, nuts, seeds, vegetables and grains with a higher to average ratio of apples and carrots. Absolutely no animal products.
I decided to go on the Steve Jobs Diet because Steve is my icon. That's why there are only apples and carrots in the house.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoThotline Bling
When a girl or guy you barely know likes your picture or sends you a message indicating they're interested in a booty call, but it'll probably never happen cuz you barely know each other and you're both too lazy to act on it.
I know when thotline bling, it could only mean nothing.
yungsnuggie about 9 years ago@alphabet
A dad and self-proclaimed geek that lives in Cleveland, OH. Owns the @alphabet Twitter handle. Will soon become rich.
Guy 1: This guy's just a geeky dad on Twitter. Guy 2: No, he's @alphabet and will earn more money in one day than you've earned in an entire year.
Original Jared over 9 years agoHe's also a fan of the Cleveland Browns. Dads in Pittsburgh are geeks.
I Only Invest In "X"
Either it's true, the investor is not interested enough in your pitch to take a risk and go outside his or her comfort zone, or both.
Dan: I built a sick SAAS app that get's 20 users a month on subscription. Mrs. Investor: Sorry I only invest in Social apps that are growing at a 15% rate every 17 days.
yungsnuggie about 9 years agoCaching Out
Day dreaming about old memories and fantasies.
This can also mean "to get black out drunk."
The morning dev meetings are so fucking boring. I always end up caching out thinking about the times in college where I'd ditch class to play basketball.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoEquity Dilution
Think of a share as a small unit of ownership in a company. When your shares are unprotected their value is dependent on factors outside your control, such as how many other shares are being distributed to other people. Equity dilution is when these factors decimate the value of your ownership.
Even though Ron was a graduate of the Haas School of Business, he did not know what equity dilution was, so after a year of working at a Stanford student's startup, he lost all the control that he thought he would have.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoDelivery
One of the species of apps that keep getting made. They're really just digitized indexes of local businesses that market their service really well, get cheap couriers, and establish good partnerships with local vendors. They're not quite scalable, but many have become profitable parts of their community (DoorDash, WeDeliver). It is estimated that every year:
Hundreds of thousands of variants of delivery apps are pitched
Thousands are built to an MVP
A couple hundred end up creating a sustainable business around delivering things faster at a local scale
Anna: So what do you do for a living Josh?
Joshua: Oh I own DeliverData, a Delivery app that delivers stuff faster
Anna: That's nifty! At least your company's name makes sense
willgr81 over 8 years agoGame Developer
A software engineer in the game industry, generally bigger, earns less and is nerdier than their startup counterparts.
Kilim: I wanna work for Blizzard so I can help build WoW and Diablo
Matthew: Do you really want to be a game developer?
zazpowered over 9 years agoFree Swag Wardrobe
Switching between two pairs of pants per month and an assortment of free career fair company tshirts on a daily basis. This cuts costs for the wearer and makes them look like their employed (or on the path to being).
Ryan: Why are your shirts all XXL. Laura: Rockin' my free swag wardrobe this month. Ryan: Get it together! Laura: Nah, a Google recruiter approached me when he saw my Twitter shirt. I have second round interview next week. Ryan: Laziness pays off I guess...
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoStartup Dementor
Someone in an early company whose prescience is so negative and soul sucking that nearly every happy memory you've had when with them dissipates.
Dementors originiate as fictional creatures that guard a wizard prison in the Harry Potter series
Ronald and Perry are startup dementors who help destroy the early companies they join with their consistent negativity and thoughtless criticism.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoTwo Comma Club
Having an income or net worth that is equal to or greater than $1,000,000. This income or net worth generates a number that requires two commas and therefore puts the person into exclusive status as a high income earner or wealthy individual.
John sold his company for $2,000,000 and joined the two comma club. Reference: http://www.twocommaclub.com/definition-of-two-comma-club/
sellingstock about 9 years agoMilitary Artifical Intelligence
Plain and simple: Weapons that adapt. They aren't robots per se, just weapons that attack and make calculations based on key information.
Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking are among those calling for a ban on military AI as that they could set off a revolution in weaponry comparable to gunpowder and nuclear arms
yungsnuggie over 9 years agonice representation of valley's current stance on AI
Stealth Mode
A startup that is a phase of secrecy in which they don't reveal what they actually do in an attempt to ward off potential competition.
Zeeshan What do you do?
Steve: I'm in a startup.
Zeeshan: What do you guys do?
Steve: I can't tell you. We're in stealth mode.
Zeeshan: That's dumb.
yungsnuggie over 9 years ago
Wyle E. Coyote is a super genius.