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Logo Wingman Fail

When you go out with your logo wingman but you don't choose a suitable logo.

Jen: I know what you're doing but I don't know what Pied Piper is

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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2

Cloud

A descriptive word given to something that is running on someone else's computer.

We will run our product in the cloud, so it is accessible to users on the internet.

Added by slushieman slushieman almost 2 years ago

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2

Ponytail Bias

When you automatically assume someone is a great engineer because of their ponytail. This bias most often occurs with men who also have metal glasses frames and a beard that goes down to their neck.

James often experiences pony tail bias when he visits Seattle even though he's really a musician who plays with a band no ones ever heard of.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie 9 months ago

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Up and to the Right

An incredible growth curve in your business metrics. Also known as a Hockey Stick curve.

Squeeze the X-axis until your growth curve is Up and to the Right.

Added by firasd firasd almost 2 years ago

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2

Unicorn

A startup that is valued at $1 billion dollars or more

Chris: We need to raise more money so our valuation will rise and so Techcrunch will add us to their startup unicorn list

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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2

ARR

Short for Annual Recurring Revenue

Typically this refers to the recurring revenue per customer. Total recurring revenue / # of customers.

Me: My startup is killing it! We're making 10 millions in ARR!
Matt: HOLY SHIT DUDE!! YOU'RE AMAZING!!!

Added by svhunt svhunt almost 2 years ago

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2

Techie Scum

A term often used when trying to angrily describe software engineers or people who work at software companies.

This term is usually coupled with stereotypes such as wearing a hoodie, consuming kale, drinking Philz or Bluebottle coffee, rimmed glasses, gentrification, etc.

Lewis: My rent is going up by 500$ this year. What in the fuck is happening.

Ray: It's because of the horde of techie scum that's moved in this month.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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2

Malware Engineer

An asshole software engineer who creates malware (programs that attack your computer to display advertisements and unwanted pop ups).

Satish: One of my students was a malware engineer who installed malware on my computer after emailing me his homework. Now whenever I plug my Mac into the projector during lecture, Live Jasmine popups keep showing up.

Ryan: Uhh...that's because you have this tab open right here on chrome.

Satish: You weren't supposed to see that.

Added by GoogleEngineer GoogleEngineer almost 2 years ago

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2

Social Media

One of the species of apps that keep getting made. They're really just shitty clones of Facebook and Twitter. I mean if Google couldn't do it, what makes you think you could? It is estimated that every year:
Hundreds of thousands of variants of social media apps are pitched
Thousands are built to an MVP
A couple hundred end up on the app store as different niche apps after the companies pivoted

Alex: Hey Tara, check out my new Social Media app!
Tara: Oohh! Next Facebook right here!

Added by willgr81 willgr81 about 1 year ago

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2

Problem Observer

A shitier version of a problem solver. A problem observer is a person who points out obstacles (even if they are incredibly obvious) offers no solution, and feels really good about themselves. They tend to end up working at a big company for the rest of their lives.

Mark was a problem solver that started facebook and dropped out of Harvard. Roy was a problem observer that has a PhD from Stanford and works at Yahoo.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

Comp Plan

An incentivized payment plan for a sales rep in a start up.

You'll know what salary they're offering you once you go over your comp plan with the manager.

Added by sfazal sfazal 9 months ago

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2

The 'Porn At The End Of The Tunnel' VR Hypothesis

The hypothesis that says that no matter HOW good or bad VR software is developed, VR pornography will pave the way for the platform's future.

Sora: VR is just a fad. People are not going to want to spend more than a month using it. It's a pain to use and it makes me sick to be in their for too long. LETS STOP DEVELOPING FOR VR PLATFORMS. THEY'RE NEVER GONNA SUCCEED.

Wang: Stop thinking rationally and just remember the 'porn at the end of the tunnel.'

Sora: You're right. I'm getting back to work.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 1 year ago

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The Shell Dilemma

When your startup reaches the point where you only have engineers on your team, all of which become a hollow unexciting shell of themselves in the board room. This is when you end up having to compromise and add your first non-technical founder because he is an incredible orator and can represent the product you built better than anyone on your team can.

On the Silicon Valley TV show, Richard faces the shell dilemma when he finds he cannot pitch his idea without sweating profusely and messing up. He seeks help from his friend Erlich Bachman afterward to save him.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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2

Stack

Shorthand for Stackoverflow, the question and answer site for professional and enthusiast programmers.

A: "I just cannot figure out how I'm supposed to get this gulp task to work!"
B: "Did you check Stack? Looks like a common enough problem."
A: "Good point, I'll ask Stack."

Added by picopallasi picopallasi almost 2 years ago

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2

Hack

Traditionally this term has meant gaining unauthorized access to computer system but in Silicon Valley it has expanded to any be any clever solution to a problem.

You converted that cardboard box into a chair? Nice hack!

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

  • skamansam skamansam

    This is actually the other way around. See the Jargon File for a much older definition: 1. n. Originally, a quick job that produces what is needed, but not well.

    2
    Reply
    almost 2 years ago
  • zazpowered zazpowered

    @skamansam interesting. thanks for sharing

    1
    Reply
    almost 2 years ago
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2

Passing

When you reject a company's pitch for funding and decide not to fund them.

James passed on Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, but funded 'Yo' as soon as he got the chance.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie 11 months ago

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2

Hooli

A giant tech corporate founded and headed by Gavin Belson. A company that gets into a legal dispute with Pied Pier for copyright infringement.
It can also be used interchangeably for fu**ing things up all the time.

Zeeshan: how did your exams go?
Matt: Man, I hoolied it up again! I gotta study harder next time.

Added by svhunt svhunt almost 2 years ago

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2

Startup Marketing Intern

Free labor for early stage startups that normally do data entry and social media related work. They don't normally get paid but want a job for the summer so are willing to do whatever to add to their embarrassingly empty LinkedIn page.

Jack: Holy shit Max! You're company is huge. You already have 9 people here.

Paul: Don't be too impressed Jack. 7 of them are unpaid marketing interns.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 almost 2 years ago

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Whale

A term borrowed from the gambling world to refer to higher rollers that drop a lot of cash and make casinos a ton of money. In Silicon Valley, whale refers to high rollers in mobile games. Zynga, Supercell and other mobile gaming companies make most of their money from whales as less than 3% of freemium game players spend any money on in-app purchases.

Richard: Lets make our game free so we can attract the most number of downloads and hope that a good percentage of our players convert into whales.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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2

Skywalker Soreness

When your right hand is in such extreme pain from coding or typing that it feels as if it's been cut off by a laser sword.

I waited until the end of the deadline to finish my part of the project and now I have skywalker soreness. I can't do anything with my right hand.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago