10

Lean Domaining

Is a strategy used by scrappy startup founders to acquire domains from domain squatters for the lowest price possible. You email the squatter under the guise of a young boy trying to set up a website for his local church group. By using bad grammar (and just sounding dumb in general) you need to sell to the squatter how little money you have, how much hardship you are going through and how much that website will mean to your community. After selling you the domain, the squatter may read your $35m Series A on Techcrunch but that's just business.

hey john,

I'm new to the internet i sw that you own cars.com. my church group has made me in charge of setting up a web page. I heard that geocities would be a good place to start. u recommend perl? anyways i have $50. please help me out

Timmy

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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10

Just go start a company

Common advice given in Silicon Valley due to the current rockstar status of entrepreneurs and how easy and affordable it has become to start a company. Tools like AWS, Heroku and Rails have made it easy for new developers to put up simple websites and mobile apps to validate their ideas. Online coding education such as Codecademy is getting better and becoming more commonplace. With all that said, not everyone is suited to be entrepreneur, companies need employees and being a successful entrepreneur is not as easy as it may seem based on the number of funding announcements you see on TechCrunch.

http://techcrunch.com/2014/07/20/the-problem-with-founders/

Boss: I think you have too much potential to be working here as an early employee. Just go start a company.
David: I don't really want to. The last idea I attempted was an on-demand cat walking service and it failed so badly I don't want to ever do it again.
Boss: I'll be honest. That sounds pretty bad... but I still think you should start a company.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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10

Mechatronics

Waterloo's most difficult and arguably best engineering discipline. Noted by its difficult admission process, large number of top tech emloyees/startup founders and highest suicide rate (per student enrolled) in Canada

Person A: what did they guys behind the MYO at thalmic labs study?

Person B: They were the fortunate few that actually made it through Mechatronics at Waterloo without killing themselves

Person A: isn't that the same as they guys behind bufferbox and kik messenger?

Person B: Yeah, they are probably all laughing at their classmates at Google, Facebook and Apple who took offers over starting their own company.

Added by JonWilkins JonWilkins over 2 years ago

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10

Lean Startup

A startup philosophy that attempts to combine the aspects of product driven with customer driven resulting in often successful, and simultaneously mediocre apps and websites that fails to bring forth truly disruptive technology.

Bob: I've spent all day doing customer development surveys for my Uber for tutoring app.

Alice: That's nice. I just finished some testing for my needle-free vaccine delivery system.

Bob: [Walks away feeling sorry for Alice, who has no clue what his customers really want and won't be able to pivot after sinking such large R&D costs]

Added by Mcat Mcat over 2 years ago

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10

Who's Hiring

A once-a-month opportunity for startups and tech companies get their grimy hands on the website HackerNews and post their job listings. Qualifications often include being a code ninja (http://svdictionary.com/words/code-ninja) or a 10x engineer (http://svdictionary.com/words/10x-engineer) for little pay and long hours because you get equity, yo.

HackerNews: 'Who's hiring?'
Every startup: 'we are and we're the best bc of culture and stuff, yo.'

Added by zander zander over 2 years ago

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10

ESports

Video game players attempt to turn DOTA, LoL, Counter Strike, and other popular video games into a sport lost in a twilight dream that one day they can be paid large sums of money to validate their laziness.

I didn't go to a single class this semester because my friends and I are dropping out to start a Goat Simulator ESports team.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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10

MD Daydreamer

A doctor who has passive regrets on his life choices and wonders on the inside whether he or she had what it took to start his or her own business. They makes it a priority to take the opportunity to pitch patients who work in software (regardless of what company they work for) in between his or her diagnosis and sometimes at dinner parties.

I stopped going to Dr. Jacobson who is an MD Daydreamer. He always pitches me his idea for canine heart monitors that sends out tweets once a day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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9

LilB

An artist and cultural icon from Berkeley, California who many regard as "the rawest rapper in the game." To many of his fans he's simply known as The BasedGod and to many's surprise, he's quite plugged into life in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley.

I went to the free LilB concert on the UC Berkeley campus today. We pretty much spent the night bobbing our head to his mastermind music, while doing the LilB cooking dance. It was fantastic.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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9

Work From Home

A synonym of "Sit at home eating chips while watching TV"

Chris: Hey boss. Can I work from home on Tuesday?
Boss: Let me know if last weeks episode is worth watching

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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9

Solving Own Problem

A bullshit story founders present to lie on how they arrived at their product.

We built datemycate app because we wanted to solve our own problem to help our cat find a date. He was very horny all the time and was always flirty with my girlfriend.

Added by beenpoor beenpoor over 2 years ago

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9

Slack Overflow

The state of perpetual notification pinging on each of your devices as a result of participating in way too many Slack channels.

Alice: Why did you need to take a mental health day yesterday?
Bob: Slack Overflow.

Added by ruby32 ruby32 over 2 years ago

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9

Adding Wheels To A Moving Car

Expecting the design or development team to scope a feature without definition or complete explanation while the product is being built.

Them: "How long would it take you to add this feature to the product?"
You: "I'm not sure I understand what the product and feature even is, let alone how to estimate it."
Them: "Well, just give me a ballpark..."
You: "That would be like adding wheels to a moving car."

Added by RobotCowboy RobotCowboy over 2 years ago

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9

Backseat Investor

An investor who will never tell you no, but will wait for a lead investor to commit so he can take a backseat and ride the return train. They always tell you to keep them informed with your project without ever providing active help.

I thought Cody would be a generous investor after his company got acquired, but instead he's just another backseat investor waiting for a bigger fish to bite.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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9

Y Combinator

A label you add to your startup's intro (if chosen) that your company exchanges 7% of protected equity to arbitrary increase your valuation with.

After getting accepted from Y Combinator, my 3 man team from [insert top 5 engineering school here], we launched our [insert undeveloped idea that sounds good on paper here], and raised 1.5 million dollars from Demo Day because we're changing the world.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

  • charlesjo charlesjo

    Possibly more valuable label than Stanford in the startup world.

    2
    Reply
    about 2 years ago
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9

Thought Leader

How somebody without any real skills describes themselves. The phrase itself is self explanatory.

Matthew: tell us why we should hire you
Kilim: I am a thought leader in the area of SAAS
Matthew: what does that even mean
Kilim: I am a thought leader

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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9

Bear Goggles

Similar to beer goggles, bear goggles refer to a the influence of studying at UC Berkeley on one's visual perception, whereby one slowly finds someone attractive who would not have been attractive before studying at UC Berkeley.

James: What do you think about her? She's pretty hot, right?
Dave: What are you on? You said she was hideous last semester. Did your optometrist prescribe you bear goggles?

Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 2 years ago

9

Equity Whore

A startup founder that micro manages company equity to maximize his own ownership but loses sight of more important things.

David: Did you hear? I managed to negotiate that lead engineer down to 0.3%. Now I will have an extra 1%.
Sarah: Stop being such an equity whore, having a smaller piece of something is better than having a large piece of nothing.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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9

Ramen Profitable

When a startup makes enough money to pay for the founders' living expenses. To read more check out Paul Graham's post on it

Matthew: Just because it's called ramen profitable doesn't mean you need to be eating ramen all the time. There are other foods in the same price range.
Kilim: Wait I don't?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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9

I/O

A techie way of saying Input/Output.

All you really need to know is that it communicates between an information processing system, such as a computer, and the real world, possibly a human.

This is not to be confused with .IO, which is a tld people use to name their sites with because they are too lazy to negotiate for the .com.

A computer that uses memory-mapped I/O accesses hardware by reading and writing to specific memory locations. This basically means your computer will help you initiate commands with your Macbook's hardware.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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9

Janitor at startup

The title an asshole CEO (generally a sole founder) puts on their Linkedin title to show they have the ability to fire anybody.

Random dude: Where do you work?
Albert: I am at the greatest game company around called BigVikingGames
Random dude: Cool, what do you do there?
Albert: I am the janitor, I just take out the trash!
Random dude: cool story bro

Added by timferris timferris over 2 years ago

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