7

Man Jose

Man Jose refers to the city of San Jose, located within Silicon Valley, which contains a large number of male Software Engineers.

Sam: Why can't I find a nice girl to go out with?
Mark: What did you expect? You live in Man Jose.

Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 1 year ago

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7

Valley Ageism

Belief that older software engineers aren't cool because they haven't learned the newest programming languages or aren't willing to work 16 hours a day because of family commitments. There's also pressure to do well at a young age due to the celebrity status of young entrepreneurs/engineers such as Mark Zuckerburg

The Carver: Your algorithm is solid. It's really good schema.
Richard: Ok... Thanks
The Carver: I thought you'd be younger. What are you 25?
Richard: 26
The Carver: Yikes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdXKdRoB9Wk

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

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7

CS Fix My Shit Fallacy

The false assumption that anyone who can code or has a computer science degree can fix your computer or any household electronics.

Marco: Hey you study Computerz at that fancy university don' you? Could you fix my toaster?

Julian: Hell no. Why would I know how to do something like that.

Marco: Because computerz are basically more advance toasterz.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

McKinsey

A mythical land where MBAs come into our world.

"I just left McKinsey and moved to San Francisco"

Added by hello hello over 1 year ago

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6

Slacking

Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

Jack: You've been getting alot done.

James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Beta-Pig

Some sad-sack SME client who agrees to QA your shitty, half-built, poorly-coded, likely useless, new product or functionality.

See also: Pivot http://svdictionary.com/words/pivot

"So you're telling me... you want to dabble outside your core business without any clear plan nor the requisite skills and use my firm as your free QA Beta-Pig? No goddamn way. Oh you won't charge us? Why didn't you say so? I'll pull our dev team off current OKRs to take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Thank you so much for thinking of us."

Added by IPLobby.com IPLobby.com over 1 year ago

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6

Get Shit Done

A phrase taking to mean "fuck everything you learned in CS class and code like Jack Kerouac until we get the release out"

Eric(CTO): Guys its time to "get shit done". Stop writing tests and let's just crank this thing out.

Eric (CTO): Drew likes to "get shit done". I wish more of you developers could crank out KLOC's like him.

Added by stevebot stevebot over 1 year ago

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6

Facebook Reach

Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

6

CRUD App

An app that can create, read, update, and destroy information.

The proverbial hammer, and every single one of your brilliant startup ideas is a nail.

You are looking at a CRUD app right now.

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 1 year ago

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6

The Five Dollar Footlong Lean Startup Diet

When a startup founder lives off of five dollar foot long sandwiches to save money for his or her early stage venture. They buy a single five dollar foot long subway sandwich, eat half of it in the afternoon and the other half at dinner.

Since Julius is on the five dollar day long diet, he only eats footlong subway sandwiches everyday to conserve his companies startup money. It's kind of sad.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

6

Codecademy

The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.

Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today?

Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Single Point of Failure

When your start-up has only one unisex toilet for the whole building.

Our single point of failure is backed up to "the cloud" (or "the butt")

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 1 year ago

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6

Freemium

A strategy used by startups to make money by shoving as many people through the top of a funnel as possible and hoping some of them convert into paid users.

Matthew: Right now we have a shitty product that nobody will pay for. Lets release it for free so at least somebody will use it and then we can gradually improve it and charge them for extra services.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

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6

TresCommas

This word's roots comes from the number 1,000,000,000. Which has 3 commas. TresCommas is a club that was formed by billionaires. The word is a hybrid of Spanish and English. "Tres" meaning three (3), and Commas meaning, well, commas ",". The only way to be inducted into the TresCommas Club is to have a net worth of at least 1 billion dollars. Correct usage of the word requires an inter-cap spelling, both the "T" and "C" should always be capitalized to further emphasize what it denotes. Should a club member's net worth fall below TresCommas, membership status is instantly revoked. Members are easy to spot in SV because the cars they drive have Billionaire Doors. TresCommas is also a brand of Tequila, which is only available to members of the TresCommas club.

I'm in the TresCommas club and have the Tequila to prove it.

Added by trescommas trescommas over 1 year ago

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6

Tech Stars

An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.

I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

The Zuckerberg Like

When a Facebook employee reaches a major life milestone and Mark Zuckerberg has acknowledged their existence by liking their Facebook profile picture. This normally happens after their team pushes a major feature onto the Facebook web or mobile client..

I've been working at Facebook as a Product Manager for 3 years and I've finally gotten the Zuckerberg like. I nearly fainted. I'm going to work here until I'm dead.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Haashole

A student pursuing an undergraduate, Masters, or PhD degree from UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business.

I don't know whether to add Derrick to our Hackathon team. He's just a Haashole who tries too hard and doesn't understand how anything works. He's a great bullshiter though so maybe he would be useful for the presentation.

Added by EE40 EE40 over 1 year ago

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6

Duck Syndrome

The duck syndrome is where on the surface of things, someone seems normal and are floating along peacefully. However, the truth is that underneath the water the person is paddling feverishly to keep going.

People: Oh dude! Everything in the startup world seems fun!
You: Oh yeah man! I love it, it's super easy. *cries deeply inside*

Added by Spshulem Spshulem over 1 year ago

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6

Venture Dunce

A "VC" outside of the Bay Area that has little to no experience in software/hardware, enterprise, and consumer plays. Often seen funding the nth food delivery market place or Uber meets bicycles. The dumb money that keeps many startups fed.

Just raised $10mm from the Venture Dunce for my Uber meets Chinese food delivery. Hope he doesn't visit the Bay Area much.

Added by 15years 15years over 1 year ago

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6

Deliverables

A startup uses this word when it's no longer a startup

"Hey congrats on the series B!"
"Thanks! Are your deliverables in yet?"

Added by orien orien over 1 year ago