13

Zero Billion

Any amount under 1 billion, rendering you off of Forbes billionaire's list, if you round down.

I'm not a billionaire anymore. I'm a nine-hundred-and-eighty-sixionaire, which isn't even a fucking thing. If you round down, I have zero billion.

Added by mczajka mczajka over 2 years ago

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13

Hockey Stick Growth

A way to describe the type of fast growth that VC likes which is up and to the right like a hockey stick. When pitched by founders, it is often accompanied by a y axis that isn't labeled or a growth percentage that doesn't include initial value.

Matthew: We experienced 1200% user growth in the past week. Our growth is as hockey stick as it gets.
Sam: How many users did you start off with.
Matthew: You know... I didn't need to take this meeting. VCs are lining up to fund me

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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13

Social Media

The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

Added by firasd firasd over 2 years ago

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13

Changing the world

Outside of Silicon Valley this can mean curing cancer, eliminating Malaria and solving world hunger but within SV it means a bigger iPhone, an iPhone the size of a tablet, an iPhone strapped to your wrist or Yo (http://techcrunch.com/2014/06/18/yo-yo/)

A synonym of "This changes everything" and "This changes everything. Again"

Founder of Silicon Valley Dictionary: I am so glad to be working on products that are changing the world everyday

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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12

Medium

A web blogging platform where independent users write out their opinions that get featured in categorized groups called "Medium Collections."

These articles don't adhere to any real journalistic standards, but are nice to read because in many instances they reaffirm your already deeply held beliefs.

I just wrote 3 articles on Medium on how starting a startup is a really difficult but worthwhile journey. It got picked up and shared by 213 Twitter users.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

12

Which Steve?

A question often posed my computer programmers who seek to make a point that Steve Wozniak could write code and Steve Jobs couldn't (making him the superior founder in their minds). It's often used to indirectly defend their own insecurities in their lack in ability to communicate with other human beings or make things that people actually want.

Erlich: When I sold my company, Aviato, I wanted to give back. That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference. You know, like Steve.
Richard: Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?
Richard: Steve Jobs or Steve...
Erlich: Oh, I heard you.
Richard: Which one?
Erlich: Jobs.
Richard: I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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12

To Pao

To have to step down from a companies executive board at the complaint of the product's core user base.

James got paod out of his company after continually getting in controversial flame wars with the companies customer base.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

12

Zombie Startup

VC funded companies that don't close their doors after funding runs out, but also does not grow significantly. They typically generate enough revenues to continue business, but the VC is unable to divest. As a result, the company tends to shed all of its brainpower and continues to operate as a brainless zombie for many years.

All of the engineering talent has left the company. What's left is a zombie startup that should continue to operate, but nobody's ever going to make money there.

Added by ttitus ttitus over 2 years ago

12

Vaporware

A piece of nothing. Generally used to describe something that is inexistent. "The snake oil of tech".

John: he got the investment without a product?
Andrew: he sold them total vaporware dude, he's not even sure what he's gonna build

Added by Cloudhamza Cloudhamza over 2 years ago

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12

IE Troll

A person who purposely uses Internet Explorer in front of others and claims that it is the superior browser on the market, to either mock another person or make it seem like they are completely incompetent.

Jack is an IE troll who gets girls to help him install chrome because he is "so bad" at using computers.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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11

Nomad

An entrepreneur or remote employee that can work and travel all around the world because the only things they need to be productive are internet and laptop.

Last year I had an amazing experience as a nomad working out of Starbucks in over 30 countries.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

11

Hunted

Your product or service has been featured on http://ProductHunt.com

Person 1: Dude! This app is sick. Did you get hunted yet?
Person 2: No. What's that?
Person 1: Never mind...

Added by Travis Travis over 2 years ago

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11

Sam Altman

The current president of Y Combinator and successor to SV investor and essayist, Paul Graham.

In his own words Paul Graham says that "Sam is one of the smartest people I know, and understands startups better than perhaps anyone I know, including myself. He's the one I go to when I want a second opinion about a hard problem."

Today he spends his time moving YC forward, dealing with the waves of entrepreneurs trying to impress him in superficial ways in an attempt to garner entry into the incubator (I once hacked a non-computer system by [insert something borderline illegal here or morally questionable, albeit pretty smart]. He tweets declarative statements about his idea of the perfect founder, similar to how a teenager would describe his or her perfect boyfriend or girlfriend (not to his own fault, it's his job), as well as tweets about how well YC is doing in general.

Sam Altman says that the best founders live in the same apartment as their co-founders so we've decided to move in together! We're even going to sleep on the same king sized bed and mention it on our app, so we'll probably get an interview for sure.

Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 2 years ago

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11

Bootstrap

Funding your startup from your own pocket money. (Because nobody will invest in it)

I don't need VC money, I have decided to bootstrap it myself. Yeah!

Added by mkagenius mkagenius over 2 years ago

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11

Imagineer

A term given to creative people employed at Pixar and Disney. When engineers say that they are imagineers, people tend to figure out they work at Pixar and a part of their soul dies after digesting what they've said.

Justin: I'm a software engineer at TubeMogul. What do you do?
Dave: Well I'm glad you asked! I'm an IMAGINEER at Pixar...wait where are you going?

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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11

Just go start a company

Common advice given in Silicon Valley due to the current rockstar status of entrepreneurs and how easy and affordable it has become to start a company. Tools like AWS, Heroku and Rails have made it easy for new developers to put up simple websites and mobile apps to validate their ideas. Online coding education such as Codecademy is getting better and becoming more commonplace. With all that said, not everyone is suited to be entrepreneur, companies need employees and being a successful entrepreneur is not as easy as it may seem based on the number of funding announcements you see on TechCrunch.

http://techcrunch.com/2014/07/20/the-problem-with-founders/

Boss: I think you have too much potential to be working here as an early employee. Just go start a company.
David: I don't really want to. The last idea I attempted was an on-demand cat walking service and it failed so badly I don't want to ever do it again.
Boss: I'll be honest. That sounds pretty bad... but I still think you should start a company.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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11

Palo Alto

Spanish for "tall tree." English for "overly priced land."

The worst part about having to move to California and begin our new software company is living in Palo Alto. I'm working out of and living in a small house I have to split with 6 other guys and we're still paying a fortune!

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

  • charlesjo charlesjo

    There's a joke: Palo Alto is a 2 exit town. It takes 2 successful venture exits to afford to live there.

    1
    Reply
    over 2 years ago
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10

Who's Hiring

A once-a-month opportunity for startups and tech companies get their grimy hands on the website HackerNews and post their job listings. Qualifications often include being a code ninja (http://svdictionary.com/words/code-ninja) or a 10x engineer (http://svdictionary.com/words/10x-engineer) for little pay and long hours because you get equity, yo.

HackerNews: 'Who's hiring?'
Every startup: 'we are and we're the best bc of culture and stuff, yo.'

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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10

Erlich Bachman

A man of the hour. He sold his company Aviato. Now, he runs an incubator out of his house which also happens to be where Pied Piper is headquartered in. He invested in a few other ideas which never came to fruition. He played a critical role in coming up with an innovative and truly disruptive dick jerk algorithm.

In season two, he helps Richard raise a seed round by going around negging a bunch of investors.

There's no need for an example. He is the verb, noun and the everything else that matters in this world.

Just watch this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9_PfruyLlU enough said.

Added by svhunt svhunt over 2 years ago

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10

Lean Startup

A startup philosophy that attempts to combine the aspects of product driven with customer driven resulting in often successful, and simultaneously mediocre apps and websites that fails to bring forth truly disruptive technology.

Bob: I've spent all day doing customer development surveys for my Uber for tutoring app.

Alice: That's nice. I just finished some testing for my needle-free vaccine delivery system.

Bob: [Walks away feeling sorry for Alice, who has no clue what his customers really want and won't be able to pivot after sinking such large R&D costs]

Added by Mcat Mcat over 2 years ago

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