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Andreessen Voodoo

Drawing facial pictures on eggs to make them look like venture capitalist Marc Andreessen. Entrepreneurs then worship the eggs, hoping they can grow to unicorn status.

Every night before going to be Kamdesh engaged in Andreessen Voodoo hoping that his pitch would go well the following week.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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TLA Departments

Short for "Three Letter Acronym": A department of a company that does not have any apparent function at all.
Groups like this are usually created by trendy management fads.

Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper over 2 years ago

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2

Problem Observer

A shitier version of a problem solver. A problem observer is a person who points out obstacles (even if they are incredibly obvious) offers no solution, and feels really good about themselves. They tend to end up working at a big company for the rest of their lives.

Mark was a problem solver that started facebook and dropped out of Harvard. Roy was a problem observer that has a PhD from Stanford and works at Yahoo.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

The Algorithm Exit

Ending an argument or justifying an explanation by claiming one's algorithm is superior without any sort of justification of said algorithm. Often used in Hollywood produced films.

After getting in a 2 hour argument on whose product was better, Jeremy screamed that his algorithm was superior making an algorithm exit, shutting the door behind him.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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2

The Shell Dilemma

When your startup reaches the point where you only have engineers on your team, all of which become a hollow unexciting shell of themselves in the board room. This is when you end up having to compromise and add your first non-technical founder because he is an incredible orator and can represent the product you built better than anyone on your team can.

On the Silicon Valley TV show, Richard faces the shell dilemma when he finds he cannot pitch his idea without sweating profusely and messing up. He seeks help from his friend Erlich Bachman afterward to save him.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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2

Hooli

A giant tech corporate founded and headed by Gavin Belson. A company that gets into a legal dispute with Pied Pier for copyright infringement.
It can also be used interchangeably for fu**ing things up all the time.

Zeeshan: how did your exams go?
Matt: Man, I hoolied it up again! I gotta study harder next time.

Added by svhunt svhunt over 2 years ago

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2

Whale

A term borrowed from the gambling world to refer to higher rollers that drop a lot of cash and make casinos a ton of money. In Silicon Valley, whale refers to high rollers in mobile games. Zynga, Supercell and other mobile gaming companies make most of their money from whales as less than 3% of freemium game players spend any money on in-app purchases.

Richard: Lets make our game free so we can attract the most number of downloads and hope that a good percentage of our players convert into whales.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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2

Skywalker Soreness

When your right hand is in such extreme pain from coding or typing that it feels as if it's been cut off by a laser sword.

I waited until the end of the deadline to finish my part of the project and now I have skywalker soreness. I can't do anything with my right hand.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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For Profit Do Good

A company that works to raise money for charitable causes, but is also a business that produces revenue. This is not incorporated as a Non-Profit organization.

charitybuzz.com

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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2

Passing

When you reject a company's pitch for funding and decide not to fund them.

James passed on Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, but funded 'Yo' as soon as he got the chance.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

They Took Our Jobs

A popular double entendre referencing a redneck slogan of immigrant labor replacing US jobs and the passing of Steve Jobs.

Zeeshan: I hate the IPhone 6.

Matt: They took our Jobs...

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

Eskimo Startup

Eskimo startup - (def) A startup which is attempting to sell a product the market understands better than the startup itself, that the market doesn't need or of which it already has a plentiful supply.

"It was an eskimo startup. They were trying to sell ice to eskimos, it was impossible to succeed"

Added by BigSlowTarget BigSlowTarget about 1 year ago

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2

Simply Scheming

Trying to impress a future employer by referencing knowledge in Lisp (a programming language with a horrendous amount of parenthesis) that is mostly only taught at MIT and UC Berkeley. Simply Scheme is also the title to a textbook written by Brian Harvey (MIT alum and tenured Berkeley professor).

Fred simply schemed his way out of the first round interviews making his interviewer feel incompetent by his lack of knowledge in Lisp.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

  • freefunctor freefunctor

    This is taught heavily at Waterloo as well (although there is a fair bit of Haskell as well). Elegant weapons, for a more civilized world.

    2
    Reply
    over 2 years ago
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2

Blackhat Developer

One who uses his or her knowledge as a developer to do illegal or questionably moral tasks.

Julius is a blackhat developer who hacks into people's emails at Starbucks looking for nude photos because that's the only thing that turns him on. Nobody at work likes him or uses the wifi when he is around.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 1 year ago

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2

Oski Eyes

When an engineering student (primarily UC Berkeley students) tries to talk to a girl but ends up frowning and giving her an awkward vibe because he is too scared to say anything. This is mostly done out of innocence and fear.

Cindy was really interested in meeting my friend Brian, but since she was the first girl he'd talked to in months he ended up giving her Oski eyes and scaring her off. She's over there talking to that Haashole Brad now.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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2

Bachelor's Degree

An academic degree which typically consists of about 40 college classes in a particular field of study. Much like a startup, it is typically either undervalued (by the uneducated) or overvalued (by zealous parents) rather than being appreciated in equanimity as a testament to consistent work under an educational institution. Also known as Peter Thiel's Kryptonite

Harold: So I see that you got a Bachelor's Degree just last year?

Katelyn: Yes, in Electrical Engineering

Harold: Hmm, so can you use Linux?

Katelyn: ...

Added by willgr81 willgr81 over 1 year ago

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2

Daily Active Users

Number of people who visit your app every day. Usually more important than Active Installs.

Joe: We have 10,000,000 installs.

Kal: How many Daily Active Users do you have?

Joe: 100

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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2

Net 30

I hope this fly-by-night startup pays me before my rent check is due.

Founder: "And how fast do I need to pay you?"
Freelancer: "Oh, it's Net 30."

Freelancer crosses fingers for luck.

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 2 years ago

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2

Equity Leaching Nests

Office spaces that require you to give up percent ownership of your company (or warrants to purchase parts of your company up to 10 years) in exchange for month to month office space.

The Ratchetry is an equity leaching nest that wants our company to sign up. Although I like the investor team that backs it, I'm pretty indifferent about the program itself.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

2

Microdabbing

A popular practice where people microdose on drugs (primarily LSD) for recreation.

After working at Facebook the entire day, Jim goes home and starts microdabbing.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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