7

Culture Reset

The CEO's or CTO's reason for firing half of the engineering department.

"Steve, with our new culture reset, we're going to have to let you go. You just didn't fit the culture."

Added by planningtime planningtime over 3 years ago

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7

Disruptive

An adjective to describe a start-up or technology that thrashes resources in the economy, because causing people to lose their means of income and scotching the value of resources is super fun and awesome.

This disruptive vegetable/fruit-picking technology will help migrant laborers lose their jobs so they can go back to their homeland and get decapitated by drug cartels.

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 3 years ago

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7

Man Jose

Man Jose refers to the city of San Jose, located within Silicon Valley, which contains a large number of male Software Engineers.

Sam: Why can't I find a nice girl to go out with?
Mark: What did you expect? You live in Man Jose.

Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 3 years ago

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6

Tech Stars

An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.

I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 3 years ago

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6

That's Startup Life

The default response whenever someone talks about how shitty being an entrepreneur is.

Kim: I've been working for the past 15 hours, can't afford anything but Taco Bell and investors are telling me they want to circle back in a few months. We all know what that means. This sucks.
Matthew: That's startup life. What do you expect?

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

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6

Facebook Reach

Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

6

On Demand

Another way of saying "for lazy people."

Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 3 years ago

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6

Haashole

A student pursuing an undergraduate, Masters, or PhD degree from UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business.

I don't know whether to add Derrick to our Hackathon team. He's just a Haashole who tries too hard and doesn't understand how anything works. He's a great bullshiter though so maybe he would be useful for the presentation.

Added by covfefelord covfefelord over 3 years ago

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6

Deliverables

A startup uses this word when it's no longer a startup

"Hey congrats on the series B!"
"Thanks! Are your deliverables in yet?"

Added by orien orien over 3 years ago

6

Big 4

For a software engineer this generally refers to Amazon, Facebook, Google and Microsoft.

If I don't get into a Big 4 my life is over. They are so prestigious

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

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6

Tweetstorm

When somebody wants to tweet something that is more than 140 characters but is not considerate enough to link to a blog post or use an image. Tweets in a tweetstorm are generally numbered and look like a mini essay in your Twitter feed.

http://avc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ts-1.jpg

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

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6

Single Point of Failure

When your start-up has only one unisex toilet for the whole building.

Our single point of failure is backed up to "the cloud" (or "the butt")

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K over 3 years ago

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6

TresCommas

This word's roots comes from the number 1,000,000,000. Which has 3 commas. TresCommas is a club that was formed by billionaires. The word is a hybrid of Spanish and English. "Tres" meaning three (3), and Commas meaning, well, commas ",". The only way to be inducted into the TresCommas Club is to have a net worth of at least 1 billion dollars. Correct usage of the word requires an inter-cap spelling, both the "T" and "C" should always be capitalized to further emphasize what it denotes. Should a club member's net worth fall below TresCommas, membership status is instantly revoked. Members are easy to spot in SV because the cars they drive have Billionaire Doors. TresCommas is also a brand of Tequila, which is only available to members of the TresCommas club.

I'm in the TresCommas club and have the Tequila to prove it.

Added by trescommas trescommas over 3 years ago

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6

Venture Dunce

A "VC" outside of the Bay Area that has little to no experience in software/hardware, enterprise, and consumer plays. Often seen funding the nth food delivery market place or Uber meets bicycles. The dumb money that keeps many startups fed.

Just raised $10mm from the Venture Dunce for my Uber meets Chinese food delivery. Hope he doesn't visit the Bay Area much.

Added by 15years 15years over 3 years ago

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6

Freemium

A strategy used by startups to make money by shoving as many people through the top of a funnel as possible and hoping some of them convert into paid users.

Matthew: Right now we have a shitty product that nobody will pay for. Lets release it for free so at least somebody will use it and then we can gradually improve it and charge them for extra services.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

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6

The Zuckerberg Like

When a Facebook employee reaches a major life milestone and Mark Zuckerberg has acknowledged their existence by liking their Facebook profile picture. This normally happens after their team pushes a major feature onto the Facebook web or mobile client..

I've been working at Facebook as a Product Manager for 3 years and I've finally gotten the Zuckerberg like. I nearly fainted. I'm going to work here until I'm dead.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 3 years ago

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6

Technical Social Media Manager

Somebody who in addition to being able to retweet and favorite tweets mentioning their company's name also knows basic HTML.

I've managed to carve a nice niche for myself by learning how to bold text using html

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

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6

One Dollar Billionaire

Refers to the $1 a year salary that a lot of founders and top executives take on for tax benefits. It's also because who really cares about salary when you have a billion dollars.

Mark Zuckerberg: I make $1 a year. You know what that means

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 3 years ago

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6

My Code is Compiling

An excuse engineers use to do whatever the hell they want in the workplace.

Jimmy: Dude why are you riding your bike indoors, listening to Daft Punk with the speakers blasted, without any pants on?
Lewis: My code is compiling.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 3 years ago

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6

Slacking

Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

Jack: You've been getting alot done.

James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 3 years ago

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