20

Innovator

A catch-all euphemism for "douchebag." Frequently used to a) describe one's self in a Twitter bio/LinkedIn headline or b) describe others when you're not really sure what they do exactly, but it probably has something to do with disruption or artisanal donuts or growth hacking or some shit.

Your LinkedIn headline: "Innovator/CEO of Douche, The World's First Ephemeral Craft Beer Wearable."

Added by supernovanGirl supernovanGirl almost 2 years ago

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19

Dave Ratio

It's very difficult to achieve gender parity at a startup, given the toxic culture. The next best metric, is to compare the number of men named dave, to the number of women. Reference

Alex: It's hard finding a company that has a reasonable number of women.
Kourtney: Have you tried working at a company with a 10:1 dave ratio?

Added by oakland_mike oakland_mike almost 2 years ago

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18

Technical Founder

A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.

Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

  • blog blog

    I’m a sarasota life coach & Tech Aficionado with a background in Computer Engineer and Management. Based out of San Francisco, I excel at bridging the gap between technical and non-technical teams and creating technologies and products that people love. I currently work at Facebook as a Technology Partner. In my spare time, I enjoy being in the outdoors, camping and the occasional racquetball game. I’ve had a lifelong passion for computers and have had a career that has spanned over a number of industries.

    1
    Reply
    almost 2 years ago
  • employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne

    @blog Congrats, you're an http://svdictionary.com/words/innovator

    1
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    over 1 year ago
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18

Agile

A term start ups use to justify any corner cutting they have to take to "get shit done"

Jon (developer): Why did you take away all our desks and chairs and replace them with card-board boxes?
Eric (CTO): Jon, we have to be more Agile. Those desks and chairs are paying for one extra EC2 core.

Kelly (developer): Why the fuck did we let Drew write this shitty ass module?
Eric (CTO): We have to be Agile and move at the speed of business. Drew "got shit done".

Added by stevebot stevebot almost 2 years ago

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18

Making the world a better place

Solving a very specific problem that loosely translates into a social benefit.

We are making the world a better place through P2P iBeacon messaging platforms.

Added by dennis dennis almost 2 years ago

  • charlesjo charlesjo

    Look at how much time sink we've created for evil people... with Reddit.

    1
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    almost 2 years ago
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18

Bing It

An expression created by a marketing team within Microsoft that hypothesized that people would say this over the more commonly used expression "Google it."

Microsoft Marketing Rep: I want you to figure out Google's market share.
Bing Product Engineer: Sure one sec let me Google it.
Microsoft Marketing Rep: NO! Bing it!
Bing Product Engineer: Oh right, I forgot.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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16

Slack

A communication tool for sending messages, files, and GIFS to coworkers, team members, etc.

Roberto: Hey Mike, did you get the TPS reports from Barbara?
Mike: Nah hombre, let me go slack her.
Roberto: Sounds good. Don't forget to spam the channel with GIFS that no want wants to see.
Mike: Will do!

Added by zander zander almost 2 years ago

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16

DINK

Duel Income, No Kids - A co-worker who is married to another tech who makes as much as you do. They don't have any kids and spend their time buying things on Amazon Prime, paying for movies on Apple TV, drinking wine from an online wine delivery club, and drive their BMWs to spin class, yoga, and to drop their dogs off at doggie-daycare.

"Must be nice to have a partner that makes as much as you do. You DINKs have it all."

Added by RobotCowboy RobotCowboy almost 2 years ago

  • FuctCo5K FuctCo5K

    Freeze yr eggs, bitch. I'm sure your career will improve so that you can feel OK to have kids.... someday. Hahaha sucker.

    1
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    about 1 year ago
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16

Herd Mentality

When people follow the leader or others like a herd instead of thinking independently. Often seen when investors are deciding which startups to fund.

VC: You guys have a really strong team, exactly the type that we like to fund, but we just don't believe in the idea.
Kim: Did I mention that a16z decided to invest in us yesterday.
VC: Wait. Don't leave. I think we started things off on the wrong foot.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

15

Buzzfeed

A site of hyperbole that occasionally masquerades as a news source when it wants to feel relevant.

TimeWaster: ”Did you see that article on Buzzfeed News?”
NormalPerson: “No..I was reading real news”

Added by svpro svpro almost 2 years ago

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15

Big Data

When your database takes at least 2 minutes to export to a CSV.

Engineer: "Our mongo collection hit 1 million records a few moments ago."
Hiring Manager: "Great, now I can post this position for a Big Data Engineer on Hacker News."

Added by planningtime planningtime almost 2 years ago

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14

Jian Yang

A character on the Silicon Valley show that represents your stereotypical asian engineer in the Silicon Valley world. Jian Yang is from China and is often misunderstood due to cultural differences and language barriers.

Jian Yang: Which is for burning?
Erlich: We don't burn trash in this country. It's illegal.
Jian Yang: What about garbage?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUBpqOdF3i0

The actor for Jian Yang, Jimmy Yang doing standup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_UyvGIeXW0

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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14

The LinkedIn Endorsement Burn

Passive aggressively endorsing someone on LinkedIn for a menial skill such as Microsoft Word, while purposely ignoring their more relevant talents in things like Ruby on Rails or Objective C in an attempt to belittle them.

Gilfoil got LinkedIn endorsement burned by Zeeshan when he purposely decided to only endorse him for Microsoft Powerpoint, even though he's a senior engineer at Pied Piper with a wide array of talents.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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14

Cloud

A catch-all word the rest of the world can use for 90% of this dictionary, while still remaining smug about having used it.
*Works great in movies as well.

Joe: I don't get it...
Bill: It's simple: I put it in the Cloud! Duh.
Joe: Oh, okay. I get it now.

Added by dc2 dc2 almost 2 years ago

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14

Swift

Swift is a multi-paradigm, compiled programming language created by Apple Inc. It is also the last name of a famous American pop star.

Zeeshan: Your resume says you have 10 years of Swift experience.
Intern Applicant: Yes sir.
Zeeshan: You do realize it hasn't been around for that long...
Intern Applicant: Sorry sir I was trying to look cool.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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14

Facebook Friend

Somebody you met in real life once who is useful for increasing your friend count and possibly the like counts of your latest selfies but likely someone you will never talk to again.

"I don't know who Jane is but she's liking my photos so she stays."

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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13

Thiel Fellow

A student under the age of 20 handpicked by Peter Thiel to drop out of college and start a company.

I dropped out of MIT because Peter Thiel just gave me a $100,000 to realize my dream of creating a social network for dogs.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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13

Hockey Stick Growth

A way to describe the type of fast growth that VC likes which is up and to the right like a hockey stick. When pitched by founders, it is often accompanied by a y axis that isn't labeled or a growth percentage that doesn't include initial value.

Matthew: We experienced 1200% user growth in the past week. Our growth is as hockey stick as it gets.
Sam: How many users did you start off with.
Matthew: You know... I didn't need to take this meeting. VCs are lining up to fund me

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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13

Social Media

The first team to be downsized when you run out of funding.

Our social media manager was let go after she accidentally posted that Reddit thread to Twitter.

Added by firasd firasd almost 2 years ago

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13

Zero Billion

Any amount under 1 billion, rendering you off of Forbes billionaire's list, if you round down.

I'm not a billionaire anymore. I'm a nine-hundred-and-eighty-sixionaire, which isn't even a fucking thing. If you round down, I have zero billion.

Added by mczajka mczajka almost 2 years ago

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