Systems Design
Biggest joke of University of Waterloo. This is a program offered at University of Waterloo where students go to lose knowledge they already have. People in this program are believed to be so stupid that they spell SIDE as SYDE.
Person 1: Man, I am so depressed. I don't think I can go on
Person 1: Hey why is it so bright out-syde ? ( This person 1 is in Systems Design that is why he spells side as syde. What an idiot !!)
Person 2: Hey dude don't give up atleast you are not in Systems Design
Person 1: But I just got accepted in Systems Design
Person 2: Yeah, you should kill yourself
Person 2: Because people in-side are dumb
fuckSystems over 9 years agoDown Round
When you spend a borrowed $20, hit your pal up for $10 more, then wonder why your friends stop financing you.
After this, you can become a Zombie Startup [1] or write a Medium post about your Awesome Journey [2]. [1] http://svdictionary.com/words/zombie-startup
[2] http://svdictionary.com/words/awesome-journey
employeeNumbaOne over 8 years agoIncredible Journey
Game over.
We have some exciting news to share! Parse has joined forces with Facebook. It's been an incredible journey, and together we'll be able to offer -- -- lol jk, we're winding down the Parse service, and Parse will be fully retired after a year-long period ending on January 28, 2017. We're proud that we've been able to help so many of you build great mobile apps, but Facebook bought us to kill us. We're just sticking around until we're fully vested. After that, we're out. Fuck those guys.
employeeNumbaOne over 8 years agoOctocat
The mascot of Github (a revision control service programmers commonly use).
If you see someone with a Octocat tshirt, chances are they are a major nerd.
http://cssnerd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Screen-Shot-2012-09-04-at-00.02.24-600x428.png
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoReddit Alternate Identity
Being a completely different human being on Reddit than who you are in real life to escape reality.
Jim: What did you do this weekend? Bob: I explored my Reddit Alternate Identity, pretending to be a guy with a girlfriend. Jim: Woah, trippy. Wanna play some LoL? Bob: Yup.
covfefelord over 9 years agoThey Are on Fast Track to Unicorn Status
If you have to say it, 9 times out of 10 it isn't true.
One of the hottest UC Berkeley startups, BroMeNow, is looking for an entry level Full Stack Developer. I sit next to these guys at the Skylark incubator and can attest: they are wicked smart and on the fast track to unicorn status.
GoogleEngineer over 9 years agoBART
BART which stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit is a rapid transit system that services the San Francisco Bay Area. It is one of the most popular ways to get around the area as they operate 44 stations that cover a large portion of SF Bay. While safe and convenient for the most part, BART is also home to some of the most interesting characters you will find.
Tim: Why does it smell so bad in here? Did that dude just pee on the ground? Why is he taking his pants off now?
zazpowered over 9 years agothat guy is really flexible
@orien comments are saying why is nobody stopping him but I wouldn't want to fuck with somebody that athletic. especially when they are on drugs
Does anyone make money around here?
This question means different things depending on who's asking it and when.
1. When customers start asking this, the company is Pre-Revenue.
2. When investors start asking this, it's about to be a Down Round.
3. When the founders start asking this, it's been an Awesome Journey.
1: http://svdictionary.com/words/pre-revenue
2: http://svdictionary.com/words/down-round
3: http://svdictionary.com/words/awesome-journey
employeeNumbaOne over 8 years agoHousing Bubble
The artificial evolutionary mechanism which causes Silicon Valley to have a strong economy (because of the high density of wealth and talent) while simultaneously creating a permanent homeless problem.
Alicia: Hey, I'm thinking of relocating to the Bay Area. I'll be making $170K and my husband will stay at home to take care of the kids. Do you think that's enough? Diego: Hmm, well, move into a bad neighborhood, with a 2 hour commute and a shitty school district and you're cooking! Alicia: Haha, wait.... You're serious? Diego: Ohh Yea! You'll be cooking a lot too unless you want to spend $15 on a burger. Fast food employees gotta pay rent too! Thanks to this Housing Bubble
willgr81 over 8 years ago
30 Under 30
How Forbes maintains interest and increases web traffic among a younger audiences who are known to frequent their site less.
Peter: I made 30 Under 30 this year. Ryan: You're 31. Peter: Not like Forbes gives a shit or can tell the difference.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agocrude filter
An efficient way to filter quality which is not as good as the disruptive and more accurate filtering technology which is coming.
Q: What's your IQ?
A: 180
Q: That's impressive, but it won't matter soon; IQ is a crude filter for success.
jbark55 over 8 years agoStakeholder
The person in tech with all the money, and very little engineering sense.
Engineer 1: The stakeholder wants us to incorporate the "Internet of things"
Engineer 2: This is exactly why most start-ups fail...
JTMDefines about 9 years agoReal Estate
One of the species of apps that keep getting made. They're really just digitized indexes of local landlords shat onto a Google Maps visualization or optimize one or more parts of the leasing process. They're not quite scalable, but many have become profitable parts of their community. It is estimated that every year:
Hundreds of thousands of variants of Real Estate apps are pitched
Thousands are built to an MVP
A couple hundred end up creating a sustainable business around the "digital" part of the Real Estate industry
Jao-lin: So our Real Estate app oversees about $30,000 a month in leasing transactions Brian: That's actually not trollish for something like this part of the internet
willgr81 over 8 years agoVienna waits for you
When someone puts work at the expense of their personal lives to the point of extremity.
http://javatroopers.com/Peopleware.html#Chapter_3
John : Hey Bill, you looked like you aged 30 years since I last saw you. It's been a while, how goes it on your startup?
Bill : It's going OK, i've spent so much on this company that my wife left me though, I still gotta trudge on to get it out there.
John : Well Bill, Vienna waits for you.
mwang almost 9 years agoToronto / University of Toronto
The place that thinks they're the best engineering school in the True North Strong and Free, however is actually inferior especially in terms of entrepreneurship as compared to the University of Waterloo. But at the very least without us, Waterloo can't scale because at the end of the day they're still a small suburban town in the middle of nowhere.
Author of the Word - yes I attend the University of Toronto but even I know that it's worse than Waterloo when it comes to startups, tech, and innovation. Conglaturations you Waterloo engineers!
tosfan4ever over 9 years agoHustling
Refers to an act where a startup founder runs around networking with others to acquire more users/customers, raise money, etc.
Chris Sacca, Dave Mcclure loves to use this word.
Enough said, www.youtube.com/watch?v=5betFZRICVg
svhunt over 9 years agoinitial commit
After using the `git init` command, "initial commit" is the overused futile message used when committing the initial code to a repo
Person A: I just started a new project and "initial commit" seems boring
Person B: I always just use what http://whatthecommit.com/ gives me
Person A: "Copywrite Microsoft 1978" it is
Mrandrewandrade about 9 years agoIf you are actually a 10x enough dude to use a random initial commit message: git config --global alias.yolo '!git commit -m "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"' git yolo
omfg, this is gold!
Microsoft
A company built around the fact that Bob from accounting exists.
Hacker 1: Are you going to Microsoft's big data hackathon?
Hacker 2: No, winning prizes are only for those who analyse csv dumps in Microsoft Excel.
Mrandrewandrade over 9 years ago
Is this a commonly held belief?
@zazpowered yep
@zazpowered No this isn't. There is no "joke major" at Waterloo engineering/maths. SYDE is a perfectly fine program that has produced a lot of very fine engineers/entrepreneurs. OP's hate is rather bizarre.