7

Rental Property

The only real way to make money in Silicon Valley.

Owning Silicon Valley rental property sure beats working for a living!

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 2 years ago

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7

Culture Reset

The CEO's or CTO's reason for firing half of the engineering department.

"Steve, with our new culture reset, we're going to have to let you go. You just didn't fit the culture."

Added by planningtime planningtime over 2 years ago

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7

Tech Aficionado

A person who is insecure about their superficial knowledge in software, hardware and technology in general, but really wants to fit in. It's a description often used in online social blogging bios.

Hi my name is Homer, I'm a sushi enthusiast, cat owner, and a tech aficionado living in the Bay Area. I do marketing for Uber.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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6

Codecademy

The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.

Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today?

Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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6

Facebook Reach

Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

6

TresCommas

This word's roots comes from the number 1,000,000,000. Which has 3 commas. TresCommas is a club that was formed by billionaires. The word is a hybrid of Spanish and English. "Tres" meaning three (3), and Commas meaning, well, commas ",". The only way to be inducted into the TresCommas Club is to have a net worth of at least 1 billion dollars. Correct usage of the word requires an inter-cap spelling, both the "T" and "C" should always be capitalized to further emphasize what it denotes. Should a club member's net worth fall below TresCommas, membership status is instantly revoked. Members are easy to spot in SV because the cars they drive have Billionaire Doors. TresCommas is also a brand of Tequila, which is only available to members of the TresCommas club.

I'm in the TresCommas club and have the Tequila to prove it.

Added by trescommas trescommas over 2 years ago

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6

Tech Stars

An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.

I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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6

That's Startup Life

The default response whenever someone talks about how shitty being an entrepreneur is.

Kim: I've been working for the past 15 hours, can't afford anything but Taco Bell and investors are telling me they want to circle back in a few months. We all know what that means. This sucks.
Matthew: That's startup life. What do you expect?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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6

Slacking

Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

Jack: You've been getting alot done.

James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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6

Haashole

A student pursuing an undergraduate, Masters, or PhD degree from UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business.

I don't know whether to add Derrick to our Hackathon team. He's just a Haashole who tries too hard and doesn't understand how anything works. He's a great bullshiter though so maybe he would be useful for the presentation.

Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 2 years ago

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6

One Dollar Billionaire

Refers to the $1 a year salary that a lot of founders and top executives take on for tax benefits. It's also because who really cares about salary when you have a billion dollars.

Mark Zuckerberg: I make $1 a year. You know what that means

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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6

Deliverables

A startup uses this word when it's no longer a startup

"Hey congrats on the series B!"
"Thanks! Are your deliverables in yet?"

Added by orien orien over 2 years ago

6

On Demand

Another way of saying "for lazy people."

Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 2 years ago

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6

Big 4

For a software engineer this generally refers to Amazon, Facebook, Google and Microsoft.

If I don't get into a Big 4 my life is over. They are so prestigious

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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6

Freemium

A strategy used by startups to make money by shoving as many people through the top of a funnel as possible and hoping some of them convert into paid users.

Matthew: Right now we have a shitty product that nobody will pay for. Lets release it for free so at least somebody will use it and then we can gradually improve it and charge them for extra services.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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6

Single Point of Failure

When your start-up has only one unisex toilet for the whole building.

Our single point of failure is backed up to "the cloud" (or "the butt")

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 2 years ago

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6

Venture Dunce

A "VC" outside of the Bay Area that has little to no experience in software/hardware, enterprise, and consumer plays. Often seen funding the nth food delivery market place or Uber meets bicycles. The dumb money that keeps many startups fed.

Just raised $10mm from the Venture Dunce for my Uber meets Chinese food delivery. Hope he doesn't visit the Bay Area much.

Added by 15years 15years over 2 years ago

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6

Beta-Pig

Some sad-sack SME client who agrees to QA your shitty, half-built, poorly-coded, likely useless, new product or functionality.

See also: Pivot http://svdictionary.com/words/pivot

"So you're telling me... you want to dabble outside your core business without any clear plan nor the requisite skills and use my firm as your free QA Beta-Pig? No goddamn way. Oh you won't charge us? Why didn't you say so? I'll pull our dev team off current OKRs to take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Thank you so much for thinking of us."

Added by IPLobby.com IPLobby.com over 2 years ago

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6

Tweetstorm

When somebody wants to tweet something that is more than 140 characters but is not considerate enough to link to a blog post or use an image. Tweets in a tweetstorm are generally numbered and look like a mini essay in your Twitter feed.

http://avc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ts-1.jpg

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 2 years ago

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6

My Code is Compiling

An excuse engineers use to do whatever the hell they want in the workplace.

Jimmy: Dude why are you riding your bike indoors, listening to Daft Punk with the speakers blasted, without any pants on?
Lewis: My code is compiling.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 2 years ago

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