21

Dave Ratio

It's very difficult to achieve gender parity at a startup, given the toxic culture. The next best metric, is to compare the number of men named dave, to the number of women. Reference

Alex: It's hard finding a company that has a reasonable number of women.
Kourtney: Have you tried working at a company with a 10:1 dave ratio?

Added by oakland_mike oakland_mike over 9 years ago

    21

    Innovator

    A catch-all euphemism for "douchebag." Frequently used to a) describe one's self in a Twitter bio/LinkedIn headline or b) describe others when you're not really sure what they do exactly, but it probably has something to do with disruption or artisanal donuts or growth hacking or some shit.

    Your LinkedIn headline: "Innovator/CEO of Douche, The World's First Ephemeral Craft Beer Wearable."

    Added by supernovanGirl supernovanGirl over 9 years ago

      20

      Agile

      A term start ups use to justify any corner cutting they have to take to "get shit done"

      Jon (developer): Why did you take away all our desks and chairs and replace them with card-board boxes?
      Eric (CTO): Jon, we have to be more Agile. Those desks and chairs are paying for one extra EC2 core.

      Kelly (developer): Why the fuck did we let Drew write this shitty ass module?
      Eric (CTO): We have to be Agile and move at the speed of business. Drew "got shit done".

      Added by stevebot stevebot over 9 years ago

        20

        Bing It

        An expression created by a marketing team within Microsoft that hypothesized that people would say this over the more commonly used expression "Google it."

        Microsoft Marketing Rep: I want you to figure out Google's market share.
        Bing Product Engineer: Sure one sec let me Google it.
        Microsoft Marketing Rep: NO! Bing it!
        Bing Product Engineer: Oh right, I forgot.

        Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

          20

          Technical Founder

          A 5.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.

          Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

          19

          Making the world a better place

          Solving a very specific problem that loosely translates into a social benefit.

          We are making the world a better place through P2P iBeacon messaging platforms.

          Added by dennis dennis over 9 years ago

          • charlesjo charlesjo

            Look at how much time sink we've created for evil people... with Reddit.

            1
            Reply
            over 9 years ago
          18

          DINK

          Duel Income, No Kids - A co-worker who is married to another tech who makes as much as you do. They don't have any kids and spend their time buying things on Amazon Prime, paying for movies on Apple TV, drinking wine from an online wine delivery club, and drive their BMWs to spin class, yoga, and to drop their dogs off at doggie-daycare.

          "Must be nice to have a partner that makes as much as you do. You DINKs have it all."

          Added by RobotCowboy RobotCowboy over 9 years ago

          • FuctCo5K FuctCo5K

            Freeze yr eggs, bitch. I'm sure your career will improve so that you can feel OK to have kids.... someday. Hahaha sucker.

            1
            Reply
            over 8 years ago
          17

          Herd Mentality

          When people follow the leader or others like a herd instead of thinking independently. Often seen when investors are deciding which startups to fund.

          VC: You guys have a really strong team, exactly the type that we like to fund, but we just don't believe in the idea.
          Kim: Did I mention that a16z decided to invest in us yesterday.
          VC: Wait. Don't leave. I think we started things off on the wrong foot.

          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

          17

          The LinkedIn Endorsement Burn

          Passive aggressively endorsing someone on LinkedIn for a menial skill such as Microsoft Word, while purposely ignoring their more relevant talents in things like Ruby on Rails or Objective C in an attempt to belittle them.

          Gilfoil got LinkedIn endorsement burned by Zeeshan when he purposely decided to only endorse him for Microsoft Powerpoint, even though he's a senior engineer at Pied Piper with a wide array of talents.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

            16

            Slack

            A communication tool for sending messages, files, and GIFS to coworkers, team members, etc.

            Roberto: Hey Mike, did you get the TPS reports from Barbara?
            Mike: Nah hombre, let me go slack her.
            Roberto: Sounds good. Don't forget to spam the channel with GIFS that no want wants to see.
            Mike: Will do!

            Added by zander zander over 9 years ago

              15

              Big Data

              When your database takes at least 2 minutes to export to a CSV.

              Engineer: "Our mongo collection hit 1 million records a few moments ago."
              Hiring Manager: "Great, now I can post this position for a Big Data Engineer on Hacker News."

              Added by planningtime planningtime over 9 years ago

                15

                Jian Yang

                A character on the Silicon Valley show that represents your stereotypical asian engineer in the Silicon Valley world. Jian Yang is from China and is often misunderstood due to cultural differences and language barriers.

                Jian Yang: Which is for burning?
                Erlich: We don't burn trash in this country. It's illegal.
                Jian Yang: What about garbage?

                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUBpqOdF3i0

                The actor for Jian Yang, Jimmy Yang doing standup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_UyvGIeXW0

                Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                  15

                  Buzzfeed

                  A site of hyperbole that occasionally masquerades as a news source when it wants to feel relevant.

                  TimeWaster: ”Did you see that article on Buzzfeed News?”
                  NormalPerson: “No..I was reading real news”

                  Added by svpro svpro over 9 years ago

                    15

                    Facebook Friend

                    Somebody you met in real life once who is useful for increasing your friend count and possibly the like counts of your latest selfies but likely someone you will never talk to again.

                    "I don't know who Jane is but she's liking my photos so she stays."

                    Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                      15

                      Uber Driver Engineer

                      A label that describes a lot of Uber drivers. When you talk to one they will tell you they are trying to learn how to code, build an app and start a company. Uber is only now, startup is future. The passenger will encourage the driver but deep down inside they don't think its happening.

                      Because of the success of Uber there has been an influx of Uber Driver Engineers trying to start their own companies.

                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                        14

                        Cloud

                        A catch-all word the rest of the world can use for 90% of this dictionary, while still remaining smug about having used it.
                        *Works great in movies as well.

                        Joe: I don't get it...
                        Bill: It's simple: I put it in the Cloud! Duh.
                        Joe: Oh, okay. I get it now.

                        Added by dc2 dc2 over 9 years ago

                          14

                          Wantrepreneur

                          Someone who wants to start a company so he or she can garner social proof from it all, instead of someone who has an innovative idea that could possibly make money.

                          Although alot of the Wharton MBA's are quite intelligent, many of them are wantrepreneurs who just want to tell girls that they are the CEOs of companies.

                          Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 9 years ago

                          • Ismael Ismael

                            Also popularized by Mark Cuban on Shark Tank.

                            1
                            Reply
                            over 8 years ago
                          14

                          Hockey Stick Growth

                          A way to describe the type of fast growth that VC likes which is up and to the right like a hockey stick. When pitched by founders, it is often accompanied by a y axis that isn't labeled or a growth percentage that doesn't include initial value.

                          Matthew: We experienced 1200% user growth in the past week. Our growth is as hockey stick as it gets.
                          Sam: How many users did you start off with.
                          Matthew: You know... I didn't need to take this meeting. VCs are lining up to fund me

                          Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 9 years ago

                            14

                            Thiel Fellow

                            A student under the age of 20 handpicked by Peter Thiel to drop out of college and start a company.

                            I dropped out of MIT because Peter Thiel just gave me a $100,000 to realize my dream of creating a social network for dogs.

                            Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago

                              14

                              Swift

                              Swift is a multi-paradigm, compiled programming language created by Apple Inc. It is also the last name of a famous American pop star.

                              Zeeshan: Your resume says you have 10 years of Swift experience.
                              Intern Applicant: Yes sir.
                              Zeeshan: You do realize it hasn't been around for that long...
                              Intern Applicant: Sorry sir I was trying to look cool.

                              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 9 years ago