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Narwhal

Definition #1: A Canadian Unicorn!

Definition #2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

American Founder - My startup is now officially a Unicorn!
Canadian Founder - My startup is now officially a Narwhal!
European Founder - Um Mr. American entrepreneur, if you may excuse me for a moment... the Unicorn is of European-origin, but if you like your horned mythical beasts so much, you can have the Jackalope!
Russia Founder - North Americans have messed with the Russians for far too long, the Narwhal is ours!
Canadian Founder - Oh sorry about (yes we say "about", not "aboot") that, how about we share?

Added by tosfan4ever tosfan4ever about 3 years ago

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6

4 Year Vesting

You get a percentage of a total amount of stock allocation that cashes in yearly intervals until your 4th year.

Also another way of saying "I know it's tempting to leave, but we want you to stay while you're still young."

Zeeshan: You should start your own company. You're smart enough and have know enough people to recruit a strong founding team.
Kunal: Definitely! We should! I just need to wait until I'm 30 and my shares at Pied Piper vest!
Zeeshan: That's how they get you.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 3 years ago

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6

Silicon Beach

The area around Playa Del Rey/Venice where a fuckload of tech companies are moving in. Synonymous with brogrammers and people that wear startup t-shirts in public.

Brogrammer Intern 1: "These new start-up tanks are clutch! Silicon Beach is the fucking bomb dot com!"

Brogrammer Intern 2: "Shakabrah dude let's get SugarFish later then hit up the Bungalow since we're rich and gentrifying LA!"

Brogrammer Intern 1: "Tubular brah let me shave my neckbeard first then we can get hyphy for real my friend"

Added by dicknose dicknose about 3 years ago

6

The Five Dollar Footlong Lean Startup Diet

When a startup founder lives off of five dollar foot long sandwiches to save money for his or her early stage venture. They buy a single five dollar foot long subway sandwich, eat half of it in the afternoon and the other half at dinner.

Since Julius is on the five dollar day long diet, he only eats footlong subway sandwiches everyday to conserve his companies startup money. It's kind of sad.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 3 years ago

6

Worder

Anyone who use personal computers only for writing, just like a typewriter machine.

"Do you think he can upload these on the website?"
"Nah, he's just a worder!"

Added by iamDeveloper iamDeveloper about 3 years ago

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6

Jeremy Lin

The perfect child. A Harvard graduate and now a player in the NBA. He is often used in reference by parents (especially in Palo Alto where he went to High School) to "motivate" their child to do better in all aspects of life.

Krishna Lee: Mom, I got into UCLA!
Mom: "WHY YOU NO LIKE JEREMY LIN. HE GO TO HARVARD AND PLAY IN NBA."

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 3 years ago

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6

To Tswift

To call out or threaten to call out a company on social media and have it actually mean something due to your popularity

I know my performance at work hasn't been the best but I think firing me is a little too drastic. Now you know I have 300,000 followers on Twitter. I don't like to do it but I will tswift the company if you don't change your mind.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 3 years ago

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6

Slacktivism

Supporting a cause in the laziest way possible, usually on social media. You feel like you're helping without getting out of your chair.

"I see in my feed you retweeted every single ice bucket challenge video. You should get an award for your slacktivism."

Added by healthdatatom healthdatatom about 3 years ago

  • yungsnuggie yungsnuggie

    this one's great

    1
    Reply
    about 3 years ago
  • charlesjo charlesjo

    Thought this could be on Slack which would make audience even smaller. "I've done my part in the movement since I discussed it in my private Slack group."

    2
    Reply
    about 3 years ago
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6

Post-LinkedIn Instacrushing

Being attracted to someone only after seeing their LinkedIn.

Jake: Did you know that Julia is employed at Square and got a 2300 SAT score when she was in High School? I'm in love with her.
George: Shut up Jake. You're so shallow, your just Post-LinkedIn Instacrushing on her.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 3 years ago

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6

Technical Social Media Manager

Somebody who in addition to being able to retweet and favorite tweets mentioning their company's name also knows basic HTML.

I've managed to carve a nice niche for myself by learning how to bold text using html

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 3 years ago

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6

Snack Dick

Like a regular dick but smaller and tucked behind the ear. Used by Dinesh on Silicon Valley to describe Pied Piper's logo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze4JhsDiSWI

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 3 years ago

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6

Slacking

Using a productivity tool called Slack to get work done or communicate with one's team. This can easily be confused to mean "not doing one's work."

Jack: You've been getting alot done.

James: Yeah man, I've been slacking all day.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 3 years ago

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6

Facebook Reach

Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 3 years ago

6

TresCommas

This word's roots comes from the number 1,000,000,000. Which has 3 commas. TresCommas is a club that was formed by billionaires. The word is a hybrid of Spanish and English. "Tres" meaning three (3), and Commas meaning, well, commas ",". The only way to be inducted into the TresCommas Club is to have a net worth of at least 1 billion dollars. Correct usage of the word requires an inter-cap spelling, both the "T" and "C" should always be capitalized to further emphasize what it denotes. Should a club member's net worth fall below TresCommas, membership status is instantly revoked. Members are easy to spot in SV because the cars they drive have Billionaire Doors. TresCommas is also a brand of Tequila, which is only available to members of the TresCommas club.

I'm in the TresCommas club and have the Tequila to prove it.

Added by trescommas trescommas about 3 years ago

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6

VC Money

Modern day Robinhood.
Taking money from your parent's retirement pension and redistributing it to early adopters of technology in Silicon Valley.

Friend 1: "How do you have so many free meals from Munchery? Have you ever paid for a single meal?"
Friend 2: "Nope. VC Money"

Added by ljyx123 ljyx123 about 3 years ago

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6

Amazon

A company that sells groceries to the lazy, stock shares to the gullible, and cloud services to the lazy and gullible.

Amazon: because I want to buy my underwear and Redis clusters from the same company.

Added by firasd firasd about 3 years ago

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6

Tweetstorm

When somebody wants to tweet something that is more than 140 characters but is not considerate enough to link to a blog post or use an image. Tweets in a tweetstorm are generally numbered and look like a mini essay in your Twitter feed.

http://avc.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ts-1.jpg

Added by zazpowered zazpowered about 3 years ago

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6

Tinder Binge

When a person spends immense amount of time swiping right, in an attempt to get any match available regardless of attraction.

Ever since I've broken up with Mary, I've been on a Tinder binge trying to find someone...anyone.

Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie about 3 years ago

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6

Beta-Pig

Some sad-sack SME client who agrees to QA your shitty, half-built, poorly-coded, likely useless, new product or functionality.

See also: Pivot http://svdictionary.com/words/pivot

"So you're telling me... you want to dabble outside your core business without any clear plan nor the requisite skills and use my firm as your free QA Beta-Pig? No goddamn way. Oh you won't charge us? Why didn't you say so? I'll pull our dev team off current OKRs to take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Thank you so much for thinking of us."

Added by IPLobby.com IPLobby.com about 3 years ago

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6

Uber Funded

When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

Zayne: Right...congrats?

Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 about 3 years ago

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