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East Bay Startups

Despite mainstream view, they indeed exist are are growing more and more prevalent. With the absurd prices in San Francisco and Palo Alto, areas in Downtown Oakland, Emeryville, and pockets of Berkeley have seen increased growth in new company offices.

Many also consider living in the East Bay incredibly convenient, despite it's reputation for crime. It is often asked whether east bay startups should be considered apart of "Silicon Valley," to which many reply..."meh close enough."

Winston: Where is your startup office located good sir.

James: Oakland son.

Winston: I am not familiar with this Oak-Land. How far is it from Sand Hill Road?

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

6

Startup Wet Dreaming

A nocturnal emission that occurs at the thought of one's startup being acquired or achieving vast success.

Julie: These sheets....what the hell. Are you cheating on me?

Ryan: Sorry babe, I've been startup wet dreaming ever since Tech Stars accepted our team. Love ya.

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 almost 7 years ago

  • chipchop chipchop

    This may have happened to me before

    1
    Reply
    almost 7 years ago
6

Undev

Short for: Undead developer
See related: Undead

A developer who is constantly in a braindead state, having become accustomed to a severe degree of apathy (causes may vary) and low motivation. Usually, groups of them are found in companies with a highly lucrative business model coupled with low competition in their segment of the industry.

Identifiers: Unable to think, learn, or communicate despite repeated encouragement, instruction, and subsequent reprimanding.

Some studies have shown that undev-ness is contractable, but the means by which it spreads continues to elude scientists.

Added by lloydmeta lloydmeta over 6 years ago

6

Snack Dick

Like a regular dick but smaller and tucked behind the ear. Used by Dinesh on Silicon Valley to describe Pied Piper's logo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze4JhsDiSWI

Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

    6

    Technical Social Media Manager

    Somebody who in addition to being able to retweet and favorite tweets mentioning their company's name also knows basic HTML.

    I've managed to carve a nice niche for myself by learning how to bold text using html

    Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

      6

      McKinsey

      A mythical land where MBAs come into our world.

      "I just left McKinsey and moved to San Francisco"

      Added by hello hello almost 7 years ago

        6

        Cloud

        Also known as "The Internet".

        Bill: "I'm currently working in Cloud-Based Employment Solutions Research."
        Ted: "Are you looking for a job on Craigslist?"
        Bill: "....yes."

        Added by benjamin_james benjamin_james almost 7 years ago

          6

          The Five Dollar Footlong Lean Startup Diet

          When a startup founder lives off of five dollar foot long sandwiches to save money for his or her early stage venture. They buy a single five dollar foot long subway sandwich, eat half of it in the afternoon and the other half at dinner.

          Since Julius is on the five dollar day long diet, he only eats footlong subway sandwiches everyday to conserve his companies startup money. It's kind of sad.

          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

          6

          On Demand

          Another way of saying "for lazy people."

          Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

          Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne almost 7 years ago

            6

            Worder

            Anyone who use personal computers only for writing, just like a typewriter machine.

            "Do you think he can upload these on the website?"
            "Nah, he's just a worder!"

            Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper almost 7 years ago

              6

              Slacktivism

              Supporting a cause in the laziest way possible, usually on social media. You feel like you're helping without getting out of your chair.

              "I see in my feed you retweeted every single ice bucket challenge video. You should get an award for your slacktivism."

              Added by healthdatatom healthdatatom almost 7 years ago

              • yungsnuggie yungsnuggie

                this one's great

                1
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              • charlesjo charlesjo

                Thought this could be on Slack which would make audience even smaller. "I've done my part in the movement since I discussed it in my private Slack group."

                2
                Reply
                almost 7 years ago
              6

              Slacking

              Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

              Jack: You've been getting alot done.

              James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

              Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                6

                My Code is Compiling

                An excuse engineers use to do whatever the hell they want in the workplace.

                Jimmy: Dude why are you riding your bike indoors, listening to Daft Punk with the speakers blasted, without any pants on?
                Lewis: My code is compiling.

                Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                  6

                  Jeremy Lin

                  The perfect child. A Harvard graduate and now a player in the NBA. He is often used in reference by parents (especially in Palo Alto where he went to High School) to "motivate" their child to do better in all aspects of life.

                  Krishna Lee: Mom, I got into UCLA!
                  Mom: "WHY YOU NO LIKE JEREMY LIN. HE GO TO HARVARD AND PLAY IN NBA."

                  Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                    6

                    VC Money

                    Modern day Robinhood.
                    Taking money from your parent's retirement pension and redistributing it to early adopters of technology in Silicon Valley.

                    Friend 1: "How do you have so many free meals from Munchery? Have you ever paid for a single meal?"
                    Friend 2: "Nope. VC Money"

                    Added by ljyx123 ljyx123 almost 7 years ago

                      6

                      Facebook Reach

                      Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

                      It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

                      Added by zazpowered zazpowered almost 7 years ago

                      6

                      4 Year Vesting

                      You get a percentage of a total amount of stock allocation that cashes in yearly intervals until your 4th year.

                      Also another way of saying "I know it's tempting to leave, but we want you to stay while you're still young."

                      Zeeshan: You should start your own company. You're smart enough and have know enough people to recruit a strong founding team.
                      Kunal: Definitely! We should! I just need to wait until I'm 30 and my shares at Pied Piper vest!
                      Zeeshan: That's how they get you.

                      Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago

                        6

                        Silicon Beach

                        The area around Playa Del Rey/Venice where a fuckload of tech companies are moving in. Synonymous with brogrammers and people that wear startup t-shirts in public.

                        Brogrammer Intern 1: "These new start-up tanks are clutch! Silicon Beach is the fucking bomb dot com!"

                        Brogrammer Intern 2: "Shakabrah dude let's get SugarFish later then hit up the Bungalow since we're rich and gentrifying LA!"

                        Brogrammer Intern 1: "Tubular brah let me shave my neckbeard first then we can get hyphy for real my friend"

                        Added by dicknose dicknose almost 7 years ago

                        6

                        Amazon

                        A company that sells groceries to the lazy, stock shares to the gullible, and cloud services to the lazy and gullible.

                        Amazon: because I want to buy my underwear and Redis clusters from the same company.

                        Added by firasd firasd almost 7 years ago

                          6

                          Tinder Binge

                          When a person spends immense amount of time swiping right, in an attempt to get any match available regardless of attraction.

                          Ever since I've broken up with Mary, I've been on a Tinder binge trying to find someone...anyone.

                          Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie almost 7 years ago