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Slacktivism

Supporting a cause in the laziest way possible, usually on social media. You feel like you're helping without getting out of your chair.

"I see in my feed you retweeted every single ice bucket challenge video. You should get an award for your slacktivism."

4 Comments
Added by healthdatatom healthdatatom over 4 years ago

6

Technical Social Media Manager

Somebody who in addition to being able to retweet and favorite tweets mentioning their company's name also knows basic HTML.

I've managed to carve a nice niche for myself by learning how to bold text using html

4 Comments
Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

6

Cloud

Also known as "The Internet".

Bill: "I'm currently working in Cloud-Based Employment Solutions Research."
Ted: "Are you looking for a job on Craigslist?"
Bill: "....yes."

1 Comment
Added by benjamin_james benjamin_james over 4 years ago

6

US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race

This references the pressure Bitcoin startups have to show significant traction or get acquired before the United States outlaws the use of Bitcoin (whether this will or will not happen is of course debatable).

Look man, because of the US Bitcoin Legislative Arms Race, our job is to make enough sales and sell out before the House and Senate make some extreme move in banning Bitcoin and making our company essentially worthless here in the US. I don't want to move to Greece man.

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Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

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6

Snack Dick

Like a regular dick but smaller and tucked behind the ear. Used by Dinesh on Silicon Valley to describe Pied Piper's logo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze4JhsDiSWI

2 Comments
Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

6

The Five Dollar Footlong Lean Startup Diet

When a startup founder lives off of five dollar foot long sandwiches to save money for his or her early stage venture. They buy a single five dollar foot long subway sandwich, eat half of it in the afternoon and the other half at dinner.

Since Julius is on the five dollar day long diet, he only eats footlong subway sandwiches everyday to conserve his companies startup money. It's kind of sad.

3 Comments
Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

6

McKinsey

A mythical land where MBAs come into our world.

"I just left McKinsey and moved to San Francisco"

2 Comments
Added by hello hello over 4 years ago

6

4 Year Vesting

You get a percentage of a total amount of stock allocation that cashes in yearly intervals until your 4th year.

Also another way of saying "I know it's tempting to leave, but we want you to stay while you're still young."

Zeeshan: You should start your own company. You're smart enough and have know enough people to recruit a strong founding team.
Kunal: Definitely! We should! I just need to wait until I'm 30 and my shares at Pied Piper vest!
Zeeshan: That's how they get you.

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Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

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6

To Tswift

To call out or threaten to call out a company on social media and have it actually mean something due to your popularity

I know my performance at work hasn't been the best but I think firing me is a little too drastic. Now you know I have 300,000 followers on Twitter. I don't like to do it but I will tswift the company if you don't change your mind.

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Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

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6

Post-LinkedIn Instacrushing

Being attracted to someone only after seeing their LinkedIn.

Jake: Did you know that Julia is employed at Square and got a 2300 SAT score when she was in High School? I'm in love with her.
George: Shut up Jake. You're so shallow, your just Post-LinkedIn Instacrushing on her.

1 Comment
Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

6

Facebook Reach

Facebook reach is the number of people that see posts from Facebook pages. Organic Facebook reach has dropped since Facebook made changes to their feed algorithm to encourage companies to buy ads promoting page posts.

It's almost pointless for our startup to promote our Facebook page because we will have to pay to get any Facebook reach.

3 Comments
Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

6

Amazon

A company that sells groceries to the lazy, stock shares to the gullible, and cloud services to the lazy and gullible.

Amazon: because I want to buy my underwear and Redis clusters from the same company.

2 Comments
Added by firasd firasd over 4 years ago

6

TresCommas

This word's roots comes from the number 1,000,000,000. Which has 3 commas. TresCommas is a club that was formed by billionaires. The word is a hybrid of Spanish and English. "Tres" meaning three (3), and Commas meaning, well, commas ",". The only way to be inducted into the TresCommas Club is to have a net worth of at least 1 billion dollars. Correct usage of the word requires an inter-cap spelling, both the "T" and "C" should always be capitalized to further emphasize what it denotes. Should a club member's net worth fall below TresCommas, membership status is instantly revoked. Members are easy to spot in SV because the cars they drive have Billionaire Doors. TresCommas is also a brand of Tequila, which is only available to members of the TresCommas club.

I'm in the TresCommas club and have the Tequila to prove it.

2 Comments
Added by trescommas trescommas over 4 years ago

6

Tinder Binge

When a person spends immense amount of time swiping right, in an attempt to get any match available regardless of attraction.

Ever since I've broken up with Mary, I've been on a Tinder binge trying to find someone...anyone.

2 Comments
Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

6

The Zuckerberg Like

When a Facebook employee reaches a major life milestone and Mark Zuckerberg has acknowledged their existence by liking their Facebook profile picture. This normally happens after their team pushes a major feature onto the Facebook web or mobile client..

I've been working at Facebook as a Product Manager for 3 years and I've finally gotten the Zuckerberg like. I nearly fainted. I'm going to work here until I'm dead.

2 Comments
Added by yungsnuggie yungsnuggie over 4 years ago

6

Venture Dunce

A "VC" outside of the Bay Area that has little to no experience in software/hardware, enterprise, and consumer plays. Often seen funding the nth food delivery market place or Uber meets bicycles. The dumb money that keeps many startups fed.

Just raised $10mm from the Venture Dunce for my Uber meets Chinese food delivery. Hope he doesn't visit the Bay Area much.

2 Comments
Added by 15years 15years over 4 years ago

6

One Dollar Billionaire

Refers to the $1 a year salary that a lot of founders and top executives take on for tax benefits. It's also because who really cares about salary when you have a billion dollars.

Mark Zuckerberg: I make $1 a year. You know what that means

2 Comments
Added by zazpowered zazpowered over 4 years ago

6

Uber Funded

When your startup is funded from the side cash made off of Uber driving.

Zayne: Have you guys raised a round of funding?

Pan: We are in fact, Uber funded.

Zayne: Right...congrats?

2 Comments
Added by HalfLife3 HalfLife3 about 4 years ago

6

Linkedin

A publicly-traded spam-bot and click-bait machine. It will steal your contacts info and transmit spam to you and your contacts in perpetuity. The 'Unsubscribe' link in the email is only a placeholder. LinkedIn engineers deliberately did not code any action into the link click, because Fuck You!
Compelled by the torrent of spam, you will login to the web interface/app and have your news feed bombarded with Grade A click-bait from famous internet trolls such as Business Insider.

I recently signed up on LinkedIn and now my 100GB inbox is #reckt.

4 Comments
Added by That_Guy That_Guy about 4 years ago

6

Beta-Pig

Some sad-sack SME client who agrees to QA your shitty, half-built, poorly-coded, likely useless, new product or functionality.

See also: Pivot http://svdictionary.com/words/pivot

"So you're telling me... you want to dabble outside your core business without any clear plan nor the requisite skills and use my firm as your free QA Beta-Pig? No goddamn way. Oh you won't charge us? Why didn't you say so? I'll pull our dev team off current OKRs to take advantage of this incredible opportunity. Thank you so much for thinking of us."

2 Comments
Added by IPLobby.com IPLobby.com over 4 years ago

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