Silly Web App
How people like to describe what a lot of what engineers in silicon valley build. They are sometimes right and sometimes wrong but in either case they are sitting on their asses doing nothing themselves.
Kilim: What the hell is Silicon Valley dictionary. Stop making silly web apps
Matthew: Stop watching tv
zazpowered almost 9 years agoZombie Mode
A state of minimal eye or head movement while looking at a phone. Frequently observed during your morning commute to work on BART, subway or bus. If you look up once in a while to observe your surroundings you are not in zombie mode.
Jason: Hey do you see that guy sitting over there. That's my dad. Why is taking the bus right now.
Tim: Sorry say that again. I wasn't listening
zazpowered almost 9 years agoMilestone
Common term used to communicate between founders and investors the goals they intend on passing. Milestones are sometimes used in determination for future funding worth.
Draymond's company passed all it's milestones so the investors were happy to write him a check for the next round.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoThe Steve Jobs Diet
A dietary regimen containing mostly fruits, nuts, seeds, vegetables and grains with a higher to average ratio of apples and carrots. Absolutely no animal products.
I decided to go on the Steve Jobs Diet because Steve is my icon. That's why there are only apples and carrots in the house.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years agoGenius
Someone who works at an Apple Genius Bar to fix and teach you how to use your Macbooks and iPhones
Added by
zazpowered over 8 years ago
Mike Judge
Saving our country from itself since Idiocracy.
Patron Saint of all SV ludicrousness. Evidence: http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2356389/top-10-silicon-valley-quotes-minimum-viable-product
svbiz almost 9 years agoShadow Ban
A term used to refer to an account on Reddit where anything associated with the account is not visible to other users but to the owner of the account nothing has changed. When the account is shadow-banned, no other users can see your posts or even your profile.
I've posted a ton of links but I am not getting any upvotes or comments. Have I been shadow banned for breaking Reddit's rules?
svhunt almost 9 years agoPostmates Shame
When you order Postmates from the same place two nights in a row, and get the same courier
me: i got postmates shamed. can you get the food instead?
roommate: sure
orien over 8 years agoembarassing....
I Only Invest In "X"
Either it's true, the investor is not interested enough in your pitch to take a risk and go outside his or her comfort zone, or both.
Dan: I built a sick SAAS app that get's 20 users a month on subscription. Mrs. Investor: Sorry I only invest in Social apps that are growing at a 15% rate every 17 days.
yungsnuggie over 8 years ago@alphabet
A dad and self-proclaimed geek that lives in Cleveland, OH. Owns the @alphabet Twitter handle. Will soon become rich.
Guy 1: This guy's just a geeky dad on Twitter. Guy 2: No, he's @alphabet and will earn more money in one day than you've earned in an entire year.
Original Jared over 8 years agoHe's also a fan of the Cleveland Browns. Dads in Pittsburgh are geeks.
Two Comma Club
Having an income or net worth that is equal to or greater than $1,000,000. This income or net worth generates a number that requires two commas and therefore puts the person into exclusive status as a high income earner or wealthy individual.
John sold his company for $2,000,000 and joined the two comma club. Reference: http://www.twocommaclub.com/definition-of-two-comma-club/
sellingstock over 8 years agoCaching Out
Day dreaming about old memories and fantasies.
This can also mean "to get black out drunk."
The morning dev meetings are so fucking boring. I always end up caching out thinking about the times in college where I'd ditch class to play basketball.
GoogleEngineer over 8 years agoFailing Up
When obviously incompetent, uninspired, or undeserving employees are promoted, even when they openly fail for all to see. Inexplicably, this often occurs at the exact same time others around them are busting their ass to deliver for the company.
Just relax - the dumber you are, the better you'll do.
Person A: "How did Matt get that promotion? The guy hasn't written a line of meaningful code in over 6 months, all he does is write IRC robots that display cheesy GIFs when people are chatting about the size, shape, or length of something." Person B: "I know, he's failing up - I only wish I had it in me to be so carefree and incompetent."
csuwildcat almost 9 years agoPremium Price
When searching for domains this is the biggest "fuck you" you can encounter. It translates to costs more than 25,000 dollars.
"This is a .CO Premium Domain Name that is available for registration at a premium price."
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoGame Developer
A software engineer in the game industry, generally bigger, earns less and is nerdier than their startup counterparts.
Kilim: I wanna work for Blizzard so I can help build WoW and Diablo
Matthew: Do you really want to be a game developer?
zazpowered almost 9 years agoFree Swag Wardrobe
Switching between two pairs of pants per month and an assortment of free career fair company tshirts on a daily basis. This cuts costs for the wearer and makes them look like their employed (or on the path to being).
Ryan: Why are your shirts all XXL. Laura: Rockin' my free swag wardrobe this month. Ryan: Get it together! Laura: Nah, a Google recruiter approached me when he saw my Twitter shirt. I have second round interview next week. Ryan: Laziness pays off I guess...
GoogleEngineer almost 9 years agoStartup Dementor
Someone in an early company whose prescience is so negative and soul sucking that nearly every happy memory you've had when with them dissipates.
Dementors originiate as fictional creatures that guard a wizard prison in the Harry Potter series
Ronald and Perry are startup dementors who help destroy the early companies they join with their consistent negativity and thoughtless criticism.
yungsnuggie over 8 years agoEquity Dilution
Think of a share as a small unit of ownership in a company. When your shares are unprotected their value is dependent on factors outside your control, such as how many other shares are being distributed to other people. Equity dilution is when these factors decimate the value of your ownership.
Even though Ron was a graduate of the Haas School of Business, he did not know what equity dilution was, so after a year of working at a Stanford student's startup, he lost all the control that he thought he would have.
HalfLife3 over 8 years agoMilitary Artifical Intelligence
Plain and simple: Weapons that adapt. They aren't robots per se, just weapons that attack and make calculations based on key information.
Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking are among those calling for a ban on military AI as that they could set off a revolution in weaponry comparable to gunpowder and nuclear arms
yungsnuggie over 8 years agonice representation of valley's current stance on AI
Stealth Mode
A startup that is a phase of secrecy in which they don't reveal what they actually do in an attempt to ward off potential competition.
Zeeshan What do you do?
Steve: I'm in a startup.
Zeeshan: What do you guys do?
Steve: I can't tell you. We're in stealth mode.
Zeeshan: That's dumb.
yungsnuggie almost 9 years ago
Wyle E. Coyote is a super genius.