Startup Social Worth
When your Silicon Valley social worth is based on which startups you have founded or work at.
Sidecar Employee at bar: There are so many Uber employees here. I have no chance with these women
zazpowered over 9 years agoTwitter is an online microblog social network for venture capitalists and founders to help each other use iPhones and accessorize so they can report sport scores in real-time, review movies, and advise startups.
Sometimes referred to as “Tinder for Bromance.”
Leading by example for keeping burn rates low, Andreesen Horowitz appears to be running it's entire firm on Twitter as office communication and as a productivity tool. Many economists use the platform to argue about unprovable economic theories. Twitter is also an affiliate marketing teaser platform for New York Times and Wall Street Journal.
charlesjo over 9 years agoThe Macbook Selfie
A selfie one takes on his or her own macbook normally out of laziness or vanity.
I was sorta attracted to Mark, but after adding him on Facebook and seeing his Macbook selfie profile picture in a dimly lit disgustingly messy room, I'm sorta of repulsed by him.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoKorean
Ethnic subgroup common in Silicon Valley.
In the workplace they tend to be more nepotistic, viewing other Korean engineers more favorably. They are also split by generational divides; Korean born engineers and American Born Korean Engineers interact rarely.
Among Korean born engineers imported from abroad, hierarchical attitudes can be common. Emphasis is placed on age, company ranking and salary.
"The Koreans are going out again." "Why don't they ever invite us along?" "Don't worry about it man, they're always up to some secret Korean shit."
koreanfuckboy over 9 years agoTech Lobbyist
A person whose job it is to lobby for big tech corporations like Google, Facebook, Apple, etc. Their work increasingly involves pushing congress and local government to enact laws that they barely understand anyway dealing with topics like cyber security, dragnet surveillance, and online constitutional issues.
After finishing school at Berkeley, Jim became a tech lobbyist for Facebook approving laws with technical jargon that most congressmen aren't familiar with anyway.
yungsnuggie over 9 years ago
Poaching
When someone invites you to have an informal one on one meeting with them, with the implicit understanding that they are trying to recruit you to his or her company. This almost always done when someone is working at another company.
This is my poaching strategy, George: When we're at lunch, I'll be super friendly to the person I'm inviting. We won't even TALK about work for the first 20 minutes. If my work comes up I'll tell them how awesome everything's going and how we're growing at an absurd rate. Then I'll ease into the conversation asking how work is going at their company. As SOON as they start to say something negative about their current working experience I'll ask them more about it and sympathize with them. I'd tell them that we'd love to have them on our team and after that I'll offer to pay the bill. Finally, I'll invite them to my office, "just to check it out." From there 95% of the work is done and we just start talking about dates they could possibly join in. It's all casual though. If they want to move, this is the opportunity they'll normally seize.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoScalable
A term used by startups that aren't profitable, but say they are this to sound potentially profitable.
Investor: Is your startup profitable? What's the revenue since launch? Founder: We're not profitable, but we're scalable. We plan to scale up and then focus on revenue streams.
Original Jared over 9 years agoStartup Lifestylers
People who get into the startup scene just for the "rock star" lifestyle.
Jaime spends all his funding throwing parities and buying company swag. He's just a startup lifestyler.
HalfLife3 over 9 years agoShaving Yaktoseconds
An amalgam of "yak shaving" and "shaving yoctoseconds". This line is commonly mistranscribed as "shaving yoctoseconds".
"Yoctoseconds" - Second smallest unit of time, above the Planck time.
"Yak shaving" - A term often used by programmers to mean a chain of useless activity that is prerequisite to a desired task. Can also mean intentional non-essential procrastination.
References:
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/yak_shaving
http://programmers.stackexchange.com/questions/34775/correct-definition-of-the-term-yak-shaving
The line in the show could be interpreted as the team toiling away at even the most miniscule and seemingly-useless tasks to achieve tiny speed improvements.
"We're about shaving yaktoseconds off latency for every layer in the stack." -Gilfoyle
derek9458 over 9 years agoHow Do You Like Them Apples
A dorky (and almost non-sensical) Bay Area expression often used, when Apple releases a new version of their products, in an attempt to belittle someone else's older model and mock the slow pace in which they've adopted the new product.
Originally taken out of context from a popular scene of the film, Good Will Hunting, where Matt Damon slaps a post-it note onto a diner window proclaiming his superiority after getting a girl's phone number.
I just got the iWatch 2 bitches. How do you like them apples?
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoSlack Hit-and-Run
When a coworker joins your team's slack channel, posts a link, and leaves before anyone can say anything.
joe 4:30pm
joe 4:30pm
joe 4:30pm
jerry 4:30pm
toby 4:30pm
jerry 4:30pm
joined #channel
http://funnylink.com/risky-click
left #channel
quality hit and run
huh.
semi-not-appropriate-for-work tho
jzboch over 9 years agoHipster Designer Fallacy
The mistaken belief that good designers must be hipsters or look like hipsters.
Tim: So there's this really great designer I am interviewing. He has a really nice portfolio and seems like a sharp dude but he doesn't have oversized black rimmed glasses or a scarf. Do you think he will be any good?
Rachel: Hmm. I wouldn't risk it.
zazpowered over 9 years agoUniversity of Toronto
A University in Toronto that does not give a single fuck about its undergraduates, and filled with over-competitive kids who think that success is a zero-sum game.
Student 1: "Hello, I am your new TA. I will be working 35 hours per week, and be payed below minimum wage." Student 2: "I think the University is abusing you" University Exec: "GTFO if you are not happy." Student 1: "Sigh. I wish I got into Waterloo" Student 2: "We all do..."
freefunctor over 9 years agoGrad School Scapegoat Purgatory
The situation in which one purposely enrolling into grad school with the intention of delaying the inevitable fate of getting a job or starting a company.
Lewis: I enjoyed my time at UCLA so much that I decided to go to grad school?
Jack: Do you plan on going into resarch?
Lewis: Well no. I just want to chill and be in grad school scapegoat purgatory for awhile.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoMedium Self-Help
A genre of of Medium articles aiming to simultaneously enrich the readers lives and indirectly boost a first-time writers confidence and popularity.
They can range from articles on how to have better relationships with the people around them to how to handle startup stress. Normally everything is anecdotal and nothing is really verifiable.
Zeeshan: Check out my new medium article, "How to Passion Your Way to Success."
Matt: That title...what does it even mean? 50 retweets already?
Zeeshan: Nobody knows what it means. But it's provocative!
Matt: What...
Zeeshan: It gets the people going.
yungsnuggie over 9 years agoMoleskine
The third magical tool in the Silicon Valley (more San Francisco) designer tool box.
A total poser. He had a MBP and iPhone. Even a decent tat. But he didn't have a Moleskine. That's what gave it away that he wasn't a real serious UX Designer.
charlesjo over 9 years agoI was about to fall to the hype and get one. They are pretty overpriced
@chipchop I like Moleskine but want to see more challengers in this sector.
@charlesjo create one and launch a kickstarter. I'll buy it
@zazpowered great idea! :)
Lemming Clicker
Someone who will click on any link they are sent, often happily entering their banking passwords as well.
Dave: So how do we leverage our mailing database to drive adoption?
Larry: We could email them an invitation link.
Steve: That will get the lemming clickers, but the majority won't click through.
doctorgee over 9 years agoI want advice
What startup founders will tell VCs when they really want funding but don't want to ask directly because they think they will be shot down right away.
John: Hey Marc Andreessen. We have this new app that's like Vine except the videos are 10 seconds long because we think that's more optimal. I would like some advice.
Marc: Do you really want advice or are you just here for funding? I prefer when people are direct.
John: Sorry we really just wanted funding.
Marc: No
pygmyknight over 9 years agoMarketecture
A set of powerpoint slides that visually represent a product or software architecture in such a beautiful way but it really hasn't been built or tested just yet.
Wow what a great presentation and a real great idea, here is $20M. We hope the product they just presented isn't just Marketecture....ie. Marketing+Architecture
svchris over 9 years ago
With the FTC breathing down its neck, Google has stepped up its lobbying spend in the last year, shelling out $4.03 million in 2009. That's up 44% from the year prior. Despite the growth, Google's lobbying spend remains relatively small. Microsoft spent $6.7 million in 2009. Comcast spent $12.6 and AT&T spent $14.7 million. We decided to take a look at lobbying from tech companies after we ran a chart looking at ad spending for tech companies. (For what it's worth, Google's lobbying is half what it spends on advertising.) Our lobbying data comes from the Senate Office of Public Affairs database. We also graphed lobbying spend as a percent of revenue. Interestingly, of the companies we looked at, ebay spends the least on lobbying as percent of revenue. Guess that's the advantage of not dominating any market, other than mp3 players