7

CS Fix My Shit Fallacy

The false assumption that anyone who can code or has a computer science degree can fix your computer or any household electronics.

Marco: Hey you study Computerz at that fancy university don' you? Could you fix my toaster?

Julian: Hell no. Why would I know how to do something like that.

Marco: Because computerz are basically more advance toasterz.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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7

Technical Debt

Reason you give for not shipping shit

We have a bunch of technical debt we have to work resolve before we can ship X new feature

Added by Flacko Flacko almost 2 years ago

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7

FOMO

FOMO = an acronym for "Fear of Missing Out"

The team was exhausted from attending/pitching at multiple conferences during the same week, but pressed on- motivated by FOMO that their dream angel investor might be present.

Added by StephanieG StephanieG almost 2 years ago

  • @WeTeachGeeks @WeTeachGeeks

    So many events to attend....so many clients to find...

    2
    Reply
    almost 2 years ago
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6

Slacking

Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

Jack: You've been getting alot done.

James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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6

Get Shit Done

A phrase taking to mean "fuck everything you learned in CS class and code like Jack Kerouac until we get the release out"

Eric(CTO): Guys its time to "get shit done". Stop writing tests and let's just crank this thing out.

Eric (CTO): Drew likes to "get shit done". I wish more of you developers could crank out KLOC's like him.

Added by stevebot stevebot almost 2 years ago

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6

McKinsey

A mythical land where MBAs come into our world.

"I just left McKinsey and moved to San Francisco"

Added by hello hello almost 2 years ago

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6

Beta-Pig

Some sad-sack SME client who agrees to QA your shitty, half-built, poorly-coded, likely useless, new product or functionality.

See also: Pivot http://svdictionary.com/words/pivot

"So you're telling me... you want to dabble outside your core business without any clear plan nor the requisite skills and use my firm as your free QA Beta-Pig? No goddamn way. Oh you won't charge us? Why didn't you say so? I'll pull our dev team off current OKRs to take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Thank you so much for thinking of us."

Added by IPLobby.com IPLobby.com almost 2 years ago

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6

CRUD App

An app that can create, read, update, and destroy information.

The proverbial hammer, and every single one of your brilliant startup ideas is a nail.

You are looking at a CRUD app right now.

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 2 years ago

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6

Freemium

A strategy used by startups to make money by shoving as many people through the top of a funnel as possible and hoping some of them convert into paid users.

Matthew: Right now we have a shitty product that nobody will pay for. Lets release it for free so at least somebody will use it and then we can gradually improve it and charge them for extra services.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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6

Codecademy

The default answer lazy software engineers give to their non-techinical friends, when asked what the best way to learn how to code is.

Jimmy: You're such a good programmer. I want to learn how to code, but already have this Haas degree and can't go back to college. What can I do to learn today?

Bobby: I don't know man, google it. I hear Codecademy is a thing. I just want to go back to playing DOTA.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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6

Venture Dunce

A "VC" outside of the Bay Area that has little to no experience in software/hardware, enterprise, and consumer plays. Often seen funding the nth food delivery market place or Uber meets bicycles. The dumb money that keeps many startups fed.

Just raised $10mm from the Venture Dunce for my Uber meets Chinese food delivery. Hope he doesn't visit the Bay Area much.

Added by 15years 15years almost 2 years ago

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6

Facebook Reach

Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

6

Single Point of Failure

When your start-up has only one unisex toilet for the whole building.

Our single point of failure is backed up to "the cloud" (or "the butt")

Added by FuctCo5K FuctCo5K almost 2 years ago

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6

Tech Stars

An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.

I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

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6

Haashole

A student pursuing an undergraduate, Masters, or PhD degree from UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business.

I don't know whether to add Derrick to our Hackathon team. He's just a Haashole who tries too hard and doesn't understand how anything works. He's a great bullshiter though so maybe he would be useful for the presentation.

Added by covfefelord covfefelord almost 2 years ago

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6

One Dollar Billionaire

Refers to the $1 a year salary that a lot of founders and top executives take on for tax benefits. It's also because who really cares about salary when you have a billion dollars.

Mark Zuckerberg: I make $1 a year. You know what that means

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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6

The Five Dollar Footlong Lean Startup Diet

When a startup founder lives off of five dollar foot long sandwiches to save money for his or her early stage venture. They buy a single five dollar foot long subway sandwich, eat half of it in the afternoon and the other half at dinner.

Since Julius is on the five dollar day long diet, he only eats footlong subway sandwiches everyday to conserve his companies startup money. It's kind of sad.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 2 years ago

6

Deliverables

A startup uses this word when it's no longer a startup

"Hey congrats on the series B!"
"Thanks! Are your deliverables in yet?"

Added by orien orien almost 2 years ago

6

Tweetstorm

When somebody wants to tweet something that is more than 140 characters but is not considerate enough to link to a blog post or use an image. Tweets in a tweetstorm are generally numbered and look like a mini essay in your Twitter feed.

http://avc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ts-1.jpg

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 2 years ago

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6

Uber Funded

When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

Zayne: Right...congrats?

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 almost 2 years ago

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