9

Protective Incompetence

Being bad at something you don't like to do, so you don't have to do it.

> I think the reason I made such a mystery of business was that I was disgusted by the idea of doing it. I wanted to work in the pure, intellectual world of software, not deal with customers' mundane problems. People who don't want to get dragged into some kind of work often develop a protective incompetence at it. Paul Erdos was particularly good at this. By seeming unable even to cut a grapefruit in half (let alone go to the store and buy one), he forced other people to do such things for him, leaving all his time free for math. Erdos was an extreme case, but most husbands use the same trick to some degree.

http://www.paulgraham.com/start.html

Added by adamzerner adamzerner over 2 years ago

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9

Janitor at startup

The title an asshole CEO (generally a sole founder) puts on their Linkedin title to show they have the ability to fire anybody.

Random dude: Where do you work?
Albert: I am at the greatest game company around called BigVikingGames
Random dude: Cool, what do you do there?
Albert: I am the janitor, I just take out the trash!
Random dude: cool story bro

Added by timferris timferris over 2 years ago

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9

LilB

An artist and cultural icon from Berkeley, California who many regard as "the rawest rapper in the game." To many of his fans he's simply known as The BasedGod and to many's surprise, he's quite plugged into life in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley.

I went to the free LilB concert on the UC Berkeley campus today. We pretty much spent the night bobbing our head to his mastermind music, while doing the LilB cooking dance. It was fantastic.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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9

San Francisco

The city of San Francisco is one the most famous cities in the Bay Area, home to the SF Giants, hipsters, a thriving LGBT community, and enough fog to make you consider suicide, commonly referred to as "The City". When non Bay Area natives talk about the Bay Area, they're either talking about SF or Silicon Valley.

Alex: Yo man, you doing something later? It's Friday.
Kim: Yea I'm thinking about heading to The City later for some drinks, probably near Nob Hill or something.
Alex: Sounds chill. Can I come?
Kim: I don't know if it's your scene. The place has pretty hipster bars. They all have PBR on tap for $5 a pint.

Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 2 years ago

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9

I/O

A techie way of saying Input/Output.

All you really need to know is that it communicates between an information processing system, such as a computer, and the real world, possibly a human.

This is not to be confused with .IO, which is a tld people use to name their sites with because they are too lazy to negotiate for the .com.

A computer that uses memory-mapped I/O accesses hardware by reading and writing to specific memory locations. This basically means your computer will help you initiate commands with your Macbook's hardware.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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8

Bricked

A piece of hardware that doesn’t function anymore because it was tampered with.
You seriously messed up that upgrade, and now your entire device has been rendered useless.

"I tried to install the most recent version of Windows on my old Mac, but it totally bricked the whole computer."

Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper over 2 years ago

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8

Dogfooding

When companies use their own products, often in beta, to test and work out any bugs.
Dogfooding often results in companies catching glitches in their apps before they're released to the public.

"They really should have dogfooded that app before they released it — there were so many bugs!"

Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper over 2 years ago

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8

Eat Your Own Dog Food

Actually using the product that you make.

To realize the users' pain points with your product, you have to eat your own dog food and actually use it.

Added by trescomas trescomas over 2 years ago

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8

SWOT Analysis

SWOT is a planning method used to evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of an idea or decision. Jared is ridiculed by the other members of Pied Piper on Silicon Valley for suggesting SWOT because they think it is corporate and a waste of time.

"I've booby trapped the house with corporate resources"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfB0g_JDIds

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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8

Self made entrepreneur

A label meaning that an entrepreneur has come from nothing, has not inherited their wealth or startup. A lot of entrepreneurs have found a loophole because while inheriting a lot of money disqualifies one from being self made, receiving a shit ton of money and connections from your parents while they are alive doesn't.

John: How did you possibly hire 50 people without any VC funding. You told me you were self made?
Lyman: My dad gave me a ton of money and connections. Does that count?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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8

Rollback

Generally refers to when you push bad code to production and you want to undo your changes by rolling back to a previous release

I've made a huge mistake. Do a rollback

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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8

Startup Dinner

4 contractors working evenings
$1800

Pizza for 4 full time engineers
$15

"Yes, you can -definitely- expense dinner."

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 2 years ago

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8

Noncompete Agreement

Any agreement by which:
- The employee pretends they won't go work for the competition.
- The employer pretends it's enforceable in the State of California.

Engineer #1: "They wanted me to sign a noncompete."
Engineers: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 2 years ago

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8

Pokemon Recruiting

Giving preference to job candidates based on having unusual non-job-related characteristics - with the goal of collecting one of each kind to your team. Based on the collectible toy with the theme "Gotta Catch 'Em All".

Yuliya: Hey look, a resume from a Bulgarian engineer who speaks Urdu and plays the ukelele in her spare time.

Andy: Wow, serious Pokemon points there.

Added by AndyB AndyB over 2 years ago

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8

Dick Jerk Algorithm

Highly sophisticated algorithm devised by Pied Piper engineers where one can jerk off 4 dudes at once.
This algorithm inspired Richard to come up with an advanced middle out algorithm.
Dick to floor. D2floor.

ummm, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hUV9yhqgY enough said...

Added by svhunt svhunt over 2 years ago

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8

X for Y

A way entrepreneurs use to describe their startup to customers and investors so they can quickly grasp how their product works. It is done by comparing your startup to another successful company that likely pioneered its business model.

My startup is Airbnb for cars = people can borrow your car when you are not using it
My startup is Uber for food = food will be delivered to you on demand
My startup is Urban Dictionary for Silicon Valley = svdictionary.com

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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8

Pre-IPO Bubble

A currently "non-occuring" speculative bubble where there is an increasing number of pre-ipo companies with ridiculous valuations which will never reach investor expectations

Economist: it seems like the dot com bubble is happening again except companies are pre IPO

VC: woah, this start up has expential user growth must be the next unicorn! Better invest now.

Added by JonWilkins JonWilkins over 2 years ago

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8

Grab Bag Founders

When a number of people have decided not to be cofounders with you and you are left with all C level players. Basically, scraping the bottom of the barrel.

John wanted to start a company and needed cofounders but all of his friends decided to work for Google instead so he did a mass email blast and took the first 2 people to reply.

Added by SingleCommaClub SingleCommaClub over 2 years ago

  • chipchop chipchop

    Wonder where you thought of this from

    1
    Reply
    over 2 years ago
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8

150ft Rule

A company wide standard at Google that says that not even a single area of the office can be situated at a distance exceeding 150 feet, from sources of food.

When I work I constantly have food at my desk. It's a delicious life. The main reason I never want to leave Google is the 150ft rule.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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8

Legacy Code

Legacy code is source code that relates to a no-longer supported, manufactured operating system or other computer technology.

To punish Lewis, the senior engineer decided to make him read and edit legacy code for an entire week.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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