6

4 Year Vesting

You get a percentage of a total amount of stock allocation that cashes in yearly intervals until your 4th year.

Also another way of saying "I know it's tempting to leave, but we want you to stay while you're still young."

Zeeshan: You should start your own company. You're smart enough and have know enough people to recruit a strong founding team.
Kunal: Definitely! We should! I just need to wait until I'm 30 and my shares at Pied Piper vest!
Zeeshan: That's how they get you.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Tech Stars

An incubator people apply to when getting rejected from YC. They aren't definitively worst it just always happens to be your second choice every time.

I gotta move to Boston now that we got into Tech Stars and need a semi reputable incubator.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Title Promotion

A title promotion is a like a normal promotion, except without any increase in compensation, whether salary or otherwise. This is typically used to make engineers feel more important and get them to do more work without actually paying them for it.

Calvin: I just got promoted to Senior Software Engineer! I get to manage a team and maintain existing code!
Jerry: Are you getting paid more?
Calvin: No, but think of how exciting this opportunity is!
Jerry: ...

Added by xmangoslushie xmangoslushie over 1 year ago

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6

Fuck You I Made It Burn

When someone whose reached any level of success posts the emails, IMs, or correspondence between them and anyone whose rejected them publicly prefacing it all as motivation for others to continue working hard toward their goals.

Man I felt so good reading Brian Chesky's, 7 Rejection's Medium post last Sunday. Reading those rejections word for word and blurring out the name of the person sending it, probably made it the best and most subtle Fuck You I Made It Burn of the year.

https:[email protected]/7-rejections-7d894cbaa084

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Haashole

A student pursuing an undergraduate, Masters, or PhD degree from UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business.

I don't know whether to add Derrick to our Hackathon team. He's just a Haashole who tries too hard and doesn't understand how anything works. He's a great bullshiter though so maybe he would be useful for the presentation.

Added by EE40 EE40 over 1 year ago

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6

Silicon Beach

The area around Playa Del Rey/Venice where a fuckload of tech companies are moving in. Synonymous with brogrammers and people that wear startup t-shirts in public.

Brogrammer Intern 1: "These new start-up tanks are clutch! Silicon Beach is the fucking bomb dot com!"

Brogrammer Intern 2: "Shakabrah dude let's get SugarFish later then hit up the Bungalow since we're rich and gentrifying LA!"

Brogrammer Intern 1: "Tubular brah let me shave my neckbeard first then we can get hyphy for real my friend"

Added by dicknose dicknose over 1 year ago

6

Slacking

Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

Jack: You've been getting alot done.

James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Facebook Reach

Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

6

TresCommas

This word's roots comes from the number 1,000,000,000. Which has 3 commas. TresCommas is a club that was formed by billionaires. The word is a hybrid of Spanish and English. "Tres" meaning three (3), and Commas meaning, well, commas ",". The only way to be inducted into the TresCommas Club is to have a net worth of at least 1 billion dollars. Correct usage of the word requires an inter-cap spelling, both the "T" and "C" should always be capitalized to further emphasize what it denotes. Should a club member's net worth fall below TresCommas, membership status is instantly revoked. Members are easy to spot in SV because the cars they drive have Billionaire Doors. TresCommas is also a brand of Tequila, which is only available to members of the TresCommas club.

I'm in the TresCommas club and have the Tequila to prove it.

Added by trescommas trescommas over 1 year ago

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6

Deliverables

A startup uses this word when it's no longer a startup

"Hey congrats on the series B!"
"Thanks! Are your deliverables in yet?"

Added by orien orien over 1 year ago

6

VC Money

Modern day Robinhood.
Taking money from your parent's retirement pension and redistributing it to early adopters of technology in Silicon Valley.

Friend 1: "How do you have so many free meals from Munchery? Have you ever paid for a single meal?"
Friend 2: "Nope. VC Money"

Added by ljyx123 ljyx123 over 1 year ago

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6

Tweetstorm

When somebody wants to tweet something that is more than 140 characters but is not considerate enough to link to a blog post or use an image. Tweets in a tweetstorm are generally numbered and look like a mini essay in your Twitter feed.

http://avc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ts-1.jpg

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

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6

Adblock Competenacy Test

Checking to see if a person has enough basic knowledge to have installed adblock on their browser of choice.

After opening the link to the new Justin Bieber music video, George failed the Adblock Competency Test after waiting for a 30 second Honda commercial to end.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Big 4

For a software engineer this generally refers to Amazon, Facebook, Google and Microsoft.

If I don't get into a Big 4 my life is over. They are so prestigious

Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 1 year ago

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6

Linkedin

A publicly-traded spam-bot and click-bait machine. It will steal your contacts info and transmit spam to you and your contacts in perpetuity. The 'Unsubscribe' link in the email is only a placeholder. LinkedIn engineers deliberately did not code any action into the link click, because Fuck You!
Compelled by the torrent of spam, you will login to the web interface/app and have your news feed bombarded with Grade A click-bait from famous internet trolls such as Business Insider.

I recently signed up on LinkedIn and now my 100GB inbox is #reckt.

Added by That_Guy That_Guy over 1 year ago

  • blwinters blwinters

    Best thing I've read on SVD.

    1
    Reply
    over 1 year ago
  • charlesjo charlesjo

    Whoever wrote this definition, please endorse me.

    1
    Reply
    over 1 year ago
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6

On Demand

Another way of saying "for lazy people."

Meals on demand. That's right, we're revolutionizing the way you get pizza.

Added by employeeNumbaOne employeeNumbaOne over 1 year ago

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6

Jeremy Lin

The perfect child. A Harvard graduate and now a player in the NBA. He is often used in reference by parents (especially in Palo Alto where he went to High School) to "motivate" their child to do better in all aspects of life.

Krishna Lee: Mom, I got into UCLA!
Mom: "WHY YOU NO LIKE JEREMY LIN. HE GO TO HARVARD AND PLAY IN NBA."

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Uber Funded

When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

Zayne: Right...congrats?

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 over 1 year ago

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6

My Code is Compiling

An excuse engineers use to do whatever the hell they want in the workplace.

Jimmy: Dude why are you riding your bike indoors, listening to Daft Punk with the speakers blasted, without any pants on?
Lewis: My code is compiling.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 1 year ago

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6

Beta-Pig

Some sad-sack SME client who agrees to QA your shitty, half-built, poorly-coded, likely useless, new product or functionality.

See also: Pivot http://svdictionary.com/words/pivot

"So you're telling me... you want to dabble outside your core business without any clear plan nor the requisite skills and use my firm as your free QA Beta-Pig? No goddamn way. Oh you won't charge us? Why didn't you say so? I'll pull our dev team off current OKRs to take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Thank you so much for thinking of us."

Added by IPLobby.com IPLobby.com over 1 year ago

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